The Warm Fires of Wine and Wealth

The Warm Fires of Wine and Wealth
By Darrick Yee
      An aroma filled the room with the warm smells of tart grapes, and a slightly sweet, but musky oak. As Baron opened his eyes he found himself in a massive room lit with the golden hues of candles and chandeliers hanging from the ceilings. The walls were made of earthly colored stones, and wooden shelves filled with wine ran down the great hall. At the end of the room was a golden tree which stood in the center of a polished stone bar. As Baron sat in a smooth wooden chair with a glass of richly colored wine, a voice cut through the silence. “Baron? How did you like Chateau Pape Clement” Asked Oryn. as he walked in from another room holding a bottle of wine.   “It was quite pleasant, the citrus and black fruit essence in this one is something special,” Baron says while swirling the wine glass.   “I can’t agree more, Well the other guests should arrive shortly. As I said before, they are quite prominent and powerful people here in Mythrite.” Says Oryn as he walks over to the bar and pours himself a glass of wine.   “Well, then it's best I make a good impression,” Baron says with a smile.   “By the way how are you liking that Degas I brought you” Baron asks while resting his class on the bar.   “Ah, It’s truly a marvelous piece. Please come and see for yourself” Oryn says while gesturing, and making his way to one of the rooms connected to the main hall.   Baron stood, and along with Oryn made his way to the first room on the left side of the great hall. The smaller room was presented with dark burgundy paint and golden trims laced the edges of each wall. On the first wall, hung a painting in an ornate golden frame of some dancers, and acrobats from what appears to be a circus. Upon reaching the painting Baron smiled. “It’s a thing of beauty, isn't it? the mastery of movement and detailed anatomy. His work just feels….alive.” Oryn said with his eyes sparkling in amazement.   “His work is something else for sure, the way it captures a story in a single frame, It connects you to that world,” said Baron   “Your world, it connects to your world doesn’t,” Oryn says looking gratefully at Baron   Baron smiles back and nods, “Yeah, you're introducing me into your world, and your life, the least I could do is get you a piece that I knew you would appreciate from mine,” says baron showing great respect.   Suddenly, another voice is heard from just outside the room, drawing Baron and Oryn’s attention.   An Elven butler appears in a finely tailored suit with one arm around his back and the other holding a cloth. “Master Oryn, it appears the other guests have arrived at the front gate,” said the butler.   “Let them in, and bring out the food and wines we discussed,” Oryn says to the butler before turning to Baron.   “Well let the show begin,” Oryn says to Baron.   Baron nods with a smile before watching Oryn leave the room.   As the guest arrived the art show got on the way. The great hall was filled with women and men in their luxurious gowns and vibrantly colored suits. The charming and soothing sounds of violins and lutes created an ambiance of class and wealth. Waiters made their rounds passing around golden plates of fine cheeses, bread, and wines. All the rooms filled with laughter and chatter as the night came to life. Baron, having made his way back to the middle of the great hallway, was observing a painting hung between two wine cellars when Oryn walked by with two guests.   Baron first noticed the woman with a dress so ornate, and beautiful he was at a loss for words. Her brown eyes and smile felt like they lit up the room, only to find equal to gorgeous golden laced patterns of her dress.   “Baron, I’d like to introduce you to Qai Chia, a valued friend of mine. When it comes to the trade and or politics, she’s the one to know.” Says Oryn   “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Baron, I’ve heard a great deal from Oryn,” Says Qai.   “The pleasure is mine, says Baron as he gives a nod of respect,” responds Baron. “and if I may say you look absolutely stunning in that dress tonight''   “And Sethey Sagesprinter, a member of the Lord’s Alliance” continued Oryn.   “It’s an honor to meet you. I have great respect for the Lord’s Alliance and to find someone with such elegance as well.” Baron complemented.   After some casual talking and some playful flirting. It was clear that Sethey, although polite and refined, wasn't very happy being there. She was shy, and serious in tone, but did focus on the conversation. That being said Baron could tell by her daydreaming eyes that she didn’t come willingly. Qai on the other hand could have talked with Baron for many hours more, but after a few minutes some other guests drew her attention, and Qai and Sethey excused themselves to go meet and greet.   People gathered in groups all throughout the floor. Some were around the paintings, while others gathered to socialize and chat. Baron after stopping briefly to refresh his drink, and grab a stick of finely cut cheeses and meats, made his way back to the room where the Degas was presented.   In the room, a few people slowly waltzed back and forth looking at each painting. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a woman in a sparkling red gown staring at a painting on the wall next to the Degas. Her light brown hair almost glowed gold in the light. The painting depicted a legendary duel between two knights of mastery in their arts. Baron confidently makes his way up to her as he stares at the painting.   “An art form in itself, dueling. Such that even through paint and brushstrokes it can tell a story” Baron states out loud.   “It’s the excitement and energy. The thrill of a crowd screaming your name and warming your blood. The challenge and nerves that fill your chest when you cross blades” the woman replays.   “Such a connection from canvas to soul, it must tell a story you know,” Baron says while smiling and turning to face the women.   “Baron Samael, it’s a pleasure to meet you..” Baron says before pausing for the women to fill in the space.   “Nai Puy,” She responded with a smile.   “So Ms. Puy, why is a beautiful and elegant woman like yourself, so entranced and experienced with a story like this?” Baron says with a playful smile.   Nai Puy, flattered by the compliment, smiles, and moves closer to an unwavering Baron.   “It’s a story I connect with having been a part of that world myself.” Nai Puy responds with a smile.   “A duelist? With great confidence, and looks amazing in her dress” Baron says playfully.   Nai laughs playfully at the comment   “So what about you? is your story of a duelist or a charmer?” Nai comments in a teasing way. “       Baron laughs softly, and turns his attention to the Degas, depicting the carnival scene on the wall. “That’s more like my story,” Baron says   Nai turns her attention to the scene and immediately breaks out into laughter.   “The carnival, were you the monkey trainer or the elephant rider” Nai mocked playfully,   “Oh, I was the monkey, doing little dances in funny little outfits” joked Baron.   Nai, at this point, was not even trying to be posh with her laugh. This drew the attention of a rather tall and muscularly built man, as he made his way through the crowd with drinks.   “ A carnie folk, with an interest in fine arts? No, What do you really do?” Nai asked   “I am psychic,” Baron says confidently.   “A psychic? As in reading my future, and talking to the dead” Nai laughs.   “It’s true. Are you curious to a reading” Baron says in a flirty way.   “Sure,” Nai says between laughs.   Baron reaches out for Nai's hand, and just as she is about to give it to him a man walks into the room with two glasses of champagne.   “Here you go babe,” he says while handing her a glass.   “Who's this?” he asked with a slightly serious look on his face.   “Oh Baron, this is my boyfriend Galdar Rougash” Nai says in a cheerful manner.   “Baron Samael, I’m a friend of Oryn’s….wait Captain Galdar Rougash?” Baron changes his hand to a handshake.   “Yes,” says Galdar with pride while shaking Baron’s hand.   “ I am very impressed with your safety precautions and truly grateful for you keeping everyone safe. You’re a man of justice, and honor and I respect that.” Baron says sternly.   Galdar after having his ego boosted was completely in his own head from the complements.   “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you both, and I do hope you both have a splendid time here at this gallery showing, please enjoy yourself, and have some more wine. The cabernet is fantastic here.” Baron says while smoothly making his way out of the room.   After leaving the room, Baron spent the rest of the time with other guests at the party. Having conversations with the likes of Tudhle Huvrelbi, Nimune Haste, and Bahpa-Maf Nazdi Indiff. As the night wound down, and the cold evening breeze blew through the moonlit sky. All the guests showed their gratitude and started to depart. Baron spent the end of the evening, chatting with Oryn, about the party, and the people in it over another bottle of Chateau Pape Clement.

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Mar 27, 2021 22:26

So the descriptions in the first couple paragraphs are on point, but it just kinda teeters out. Like I really would have liked to see more about what the individual characters were doing as they talk to each other and how you would describe it. Like more than "says between laughs", "says in a cheerful manner", or "says in a flirty way." have them walking around or something, like you do this pretty well with Galdar Rougash and it could be applied to more people. I feel like it could really bring your vignette to the next level. But, if you really don't have stuff for them to be doing while they talk, you don't have to add a Says, Asked, or something after every sentence when there's just two people.   is he a baron or is his name baron? Alright I'm gonna shoot a little straight with you here. This very much feels like the quetisental "Main character meets a bunch of all the most influential people in town all at once because he's the main character" like I get it's a high class party, but It's a veritable revolving door of the wealthiest or influential npcs in mythrite. The problem exists in that you aren't really giving them the time of day, like for the few moments that a vignette consists of you don't really have the time to be introduce the and then quickly switch to the next. A lot of the focus should stick to the same couple of characters, like you almost wrote two mini-vignettes here. One with Baron, Oryn, Sethey, and Qai Chia then another with Baron, Galdar, and Nai. Then at the end you mention a bunch of characters not even in this vignette? If you had instead just focused on one set of people I feel that this could have been pretty good vignette, but instead it just feels like an excuse to say you've talked to all these people. Like honestly, the people with the most dynamic interactions were Baron and Oryn. I'd love to see a vignette just featuring those two, or just flesh out the first mini-vignette.   I'm not really interested in reading a story that equates to Baron makes connections and flirts only though the subtext. Like don't tell us it's a "flirty way" show us through his actions. Picture them as actors on a stage, what directions do you give the characters so they aren't just standing there. You have clear evidence of good writing within your Vignette and interesting themes between some characters. But this doesn't write like a story it writes as someone trying to get something out of the game system.