Does he still exist?

Forest wasn’t home, in bed, staring blankly at a book he had just finished writing. Forest was sitting on a log laid out on its side, a few feet away from a campfire in front of him that he helped light. His travelling companion Rio had just poured Forest the fanciest brew the family-like squad had managed to preserve over their journey across the world. He marched triumphantly to share the brew with Mozzi before clearing his throat.
“A toast!” he said, shoving his mug into the sky, spilling it around without a care in the world. “What a day. It’s not every day we get to search for and destroy a goblin hideout, but being rewarded for all of the many stolen items we returned to the town with a celebration of a lifetime made for a night I’m sure none of us will ever forget!” There was some cheering and some “Hear hear!” chanting at that. Even if there were only 5 of them, they celebrated as loud as an entire village. Rio then went on to single out every member of his new family and praise them for the strategic and physical show the gave that day. Every round of praise followed by a cheer, none of them losing any energy after the previous.
Rio turned to Forest and smirked. “And lastly, to Forest. Let me ask you, where in the world did that come from!?” he teased, and everyone laughed and cheered. Forest smirked cheekily and with a slight blush. “We all know you’re not one to step up in the most physical of situations, but today… holy hell did you fight like the most talented and trained assassin I’ve ever seen!”
Forest continued to blush at the compliment and the resounding cheer, before murmuring in response “I’m not that bad normally… I train on occasion…”
“Aye, and that training paid off in spades!” said Sen, another one of Forest’s new brothers. Forest ignored a “Hear hear” from Mozzi as he turned surprised to Sen. Sen had a look Forest rarely saw from him: Sen was proud. This meant more to Forest than he expected; In all the years Forest had been travelling, Sen was the one Forest looked up to the most when it came to physical combat. Sen was always cool, calm, collected, and calculated with every movement, and had the strength that rivalled the strongest orc. Hearing that kind of praise from Sen meant everything to Forest.
“Cheers to a great night!” Rio exclaimed, and the loudest cheer yet was sent off into the night sky. The crew spent the rest of the night drinking, singing, and in the case of Forest, ended with a fantastic night with his girlfriend Sylvia.
“I remember that night,” Forest’s wife Sylvia whispered.
Forest shook his head to wake himself back up to Mythrite. He turned to Sylvia with an embarrassed smile. “How long have you been here?”
“Not long, I just came in,” she giggled, not asking why Forest hadn’t noticed her entrance. How is the book coming along?”
Forest closed it and stared at the front page. “I finished an hour or so ago.”
“I’d ask you how you feel about it but considering how much of a storyteller you’re known to be around here… I’d say you’re feeling confident about it.”
Forest didn’t say anything. Something stopped his voice from saying anything right now. His mind was in a million places, and yet not one of his thoughts was processible.
Sick of the silence, Sylvia asked “How’s your leg?”
Forest had to find his voice. “It’s doing much better.”
Sylvia didn’t have to ask if something was wrong. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Forest pondered for a moment, attempting to solve the puzzle that was his mental state. He turned to Sylvia slowly and stared her in the eyes, desperately hoping they’d make things simple to explain. Sylvia stared back patiently and caringly like she always did.
“You remember that night?” Forest began. “Because it was a very important night for me. It felt like I had reached a new level. For the first time, I wasn’t relying just on my intuition and problem-solving, but I felt capable of taking on anything, physically or mentally, it didn’t matter. I could genuinely travel the world and not have to worry about not handling it, being ill-prepared, or whatever… I didn’t have any worries. I was on top of the world.” While monologuing, Forest lost control. Even a hug by his wife couldn’t stop her clothes from being wet.
“I remember who I was back then.” Forest said.
“Yeah.”
“Does he still even exist?”
The hug lasted an hour, even though it only lasted a minute.
Eventually the two switched from a consoling hug to a comfort cuddle, where Forest continued to vent. “That’s twice in the past three weeks that I’ve been outright attacked. Twice that I haven’t been able to protect myself in an environment with plenty of guards looking out for intruders.”
“Well, to be fair, they’ve been kind of busy as of late…” Sylvia joked, unhelping.
“Sylvia… I used to be on top of the world. If I can’t even protect myself now… what am I supposed to do out in the wild?”
“Forest-“
“How am I supposed to protect my twelve-year-old daughter!?” Forest snapped.
Sylvia sighed. “I know how you feel honestly. I’m not the same as I used to be either…”
“Are… are we making a mistake?” Forest asked.
For one of the first times in Forest’s life, Sylvia was beginning to show weakness in front of him. “I don’t know…” she said, choked up. “I want more than anything to go back to those days of old, when we just did we what we want and didn’t have to worry about anything. But… now things feel… different…”
“But what!?” Forest cried. “Why is this so hard now?”
Sylvia weakly chuckled. “Because we’re parents. Protecting our kid supersedes all logic or reasoning.”