Kiana, Freed

Kiana storms from Jasper’s house. She can feel her blood pounding, a heat in her veins that is all too familiar. The edges of her vision are white, her fists are clenched, and she just wants to hit something.

She tries to take deep breaths, but instead, all she hears is Jaspers words, repeating in her head over and over, spiraling with her temper.

“Found his body a month ago… a month ago…”

She can barely hear Kura following behind her as she tries, desperately, to keep a hold of her temper. The last thing she needs to do is lose it in the middle of Dockside. But…

Gabriela had lied to her.

All those nights spent worrying, the days rushing towards a goal that she now realized had always been unattainable. The stress she had put herself under, thinking that if he was dead, it would be all her fault. It would be the proof that she wasn’t good enough; that her judgement was skewed. 

Instead, she found out that nothing, NOTHING she could have done would have helped; Mandala had been dead long before Kiana had even left Helgafell. There had never been a chance for her to save him, whether they went into the Void or not.

She can feel her stride lengthen, her breathing pick up, as these thoughts circle in her head, but she can’t stop. Kura’s talking, but she can barely hear him past the thoughts swirling in her head, and the angelic rage being held back by a thread.

Her whole life, the only thing she had fought Gabriela on was Kura. Gabriela said to train ten hours of the day? She trained. Gabriela said there was no time for socializing, that studying was the priority, then Kiana studied. Her whole life had been dictated by Gabriela and the church, because she trusted that they knew best; that they wouldn’t lead her astray.

What we believe in, indeed.

No - instead, she finds that her guardian had purposefully mislead her; had so thoroughly cowed her, she had nightmares of finding the body of a man she didn’t even know. And for what?! To make a point?!

As she finally turns to speak with Kura, Kiana decides enough is enough. She was going to trust her own judgement from now on; she was going to live her life as she deemed fit. Yes, she had taken vows, and she would keep them; deep down, she knew that she believed that she was, at least on some level, meant to protect people. Something about that felt right.

But she wasn’t going to let Gabriela bully her into a way of life that was barely living anymore. She would make her own decisions, her own mistakes, and she would live with the consequences, without the fear of some angelic being breathing down her neck.

As though sensing her new resolve, Kura suggests she go to lunch with Victoria, and she accepts, despite his teasing. Although the mere thought of the woman is enough to bring a blush to her cheeks, Kiana has decided that this wasn’t a chance she wanted to let slip by, inexperience be damned.

She was going to live her life for her, now.