My name is
Biggs Morgans, and this here tale is as true as can be. This is the story of how I first met
Miss Qai’natha “Qai” Chia, and how I ended up in her employ here in Mythrite. So pull up a chair, because this story will never be told to another living creature.
It was a cold winter morning when she appeared on my doorstep. She was a young woman adorned in fashionable winter clothes, a furry boa and wide brimmed sun hat had concealed her face. A pair of shrewd brown eyes peaked out from under her hat, and suddenly I had a decent idea of why she was here. You see, I had been looking into Chia estate recently. Word had reached me that the daughter of a wealthy merchant had arrived alone to Mithrite; her family, her servants, and the entire caravan destroyed by monsters on their pilgrimage to that new frontier. My first thought was that this would develop into an empathetic sob story, tug at a few heartstrings and sell a couple of papers. But, the deeper I looked into this story the more it began to fall apart at the seems. So it looked like I had turned over one too many stones, as Miss
Qai Chia had appeared at my door.
The sun had only just begun to peak over the hilltops and I could already tell that I had a long day ahead of me. I pull open the creaky wooden door of my cottage and allow her to walk inside, the smell of expensive perfume replaces the scent of chestnuts that once filled my home. I stifle back a cough. Then I remove her coat and as she takes off her hat I sneak my first glimpse of her face; her make-up is simple and clean, her hair is dark and pulled back, she gave me a smile filled with hidden intentions. She took a seat at the end of my low wooden coffee table; the chair was multiple sizes too large for her but somehow she seemed to fill it with her eloquent presence. As I sat on the couch adjacent to her we began to exchange pleasantries. No names were given as we were well aware of the other person before the conversation began. Our words like daggers were thrown in a battle of wits, prodding the other person to see how much they knew without giving away too much information.
I quickly came to an understanding as our talks progressed. We both knew that i was getting close to the truth, but that even if I figured it out I would have nothing substantial to go off of. While I could have posted baseless information or spread it as rumors it wouldn’t help me in the long run and could damage my reputation. On the other hand, even as rumors she didn’t want anything to come out that might shine a light on her past. Not knowing how much I knew or what fail-safes I may have in place; she couldn’t hire someone to off me.
So, she did her next best option. She hired me to help keep her secret and help boost her own reputation. She made it clear she wanted me in arms reach, and that she would be using my own achievements to her benefits. This wouldn’t be a one sided relationship, she offered me her influence, invitations to the social elite, and a large enough sum of money to keep me quiet for a while. Of course I would never turn down an opportunity to be near a story, but even then I had some interest in Mythrite as a whole. Word doesn’t travel fast but the fall season of Mythrite had made its way around Waterdeep in no time. As such I was under the impression that while it may have been a Mythrite mine, it was a gold mine for journalists!
Upon coming to an understanding the tenseity left our bodies and we began to chat about more idle comings and going. I did treat it as a bit of a personal interview as regardless of secrecy Miss
Chia is a well known socialite in Mythrite and would make for a strong introductory expose as I try and get my papers read in the town. The night waned on and she told me all about Mythrite, about her current monopoly, and how she would be able to procure a house fitting my stature near the library. I had recounted some of his past mercenary tales; a number of close calls and great achievements. Till the dull roar of the fireplace had finally extinguished and the silence crept over them, they smiled at each other and I went and fetched her coat.
Walking Miss
Chia outside I finally realized how late it had gotten, the cold night air nipped at my skin as I led her to a carriage that had pulled up to the residency about an hour and a half ago. As I helped her into the carriage I couldn’t help but notice just how different we were; she lived in the height of luxury and to think she would come down and spend a day with me let alone enjoy a conversation over tea. It was beyond my imagination. As the scent of expensive perfume dissipated I was left with the thought. Though weirder encounters have happened and are still to happen as I chase down stories, this encounter, this one story is what set it all in motion. This is how
Biggs Morgans came to Mythrite.
The power positions and tone are what really sell this piece, particularly when it comes to understanding the mindset of the character. Starting the story with "My name is Biggs Morgans" and ending it with "... how Biggs Morgans came to Mythrite." was a excellent choice based on what the reader learns about the character. It is clear to the reader that this is a character who lives with himself at the center of his own world. The tone supports this considerably well too. Throughout the work the character's inner dialogue showed how he were to use the conversation and quest to further his own adventure. "As such I was under the impression that while it may have been a Mythrite mine, it was a gold mine for journalists!" Regarding what could be improved there are three major things that could be made better or add more to the piece. To start dialogue, Some simple dialogue between the two would let the readers get more absorbed into the piece. Right now it feels as though I am being told the story instead of living it, then again the fact that the reader is outright being told that is a story from the character works. Yet, it feels as though the conversation happened while learning the bare minimum of why Biggs was headed to Mythrite. Another thing that could be improved is the use of descriptors, there are moments of really good descriptions but there could be more. The good one is "I pull open the creaky wooden door of my cottage and allow her to walk inside, the smell of expensive perfume replaces the scent of chestnuts that once filled my home." The part of this that is relatively good is the use of the word chestnuts to describe the smell. It gives a warm and pleasant feeling to Biggs's home, yet in the same instance there are weaker descriptors "expensive perfume" and wooden. Using a expensive smell instead of just the word expensive would work better for the scene while giving character insight. Does Biggs hate it? How does he feel about this smell replacing the one of chestnuts? etc. Regarding the adjective of wooden, it is used throughout the piece to describe different objects. It would serve your piece well to say the type of wood, even if its a fantsical "red hoardian wood" it would make the scene more believable. The last thing that needs to look over is grammar, just a quick pass could have cough the undercase I in, "We both knew that i was getting close to the truth, but that even if I figured it out I would have nothing substantial to go off of."