The Magicae Tower of Dimilnen
The Magical Axis Mundi of Edrea
If it wasn't for The Castle of Lions, this would be the most important building in all of Edrea!
If it wasn't for The Castle of Lions, this would be the most important building in all of Edrea!— Dimi Hielchen
The big blue crystal in the spire of the tower gleamed above her, Zuree had heard of the old legends of the High Sorcerers and their magical tower but she had painted a completely different picture in her head than what was now in front of her. The building was notably old, some cracks here and there and not to mention the gigantic overgrown three and tattered Edrean flag that ran from a branch. It was still oddly beautiful, the golden ornaments shone in the sun and the purple of the roof hadn't faded.
In the bigger tower, the basement serves as storage as well.
The ground floor is where the kitchen and dining hall is located.
The first floor has study rooms perfect for students who need to concentrate.
The second, third and fourth floor has classrooms.
The fifth, sixth and seventh floor has sleeping quarters for those students who live in the tower.
The eighth floor is also used for storage purposes.
The ninth floor is the open area, it has a small sitting space for those who wander up there.
Lastly, there's the roof, with the giant crystal on the top.
Good article, overall. The writings flows nicely. But is the Tower supported only by the magic of the magicians? Or can it draw power from other sources? Also, what is there at the top of the Tower now that it is abandoned/in disrepair? Overall, good worldbuilding.
Thank you :D I wouldn't say the tower in itself has power, but rather those who were inside and used the building were the powerful ones :D And as of now the tower would be inhabited by wild animals and maybe one of the "monsters" in the world :3
Good article, but the bit about the High Order made me feel like I was reading an article within an article. Could just be me though, but over I thought this was pretty good.
Thank you for the feedback! I'll look into changing it a bit then :D
Nice article with a clear layout. The usage of images and quotes breaks it down into more manageable sections and make it seem more realistic. Good job!
Thank you so much Ava :3
Short comment because I'm short on time but I loooove this article! The art is so pretty, and the layout is on point! How did you manage to have the main article body be full width under the sidebar, by the way? «Materials were gathered paid for by the lord of Olcha»: I think there's something missing in this sentence. I guess an "and" between "gathered" and "paid". «they needed a better kitchen»: I love those sorcerers. They could develop a food magic or something :P «some meetings ended with screaming and flying books»: ah, yes, good old democracy! :D That was a fun bit. Also, I could help but think of our Dimitris each time I read "Dimi" xD Awesome article overall, congrats! :)
Thank you so much for the comment Ondo!! I'll go fix that and put in the "and" so it makes sense XD I just wrote most of my article in Footnotes and then the bit that fills all of it is written in Full Footnote (I think that's what it's called, under Design :3) And the Dimi character is the one for the other challenge xD
Oh, that's a nice rick. Hadn't thought of it! ^^
Hey there. I have to say, this article completely blew me away. The idea is brilliant, and the illustrations are great. I couldn’t really find any major elements to improve, so just a few small things instead. 1: It might be better to include some more specific dates, like when the shrines lost their power, or when the second tower and kitchen were built. 2: Has anyone tried to loot the tower? A huge crystal on top of a tower with gold and (big assumption that purple is of similar value in your world) sounds valuable, if somewhat difficult to take. 3: Maybe some more detail on the tower’s interior? Did students sleep in the tower, and if so, where were the dormitories and how big were they? Where were the classrooms? Toilets? Recreational rooms? I hope this helps, and again, amazing work on the article.
Thank you so much Evilhotdog (amazing name by the way, big fan xD) I'm so happy tou like the illustrations, they are my babies :P I'm so happy you like it! This is such great feedback and I'll make sure to go through it all :3
Overall, it's an excellent presence in the setting and an example of what wonder the world used to hold but no longer does. The art is really cool and I really like the tree-tower base/foundation and the art at the very bottom :D
The tower was a centre for all of the human magic users back in the day beforecentre = center
Dimi Hielchen was a man of many visionsI'm not sure why, but this sentence reads a bit strange to me: something like "a man of ambition" or "was a visionary" might read better? :)
He taught around 25 rather skilled Magicae, and together they built the Tower in a bit under 15 months.You mention before this that he decided to use his pupils help, but this reads more like he is teaching 25 new ones to help him build the tower. "he had taught" could solve it, maybe?
The original structure only consisted of the biggest tower but as time went on, the High Sorcerers agreed that they needed more space. Therefore, they built the lesser tower and that became the residence of the High sorcerers instead.Up until now, I thought there was only one tower. I might consider changing it only slightly, or swap the order: have architecture first, and the "High Order" header after that. :)
Dimi formed The High Order with his 4 best pupils and they all controlled the happenings in the tower together in a democratic manner, they held lots of successful votes, though some meetings ended with screaming and flying books.This is funny XD But you could probably split it into two parts! End it after "manner", let the rest stand on its own. Maybe change it slightly: "This method was very successful, though..." or something?
Whenever a High Sorcerer stepped back, the remaining four were tasked with finding a new member.What did they do if no suitable replacement was readily found? Were there any period where they were only 4 (or less)?
mixing of the ornamental styles as wellWhat ornamental styles are those? :)
the very obvious giant treeI'd avoid "very obvious" - if it's obvious, you don't need to tell us and "very" should can usually be replaced with something more evocative. Consider changing it for something else, a part of the prose with some more punch. "The arcane tree" or "enchanted" or something cool and awesome :) Now that magic is gone, has the enchantment on the tree failed? Will it start strangling the tower and bring it to ruin? Or is it the sole anchor of magic in the world still? All in all, really awesome! :D
Goooooodness Q, now I get that ominous "get ready" message XD Thank you so much for the feedback, I'll try and find some time to correct it all :D
Your art and the layout are gorgeous! And the content does make a lot of sense. I have one question about the last paragraph though: What is there left in the tower that a strolling teenager would be freaked out and might not even survive?
Thank you so much for the comment Kelban! I didn't realize I forgot to include the link to the creature that roams the area! It's this big lizard looking humanoid, not very friendly. I'll try and include that when I edit it tomorrow! :3
I dont really have much to say on the layout. It all looks good to me.bit flows well and reads easily. Nothing seems to be missing either :) your art is amazing by the by. I mean maybe more info people outside and how they view it?
Thank you for the comment Dylon! :3
this is an incredibly detailed article! I love the formatting in this article and this makes it very easy to read. Overall every section contains interesting information. The history of the tower was very intriguing to read and definitely captures the attention of a reader from the very beginning. A quote or two would however help very much in expanding a bit on this article The information under the impression section was my favourite tbh. Coupled with your beautiful artwork and writing skills, It really is an interesting section to read and all in all, this article very much deserves the love it has been getting from the community. Hope my comment was at least half decent. Congratulations and keep up the great work ninne!
There's a map now!!! Also great feedback but I have run out of words D. (only have around 50 left...)
I love the friendly feel of the art style and its consistency, great job.
Thank you so much :D
ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS MAP! ITS A MASTERPIECE INDEED!
Thank you so much Claw!!
I want to like this three times: once for the prose, once for the art, and once for the layered map. That map!!! This article goes above and beyond and reading it was enjoyable and instructive. Your use of map layers taught me more about how I can use World Anvil. Thank you!
Wow! Thank you so much Accalon that is very high praise, I feel very honoured :O I don't even know what to say this is possibly one of the sweetest comments I've ever gotten! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my article and to leave such a kind comment, it means a lot! :3
Well done Ninne! You did fantastic work with the layout, CSS, art and Map here. You followed the challenge to a tee, and pulled it off with flying colors. There were a few lines which didn't make much sense to me, such as the one regarding a kitchen being needed (not sure if this was a problem with the word count) Either way, fantastic art and work!
Thank you Barron :)
To all our Our Patrons for their unwavering love and support.
For the amazing images. His Titanship Christopher Dravus of Ironrise Games, Our Revered Deity Basic Dragon / Rin & His Majesty Caeora
Just a few friendly comments to push the article to the limits. 1. Magicae appears to be a plural word for magicians, but is again used in the title in place of what should be a possessive. Compare 'three carpenters fixed my fence' with 'a set of carpenters' tools'. If you're looking for a Latin word and a singular user is Magica, you may use 'magicarum' to mean 'of the magicians'. 2. Much of the Legacy component discusses its construction by Dimi Hierchen, and you repeatedly refer to him as Dimi. It might flow more like a history to refer to him by His surname 'Hierchen'. 3. Additionally, when I think of Legacy, I think more of the effects that the tower and school of magicae has had on Edrea than in the tower's history itself. You might do best to relabel this section. 4. I really like the way the structure has expanded over the years. You mention it both in text And its apparent in the illustration. Good job. 5. With the loss of magic, is there any effect on the tree? Did the Sorcerers manage to permanently avoid the tree's growth into the tower, or is it now starting to shatter the structure?
Thank you so much for the comment David! 1) I'll try and decide what would sounds better, thank you for bringing attention to this, I can see what you mean :D I've tried fixing the other things too :D 4) thank you! :3 5. Great question :D I think I'll go back and state that the spell has worn off over the years and the tree is slowly starting to grow between the stones and cause cracks :D
Having that tree crack through is kind of a pretty cool touch, and really makes it feel like 'Elvis Has Left the Building'. It would also make a pretty cool set of rumors, true or not, that a daring youth actually saw the tree getting pushed back! Magic's back, baby! Of course, an outrageous claim of the sort would be laughed at by most.
OOOoo!! Very nice ideas, I can definitely use this in my story :D Thank you so much for the long comment, it was great feedback!!