The Dread Pirate Whaghafu

After the end of the masquared all kinds entities that were thought to be myths and legends came foreward. This put a damper on many human myths--as it also put a damper on the myths held by the creatures many humans considered to be myth. Such as the long held myth of the Lamia that Sirens will point north if you tie them up and hang them from a tree. Though many Lamia have not been convinced it is a myth, and hold onto as though it were the truth. Stating that if you are ever lost in the woods, to tie up a Siren and hang them from a tree--and that is where north is located.

One tale comes from the Wild Men of North America. The tale of the Sasquatch Dread Pirate, Whaghufu.

Now, at the time that the masquerade had came to an end, it was thought to be well known fact that Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominal Snowmen, etc, were not real. As there were less and less places in the world to explore... and with how awesome humans are--surely they'd have seen them. Well... turns out humans had--the Sasquatch had moved to urban centres where there was a greater amount of opportunity. Better access to food and various luxuries that any Sasquatch could ever want.

You've no doubt--prior to the end of the masquerade walked through the city and came across a large man who is no doubt quite very hairy. Might smell of beer and weed. Probably smells like good weed. Well, it turns out the Sasquatch are masters of camouflage and have figured out that by putting on similar clothing as humans and selling people really really good weed... nobody would ever suspect they are a Sasquatch. Just a really hairy weed dealer who has some odd choices in clothing.

The disguises worked so well--they did not even have to get the right clothing or just accurately have clothing on. Some would walk around town wearing a mumu with a full face of hair and marijuana leaves on their bags--and people would just let them be. At worst--would actively try to not acknowledge that they are there. As staring at them would be rude--and they are not super immature.

Some might be inclined to make a fuss... but they generally come across as really narrow minded people--and people that nobody wants to be like.

The fact that the Sasquatches general abilities to grow and handle plants that are only possible for beings whose main ancestors are Greater Fae and Neanderthals allowed for Sasquatch to have weed so good it could knock you on your ass.

This is why, to this very day, nobody knows if The Dread Pirate Whaghafu ever actually existed or not.

The tale of The Dread Pirate Whaghafu begins off the coast of British Columbia, Canada. When various ships that had been causing issues for the local Orca population started losing contact with port authorities. These boats would end up missing for a couple of days. The people on the boats listed in missing persons reports. Gang violence seemed to be on the rise for many cities on the West Coast of Canada and USA. The Police were generally not able to put it to a single gang--as while it looked like it was those gangs doin it... stuff was rather off.

This did not stop Police from making a large amount of arrests based on this. The only issue was the eye witnesses they had were parts of the gangs. Who kept mentioning a variation of the Jolly Rogers flag that instead of a skull, there was a marijuana leaf. The Police did not make public this flag image--mostly because they really did not want it to show up at 4/20 gatherings. Which they generally were against happening--but were powerless to do anything about. Not without some major upset--and stuff being really turbulence. The sort of work place turbulence that makes the after effects of a sports event bombing seem tame by comparison.

Talks of the "Mary Rogers", while not made public, eventually got to the CIA, CSIS, FBI and many other more national type organisations. Also the Highway State Troopers... for some reason. Even though it really was not their domain--somehow ended up have the most reports of Pirates with boats causing problems for motorists. Except the Pirates were always gone by the time they got there.

The Highway State Troopers just assumed this was people covering up large homosexual gathers--and would remind people that sodomy is now legal, that homosexuality is not considered a mental health issue--and that they are free to have the rest stop gay orgies, provided children did not see the gay sex piles. With the Highway State Troopers--in their documents had the "Mary Rogers" listed as some kind of weird slang of practicing homosexuals. This made for some really weird clerical issues and work when this started being made obviously an issue that the government needs to look more into.

The American Coast Guard, the British Navy and the Canadian Navy all ended up patrolling the shores of Western Canada--to try to stop more boats from going missing.

Remains of the boats were found--but usually it was stuff that could not be recycled, reuses or repurposed elsewhere... or something that would have fell off, if the boat was dismantled while still at sea. Some of the missing people were found, in bad neighbourhoods in various cities... with signs they were involved in some weird gang related crimes--as a member of the weird gang. These people also had a tendency to have a tattoo of the Mary Roger somewhere on them.

That tattoo of the Mary Roger WOULD cause them issues anytime the Highway State Troopers saw somebody with it... as they were doubling down and digging their heals in on the notion it was something related to gay people. They had decided they were going to stick to that explanation of the Mary Rogers--through hell and high water... they were holding the course of it being something homosexual related.

Over the course of the Navies and Coast Guards getting involved... several boats from them would go missing.

Then... people started talking on the Internet. They started talking of Captain Whaghafu. Most people with the mark of the Mary Roger were not inclined to talk about Captain Whaghafu. Mostly because they understood it as really ridiculous--and did not even know where to start talking about it.

You see... there was this Big Foot--who was wearing a Pirate Coat type thing... and had a Pirate hat on... and a duffle bag full of peg legs. Also had a plush Parrot on his shoulder. Would talk in his standard tongue--which was one of the Sasquatch Languages--but because of his psionic abilities, you knew what he was saying to you--even though it sounded somewhat mumbled.

Captain Whaghafu was tired of being just your run of the mill average Sasquatch Weed Dealer. That line was usually the one they had the most issues with stating before the masquerade. As the notion of an "run of the mill average Sasquatch doing a human career" was considered an oxymoron. The addition of drug usage being involved just muddied the waters even more so.

Captain Whaghafu decided he was going to take up high seas piracy. His crew would be people he stole--his ship would be made out of ships he stole--his treasure would be the cherished memories and experiences this outing would give him.

One day... Captain Whaghafu just stopped doing stuff. Just disappeared. The Jolly Mary only being a weird Tattoo that a fair amount of people had--for some reason.

The law authorities ended up releasing full information when an investigative television journalists started looking into gay rest station orgies--and the Highway State Troopers mentioned the homosexual fad of the Mary Rogers. The FBI, CIA and many other organisations--facepalming this reaction, put forward a complete detailed public statement of the gang violence and sea based larsony that the symbol was associated with. Mostly out of sheer annoyance with the Highway State Troopers insistence on sticking with it being something gay.

After the Masquarade Ended... the part about Captain Whaghafu being a Sasquatch--rather than just a hairy man ended up being okay for the public to know about.

Summary

Captain Whaghafu is a bored Sasquatch that one day decided to stop selling people the best weed ever, and start being a pirate on the open seas. Some law authorities misinterpreted this as being a LGBTQA+ type thing.

Historical Basis

There was a crime spree that happened off the West Coast of North America.

Spread

It was generally kept fairly contained--as the tales were fairly ridiculous for people to tell about what happened. The Weekly World News did publish articles about it--this was before they had became one of the main standards in journalism excellence, due to Rupert Murdoch owning all other newspaper chains.

The Highway State Troopers insistence it was something gay is pretty much the main reason it got big into the world.

Variations & Mutation

It jumped onto the internet after a while--and became one of them "dank may mays" them kids are doing these days.

Cultural Reception

It showed up in the weird areas of the Internet... but after the expose on Rest Stop Gay Orgies (several decades too late)--it ended up becoming part of both 4/20 and Talk Like a Pirate celebrations as a main stay. Having a fair amount of Talk Like a Pirate Day events becoming 4/20 friendly as a side effect... and no effect on the amount of Pirate themed stuff showing up at 4/20 gatherings.

In Literature

It became a joke on a few sitcoms

In Art

Captain Whaghafu appears in various "4/20 Blaze It" theme murals