Finding Friends

The bottles of healing draught clanked in Solana’s bag as she walked down the dirt road into the Eronia Settlement. She stopped briefly to make sure they were not going to break. Solana was delivering them to her friend, Tobias. She had heard that he was looking for some medicine earlier in the week. It had been a lot of trouble to find the merchant selling them. The people here tended to get a little suspicious when she went to their living settlements. After rearranging them to not move around so much, she continued. whether it was because he was sick or someone close to him was sick, having a friend need something as simple as medical care and not be able to get it was not something Solana would accept. He could have already gotten it and not told her, but she just needed to be sure. She tugged her coat closer to her as some of the people living there glanced at her. They knew she lived in the Reverie. Solana hurried her step as she approached Tobias’s home. She was greeted with the soft sound of snoring. She knocked hoping since he was close enough to the door for her to hear him, he would wake up and answer. The snoring continued. Should she just leave the potions on the doorstep? After glancing around to the people watching her, she could not trust that they would not take them. Solana banged on the door trying to wake him this time. Tobais continued to snore. He must be drunk sleeping. She gave a sigh. The sound seemed to have irritated some of the people nearby. The longer she was here, the more likely one of them was going to approach her. She tore a page out of her sketchbook and wrote a note. “Dear Tobias, I picked up some potions for you since I was worried about you. If you need them, stop by my shop while I’m working.” She slid the note in some decoration on the door so it would not fly away but still be visible to Tobais when he left his home. If he did not stop by her shop soon, she would try to stop by again. She had a second task she needed to get done.   Much to Solana’s discomfort, this other task was in the Halberd. It was like Eronia, but worse. There was a blacksmith people had recommended to her there. Ruith Nornan who ran the Tempered Edge. Ruiths skills had earned her the name “Iron Viper”. She had been skeptical about this visit. A lot of the humans said she was racist. To them, the viper part of the name was to reflect the language in which she spoke to them. Solana had to visit her. She needed to know how to blacksmith if she was going to work mythrite ore into her leatherworking designs. After looking at some of the work Ruith had done, Solana knew she was a great person to ask. Her eyes darted around looking for the sign as she hurried down the street. At last she found it and darted in. Solana spotted Ruith, a human.   “The fuck do you want?” Ruith growled at Solana. “It’s rude to stare knife ears.”   Solana defaulted to the social skills she had learned at the fancy parties her parents used to take her to. “I’m so sorry! I was simply excited to see you ma’am!” Solana gave a polite bow “I heard of your skill as a blacksmith and I simply had to visit.”   Ruith rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair “arn’t you a princess. Where do you think you are, a ballroom? Stand the hell up already. Tell me what you want to buy. Be on your way.”   Solana with embarrassment stood up “Actually I was hoping for a lesson. You see, I would like to incorporate some degree of blacksmithing into my leather working. I felt that your work was the best so I came here for some guidance.”   Ruith shifted resting her elbows on the desk and glared at Solana “ay, My work is the best. I am a very dedicated craftsperson. I care about what is done with my knowledge. For what reason do you think I would teach some random leatherworker who probably does not give half a fuck about her own craft let alone mine.”   Solana gave an indignant huff “I care a lot about my craft! I just like trying to improve it. Here look at this!” She pulled out some gloves she had been working on earlier. They had flower patterns sewn in. Ruith took them and looked them over with stern eyes.   “This is very nice work. Very dainty. You want to see dainty blacksmithing, Princess?” Ruith handed the gloves back.   “Sure? It’s Solana.” As Solana spoke Ruith pulled out a spool. It was mythrite thread.   “Nah, you took too long telling me that. Your Princess now. This stuff looks dainty. But it’s meant for fixing broken hammers. Check this out.” Ruith pulled the thread out and swung a knife at it. A loud clang occured as the knife bounced off the thread. Solana’s jaw dropped. “Keep your mouth open that way and a family of flies will move in.”   “Are you willing to teach me how to do that?”   Ruith waved Solana to her forge “For a discount on your goods” Solana watched as Ruith melted and shaped some mythrite. With this, she will be able to make a style truly unique and functional.   “Let me try.” Solana did her best to copy what Ruith did. The thread she made was nowhere near the quality that Ruith made. Solana covered her face in embarrassment. “I hope no one sees this shit.”   “D’aw, my baby blacksmith is learning to speak like one!” Ruith gave Solana a hefty slap on the back “You’ll get it eventually, Prin-cess” Solana felt the blood rush and heat her cheeks. At least she found a mentor.

Comments

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Sep 30, 2020 15:33

Overall I liked this vignette. The opening paragraph was a little too long which made it difficult to keep one's place while reading it. You also have a couple of instances of both showing and telling. For example, Solana upon introduction to Ruth gives a polite bow which immediately conveys a wealthy background if not outright courtly. You don't need to mention that she learned the behavior at fancy parties, the reader can infer that. This is a simple grammatical error/pet peeve but 'Your Princess now' should be 'You're Princess now' as they're pronounced the same this can't be passed off as Ruith's dialect.   You did a really good job of characterizing both Ruith and Solana. They foil excellently off of each other. I'll also mention that you could have started the story later the opening paragraph with Tobias seems completely unrelated to the blacksmithing.

Oct 4, 2020 02:07

I really like the distinct personalities you gave these characters. They are each very consistent and it is easy to tell who is speaking if you were to not directly say who was speaking.   I would agree with the other comment, it is best to focus on one specific scene with vignette's. This allows you to explore further who Solana is, how she would react to various situations, handle conflict, etc. That said, I think the scene with the blacksmith works really well for showing us who Solana is and at least part of what she's all about.

Oct 4, 2020 06:06

I like how this manages to act as a sequence for two characters meeting for the first time. It feels very strong and realistic and I hope to see more of this as time goes on.