Within "Fort Nhaseeder"

The hunk of metal lay dented amongst the other scrap. Rahg looked at it for a long while with determination. It was far too heavy for his liking. There must be some way to alter the alloy he made… Maybe increasing the proportion of mythril and copper, decreasing the proportion of iron… But copper is too conductive, after all.

Puzzled, Rahg resolved to just play with the proportions until he found the right balance. It seemed that to sacrifice weight would make the heater too hot, if he wasn’t careful. He sighed at the thought of wasting so much metal and time figuring this out, but it was necessary at this point. The day ahead looked like a long process of melting various amounts of metal, hammering them, cooling them, and comparing their weight and conductivity.

The morning air was crisp, though Rahg would not know it; the air in his forge and shop was hot and stuffy after he built the mythril security barriers as the town descended into chaos. He did install a small window in the barriers, but they were small, and made in haste. Another project he’d have to work on later. Rahg mustered the motivation to work anyway. He was used to the heat, after all.

And so, his toils began. Measuring, melting, hammering, cooling, comparing. Each iteration took roughly twenty minutes, and overall it took half the day until he finally landed on the right proportions that had the weight and conductivity he wanted.

Invigorated, rather than tired, Rahg immediately made more of the alloy and set to hammering it, molding it, and shaping it. Day turned to night, and he finally had all the components individually smithed. The darkness outside didn’t make a difference inside his forge, as the fires inside were more than enough to light the room.

All that remained was some chiseling, polishing, and to finally put it all together. Rahg had a nice shelf he could do these final steps on. The rough wood had certainly seen better days, but it was flat and sturdy. One by one, he brought a component onto or held above the shelf, and chiseled away to get the right shapes and contours. The shavings collected slowly on the wood, occasionally needing to be brushed off into a bucket to save for later.

Then came the polishing. Rahg loved and hated this part the most. The end result was always pleasing to the eye, at least if the job was done well. But this step is also very easy to mess up. One could overgrind the metal, making its shape altered too much to be used. It also is the most repetitive part of smithing, and very time consuming.

He had a collection of grinding stones of various roughness for different levels of polish. Different sizes were also needed for the smaller components, and had to be done by hand. In any case, Rahg set to this task like all the ones before it. He knew the motions so well he could do them in his sleep. All it took was time grinding each component against the right stone until it was polished enough.

A fist hammered loudly against his mythril security door when Rahg was nearly done. Rahg set down the component he was polishing on the grinding wheel, and made his way to his storefront. The small window let in the lovely light of dawn, and Rahg took note of how long he’d been working.

“Closed. Working on something,” he said, approaching the small window.

“Oh, are ya now? Even for good friends?” the rough voice of Brem Boneslayer replied.

“Oh. Open for you, of course. What do you need today?”

“Oh nothin’, I jus’ wanned to see what ye’ve been up to in this new fort you built yourself!” Brem laughed.

Rahg smirked, and began undoing the many latches securing the mythril barrier shut. Once released, the massive slab of metal swung outward. Hot air rushed to the outside from behind Rahg, and his store immediately cooled as the morning autumn air filled its place.

“Come in. I’ll show you,” Rahg gestured towards his workshop behind the storefront.

“Barely seen ya since you built that thing,” Brem said. “Hells, I think it’s been since the festival I last saw ya! Say, you ever find that lass you were dancin’ with?”

Rahg’s heart fluttered, and if it wasn’t for the grime and sweat on his face, one would see him blushing. “Yes.”

“Ah, you big softy. Knew ya liked her! Who woulda thought the ‘Silent Smith’ himself would find a lovely lady!” Brem belted out a string of laughter.

“She is very lovely indeed,” Rahg said, smiling from ear to ear.

“So, what you been workin’ on in your newfound secrecy?”

“A new furnace,” Rahg stated, gesturing to the assortment of finished and unfinished components of his project. “Should be lighter. Heat better. I think I’ve got the design finalized.”

“Ain’t gonna heat much in that state,” Brem said. “How long ‘fore you put it together?”

“Could do it now. I was just polishing the metal when you came around. It’s only the first one, wouldn’t sell it like this but it would work just as well after polishing it.”

“Come on, lets put it together and see what’s what,” Brem said, moving toward the parts. “Stinks in here, how long you been here?”

“I want to finish it first,” Rahg deflected.

Brem scoffed. “Said yourself it’ll work just as well. Come on. Let’s see how it does. If it’s good, I’ll pay ya for it since it isn’t as finished as you’d like.”

Rahg grunted, and followed Brem to the components. The two began assembling all the various parts needed at Rahg’s direction. The process was much quicker than Rahg anticipated, and he worried he forgot some crucial part.

Nevertheless, the furnace stood sturdy on its own. Rahg was satisfied with how it turned out; every panel, bolt, and leg was near perfectly polished. Not enough to be reflective, but enough to be smooth on the touch and on the eyes, exactly as he needed. It came up to Rahg’s knees, so the size was good. Brem remarked that it was smaller than he expected, but Rahg assured him it was supposed to be smaller.

“I got my doubts, Nhaseeder, but let us see how it works,” Brem challenged.

Rahg hefted the whole thing up to his gut, much to the awe of Brem. The heater was heavy, to be sure, but not too heavy. Rahg nearly struggled on his own, but managed nonetheless. He set it down outside, and went back for charcoal. He put the charcoal in the chamber of the furnace, lit it with a flint and steel, and stepped back.

The smoke drifted out through a pipe rising from the back. Brem stood by eagerly watching the furnace. He grew impatient, and moved closer to feel the heat.

“Oh, that’s nice right there,” Brem noted.

“Wonder how it’d do inside a home,” Rahg said. He began to feel the heat emanating from a few yards away too. Impressive for being in open air, but he was worried it would be too hot indoors.

After a while, Brem returned to Rahg. “Tell ya what. I’ll take it. I don’t have a furnace yet for the winter, and this thing is real nice. Wasn’t too hot standing right next to it, and feels jus’ the same over here.”

Brem reached into his satchel to retrieve money. “You could make a killin’ off of these, you know. People will be desperate for heat, this winter is lookin’ to be brutal,” Brem paused for a moment. “You know, I’d actually like to fund this project of yours, on that note.”

“Not looking for profit,” Rahg said. “People need heat. Not gonna take advantage of that.”

“Even better!” Brem said. “People will be ordering these like ale at a festival, my friend. Many in Mythrite aren’t exactly well off, I expect you’ll be a savior to them. For a cut of the profits, I’ll help fund all of ‘em.”

Brem extended his hand. Rahg pondered for a bit, but couldn’t deny the heater seemed to be working very well. He could make a lot of them, but not enough on his own to help the whole of Mythrite.

“Sounds good,” he said, taking up Brem’s hand and giving it a firm shake. “So, what did you need me for?”

“Ah, jus’ makin’ sure you weren’t up to no good in that fort you built. Wouldn’t want you to make the same mistakes as me, see?” Brem explained.

“Never,” Rahg said, letting out a hearty laugh to the delight of Brem.


Comments

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Oct 22, 2020 23:06

Your introduction & first half of your vignette does a spectacular job at establishing Rahg as a character. We know he’s a smith, and a damn passionate one at that. You go into excellent detail with each step Rahg takes while forging, and cleanly and effectively lead us through them; very well done! That’s no easy task, and you skillfully accomplished it!   As much as I enjoyed the intro, due to the title, it sets up an expectation that the forging was just the intro and that there’s more to come. And because of that expectation, after about 3 paragraphs of the forging I started to get frustrated with just how there was of it, instead of being down for it. With the forging being more than half of your vignette and up to 600 words long paired with the expectation that there’s more to the story, it really drags on (kind of like this paragraph!).   I actually think that your title genuinely does some harm to your piece than good. By the end of your vignette, we never really get a clear idea just who or what “Nhaseeder” is. I know from the class that it’s Rahg’s last name, but the only time a fort is mentioned in your vignette is when Brem refers to the forge as Rahg’s fort. We only ever get Rahg’s first name in the story. Brem calls Rahg by “Nhaseeder” only once in the story, and it was really easy to miss or not acknowledge. I feel that if the title was instead like “A New Invention” or “Rahg’s Smithing Tutorial”, I would’ve known what I was getting into, and would’ve been way more down for the ride.   With the second half of your vignette too, I kind of get tonal whiplash. Which in a way, is kind of actually genuinely cool; It could’ve been kind of like Rahg was getting his head pulled out of his work and put back into reality, but I don’t feel that this was intended. Continuing on, I don’t really understand the conflict towards the later half, if there really even is one. I don’t understand Brem’s motivations at all. And is he a fellow blacksmith? Or a merchant? I genuinely have no clue. At the very end of the vignette where Brem says “Wouldn’t want you to make the same mistakes as me, see?”, I have absolutely not a single idea what that mistake is. I don’t know who the heck this guy is, and because of that, this line and the ending are just frustrating. The two are laughing it off as good buddies, but as the reader, I’m completely left out in the rain on this. I understand that this was meant to get Rahg to leave the forge and socialize, but I don’t know how so; I don’t know a thing about Brem.

Oct 29, 2020 17:43

You do a good job with going so in-depth with Rahg's work at the beginning of the piece. All of the small details bring us into Rahg's world and what his mind thinks of while working on something like this. However, it was kind of jarring the way the vignette is cut in half pretty much between a really detailed account of Rahg's work and strict dialogue between him and Brem. Brems sudden appearance narratively makes sense but it disrupts the flow of the writing somewhat, especially with the way you format it like this with really small paragraphs and spaces between all the dialogue lines with little to pad in between them to make the flow better.

Nov 1, 2020 14:58

The introduction does a marvelous job of establishing Rahg’s character. We know that he’s a smith with a lot of experience under his belt and it seems like you did a lot of research into smithing. The process that you outlined seems realistic, to the uninitiated at least.   My biggest issue with this vignette is that I have no understanding of who Brem is. He comes out of nowhere and their relationship is never explained. He needs characterization and his presence explained. The noodle incident that Brem mentions at the end is only frustrating to the reader. The title doesn’t convey what the vignette is about strongly either. ‘Fort’ to my understanding references his business, and I’m guessing that ‘Nhaseeder’ is Rahg’s last name though this latter bit is only a guess as it’s never given in the vignette.