Fortune favors the Bold

The party was a wonderful success, and every piece of trust I could’ve gained, I did. Marion is proving to be a very adept ally, helping to raise myself up with his aid. As I paced throughout my small home, I pondered the multitude of events that transpired the last night. Perhaps the plan wasn’t in order anymore, Marion was a good kid, and doesn’t deserve that. He’s put there, parading himself around as I stay here, cold and alone.   However, opportunities are beginning to show themselves. My attempts at learning of quick ways of making money bared little fruit, another than the expected. Finding out about him being present here as well, it does throw a wrench in a few plans. “Perhaps I should take care of him first.” I pondered out loud, without even realizing it. “That may just change how these plans transpire. Opportunities passing me by is not a preferable outcome.”   Glancing out of my window again, Marion has all but disappeared from view. The idea of being outshined by this kid began to weigh heavily on my own mind. “Yet the Perytons, they still roam the skies.” I muttered again, moving deeper into my home. The creaking of the old wood under my feet grounded my mind again. Reality wasn’t so kind as I wished it was, and so therefore I shall not be either. “This changes nothing.” My voice shifted into more of a low rumble, my fists clenched at my sides. I have never been one to let an opportunity pass me by so easily, and that shall not start now!   Even with the bolstering resolve in my mind, these things take time and thought. A single wrong move could indeed lead to my downfall, and none of my dreams would ever be realized. Hard choices must be made, fortune favors the bold, and I am no coward who will stand still. I paced around the bedroom of my home for what felt like ages, when my vision locked suddenly on the small portrait that laid on my bedside table. The small Dwarven boy led to a smile that creeped along my face, pushing everything else out of my mind.   While the resolve faded, a warmth filled my gullet, slowly rising through to warm my heart itself. “I will get you back, boy.” The words were like a low rumble, barely audible by even myself. However, the world wasn’t so kind as to allow me to keep in my own world for long, as a loud screeching filled my ears. “What in Moradin’s name?!” I cried out after covering my ears, I rushed outside to see the source of the racket.   Above me was flew some of the beasts, proving just how dangerous the town actually was currently. Watching the wretched creatures roam the sky sent the warmth tumbling away, only to be filled with a deep dread. These were the creatures that created my opportunities, and these were the creatures that sent the townsfolk into a sour state of being with the recent deaths. Stunned by my own thoughts, I wasn’t in focus on the creatures, and didn’t notice their approach to a seemingly easy prey. I ducked away inside my home again, hearing a loud thunk, then the screeching form the beast who missed their prey.   Watching the door, expecting it to fall towards me at any moment and for my life to be ended, I wondered why the hell I got myself into this mess. I stayed motionless, hearing as the beast slowly became bored with the hard to catch prey, before letting out a sigh of relief. “Damn myself if I don’t jump on it. Who knows how long this town will stay standing, and my hope will fall with it.” It would, however, be nothing more than a stupid move to go out now, with those beasts out there. I fell backwards into a chair of my own, stopping to think about courses of action.   “If this pit of hell falls, nothing I want will ever be mine. I must assure that it stays standing, at least until I get what I need.” Thinking back to my past experiences in the political sphere, it seems as though that is where my strengths would most likely come into play with this. “I haven’t shown myself to be anything to these people, they would never vote for a man such as myself.” Almost as though I was having a fully fledged conversation with myself, I turned, almost offering a reply. “Then why don’t I give them a reason to believe in me? I must find a way to bolster the people.” I find myself unable to sit still, my mind racing far too fast for my body to try and not keep up with it.   “History writes of leaders for the people, and of the people. Perhaps by bolstering the lower class, I will be able to gain the trust of the masses.” Shifting my own mind to the drawbacks of such a move; that would mean that I have less time to strengthen my connection with the upper class. However, perhaps someone else could help me campaign for such a position there. Someone who already was known for having Soirees with high attendance, and therefore with many high ranking individuals. Marion would be the perfect person to help with this, perhaps he could end up being useful yet.   The resolve from my own inner dialogue heats up the fire in my heart yet again. I stand tall in the confines of my own home, realizing that I cannot be the one to stay still, I cannot be the one to do nothing in this situation. I had to do something, something for him. After all, Fortune favors the bold.

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Apr 1, 2021 00:06

There are a lot of great things about this piece. It has a strong opening. The layout of the piece is thought out and easy to read. I think this piece could have benefited from some scene breaks, or more explanation at the end about what the resolve was/ is now. The word choices are interesting and thought out.   Like with almost any piece, there are still some areas where text can be cut. With the title of the piece being so strong, the impact is undercut when those words appear more than once. The use of them at the end is a great, strong ending, but that impact is undercut since they appeared two earlier times. Notice how this critique seems less impactful since I used the same words two sentences in a row? Same concept. There are some more trippy aspects of this piece, delving a little into surrealism, that are interesting and exciting to read. However, they are paced and spaced like standard paragraphs. I would have enjoyed them more if they were separated by a line or a scene break or something of that nature.