What is friendship?
14th of Alturiak - Afternoon
Enigma. Vomul TruthSpeaker. A friendly dwarf with a penchant for questioning. Perhaps he is useful. Life has been lonely since I last wrote to you. No one talks to me, and they are worse off for it. Vomul saw me eating apart from the caravan over lunch and invited himself to tea. I like go-getters. Parents would say that this is a connection to mine, and I say no. He discovered background guard A is sleeping with the wife of a noble in Baldur's Gate. The bloke took this mission to throw off suspicion. I like that. 3 weeks of conversations with the guards turned up nothing worthy of blackmail, and he gets something in 1 day.
17th of Alturiak - Evening
Who is he? Hordes of bandits and monsters attacked today in waves. Pandemonium ensued. I receive treatment based on my station, and it doesn't go unnoticed by the dying mob of normies injured in the assault. Not my fault they don't have the money for better protection. Vomul passes through unscathed. I will ride with him for the leg.
20th of Alturiak - Evening
Coward. That is who I am. Attacked again by bandits. I am alone by the campfire, watching the rest bandage their wounds. Walking over to Adulterous Guard A, Vomul breaks the news. I walk over. Things are looking up. Leverage. Basic negotiation tactic.
"Promises made and promises kept," I say to Guard A. "We want to make sure everyone is comfortable in the caravan if, you know what I mean."
Pulling me aside, Vomul says, "that goes too far. This is something we were going to make public."
"Not yet. Knowing the proper time to publish maybe your wheelhouse, but knowing how the public will react is mine. Milk the most of this first."
Grumbling, both walk away. Next town is 10 days out. Best time to circulate scandals: 2 days out from town. Too long before, and they can work it out among the group. Get too close to town, and they escape the whispers. Maximum discomfort.
21st of Alturiak - Morning
That bitch. I told him to wait. He spread the news last night after I went to bed. I talked to him later about it. He responded by slapping me. I know he's going to Mythright to make a fortune but for what? I know I'm in the wrong. It was not my story to control, and I need to apologize. It's not fair to the adulterous guard. The secret was going to come out anyway. Drunk guards have loose lips. This way, he gets ahead of the news. As much as I hate my parents, I am their product. I really am as dumb as my last name suggests – Bebios, wood. I should just be a carpenter. Live my life alone. I can't face either of them. I acted all arrogant. I only thought of what I could gain even though I left to avoid that.
21st of Alturiak - Evening
Vomul came to see me. He apologizes but stands by his decision. He wants to know what hurt me so bad. It's not his fault. Power. Fame Wealth. All these and more available in the volatile environment of Mythright. Do over. That's what I want. I have news about the guard. I tell Vomul the conversation some of the other guards were having lunch while I mingled. Murder is planned. One of the guards is undercover for the Zhentarim and came to poison the guard. Exposing him saved his life. I tell Vomul something was wrong. I can't. Always in the shadows. Hovering. Flickering at the edge of my vision. I see them every night before bed - shadows of my past. Death is nothing new. Plots, intrigue, guile, all part, and parcel of noble life. Why is this different? I'm… I don't know. What is this feeling I have towards Vomul? I have been embarrassed before. I have been wrong before. Why is this different?
I'm back. There was a brief kerfuffle outside. Some guards tried to lynch adulterous guard A. Vomul vocally spoke up and defended him. What is right? I stepped in and broke it up. We all agreed to talk it out. De-escalation was my course of study back home. I fear this will only get worse before we get to the next town.
Snapped awake from my sleep. Glittering eyes glinting in the darkness alerted me. Death. Despair. Fight-or-flight. No escape. Am I a hunted beast? I see the eyes wherever I go. The eyes locked on to a new target. They are mom's eyes.
23rd of Alturiak - Morning
No sleep again. Vomul makes his rounds but still comes to sit by me. Why? I hate me. No one else looks my way. They only tolerate my interactions at the campfire. Vomul says everyone has been asking about my health the last few days. Says I'm looking ill. NO. Lies. No one would care if I disappeared. Parents made sure I knew that in this world, it's use or be used. I am a user. But… I left because I rejected that. I want… friends. After over a week of knowing me, Vomul still comes around to have meals. Maybe…
Firstly, The use of writing this as a journal entry makes every word feel personal, feel true to the character. Everything is deep, and meaningful without any explanation, simply because it comes straight from the character's mind. However, this also comes with a fair share of problems. The events of the story don't feel connected, they feel like sperate bits with thin strands keeping them together. There also weren't many quick inner thoughts, as everything that happened was after the fact since it was written as a journal entry. I believe that thinking in the moment would give a more visceral, and powerful response to the events described. You wouldn't be able to get to everything in here if that were the case, but the things that were in there would be able to be expanded on even more fully.