It's Not Fair

Life, Identity

Fendir tells Kastella that he and Sasha had sex.

Fendir walked over to Kastella's room to tell her about last night. He and Sasha had had sex and he was rather excited to tell Kastella about it. He had been wanting to have sex for a while now but had always been a bit nervous about it. Luckily he and Sasha had been pretty tipsy last night and it naturally just sort of happened. He thought Sasha was quite good at it. But then again Fendir didn't really have a point of reference. He knew Kastella hadn't had sex yet and Fendir found the idea of being with her intoxicating but also a bit nerve wracking. They were best friends which seemed like all the more reason to do it with her to Fendir. They had never really talked about that sort of thing. They were affectionate with each other sometimes. To the point where Fendir had almost kissed her on more than one occasion but his nerves always got the better of him. He felt more confident now, after being with Sasha and getting it over with. He knocked on Kastella's door and then checked the time. It was already eleven, Fendir assumed she'd have been up for hours at this point. After a few moments Kastella opened the door and looked at him groggily, clearly having just woken up. Fendir sighed, "Sorry, I thought you'd be up by now." Kastella checked the time, "Oh. I guess it is pretty late huh? I guess I'm used to you waking me up at the crack of dawn." She smiled at him teasingly. Fendir smiled, "I wanted to talk, can I come in?" Kastella nodded and opened the door for Fendir. Fendir walked in. Kastella's room was always so warm and cozy. Unlike his parents, she always had a fire going and multiple candles. Her king size bed was piled high with fluffy furs and blankets and her floor was covered in fur rugs. Kastella was still in her smock and she walked over to her wardrobe and wrapped a fur robe around herself as Fendir hopped up on her bed. He liked beds. He didn't ever need one but he enjoyed the coziness of them, especially Kastella's. He wrapped himself in one of the blankets as Kastella walked over and joined him. "What's up?" Kastella asked him as she got comfy a few inches away from Fendir. He felt overwhelmed with the desire to touch her as they sat together on the bed in the dim light of the fire. He hoped she felt the same way. "Guess what!" He said excitedly. "What?" Kastella asked excited. "Sasha and I had sex last night!" He whispered to her, giggling. He watched as Kastella's face flushed and grew uncomfortable. "Oh." She said, sounding upset. "It was quite fun. It wasn't as awkward as I feared it would be and I feel much better just having done it now. Boobs are really fun even though Sasha's are fairly small. We even did some butt stuff, which was honestly pretty enjoyable." Fendir kept speaking in an attempt to avoid any awkwardness. Kastella just sat there and avoided his eyes. Her tail had curled tightly around her crossed legs and Fendir realized she was feeling defensive. "Is...is everything okay?" He asked, worried he had upset her. "Everything's fine. I just...I didn't know you and Sasha were...together...is all." She said sadly. "Oh, well, we're not really." Fendir said confused by her behavior, "We just got a little tipsy last night and it just sort of happened. We aren't...together." Kastella still looked upset, "What do you mean you're not together? Isn't that what having sex is for?" She asked him judgmentally. "Well, I don't know. I guess. But my parents told me it's healthy to have sex and to discover what sorts of things I like or don't like. Just so long as it's consensual. Sasha and I talked about doing it again later and maybe seeing if Pyotr wanted to join us. You could too if you'd like." Fendir suggested. "Ew. Absolutely not." Kastella said disgustedly. "Well what if we had sex? Just us. Now even..." He suggested. Kastella's cheeks were as red as her hair and Fendir saw her bright blue eyes had tears in them. He felt guilt overcome him for making her upset. She wasn't supposed to respond this way. He reached out his hand and caressed her arm. Kastella jerked away from him and Fendir felt his fingers burn a little from touching her skin. He pulled back nervously and felt tears come into his own eyes. "I'm sorry." Kastella said quietly, "I...I just...no." She said finally meeting Fendir's eyes. "Did I say something? I didn't mean to offend you. We don't have to have sex. I...I don't want to pressure you into anything. I...I just thought I'd ask." He said trying to fix his mistake. Kastella's tail tightened around her, "I don't think it's a good idea Fendir." She said looking away, "Maybe you should go." She said sadly. Fendir felt his heart break at making his friend upset. "Stella...I..." He didn't know what to say. He didn't know why she was upset. "Please go Fen. I want to be alone right now." She said, still avoiding his eyes. Fendir slowly climbed off of her bed and removed the blanket he had wrapped around him. He tried to see her face but her hair made it impossible. He slowly walked to her door and turned back to her, "I'm so sorry if I did something wrong." He said sadly. She didn't respond but Fendir thought he heard her sniffle. He felt his heart break again as he closed the door behind him. He was scared. He had never seen Kastella like that. He had been so excited to tell her about this new part of his life and he had ruined it. He went up to his parents room and sighed with relief when he saw his mom was there alone. He didn't really want to talk to his father about this. Natalya was sitting at their table writing and she looked up at Fendir when she saw him enter. He had a couple of tears on his cheeks and Natalya stood and walked up to him, concerned. "What's wrong, Fen?" She asked as she hugged him. Fendir hugged her back and they sat down at the table together. Kotsik was sitting on the table and he walked over and rubbed Fendir's hand until Fendir started petting him. "I...Well..." He sighed, trying to collect his thoughts, "Last night after dinner, Sasha and I had sex for the first time. Which was quite nice and well...I was excited. So this morning I went to tell Stella but...but I must have said something wrong or something because she got really upset. Even when I asked if we could have sex together. I touched her arm at one point and she burned me and she told me to leave and I...I don't know what I did wrong." He said frustrated. Natalya sighed and put her head in her hands. Fendir worried he had done something to upset her now too. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, genuinely fearful he was ruining everyone's lives around him. "No." Natalya said sadly reaching to take his hand. "No Fen. Relationships are complicated." She said softly, trying to decide how to handle this. "Well, I'm not really in a relationship with Sasha...or Stella. I tried to tell Stella that but that made things worse somehow." He said with frustration. "But you are in relationships with them. Maybe not romantic ones, but they're still relationships Fen. Even friends have to work through things sometimes. Kastella..." Natalya struggled to find the right words, "Other races sometimes look at sex differently than elves do. It's not a bad thing, it's just different. Kastella probably feels like sex is something that's meant for two people who...love each other or have decided to commit to one another. You probably don't view it that way and that's okay. You're still young and you have plenty of years ahead of you before you need to commit to someone like that." Natalya sighed sadly and squeezed Fendir's hand, "Kastella doesn't. Her sister was already engaged when she was this young and Kastella probably just wants to find her person." Natalya said carefully. Fendir was frustrated. It wasn't fair. He didn't want Kastella to get married and to settle down and start a family. He wanted them to stay friends and to continue going on adventures around Flottenheim together. He wanted to make love to her and to have fun. If Kastella got married that would ruin everything. "It's not fair." He said pouting. Natalya sighed at her son, "No...It's not." She looked down and took a deep breath. "You know uncle Dimitri?" She asked him. Fendir nodded thinking about the old half-elf who was essentially part of the family. He had taught Fendir lots of cool tricks from his time in the KAV, much to his father's disapproval. Natalya squeezed Fendir's hand, "Back when I was in the KAV, before I met your father or had come to Flottenheim, Dimitri and I were...together...for over...seventy years." Natalya smiled sadly, "It was hard when he started...aging." Fendir felt his heart drop as he realized why his mother was telling him this. He wanted her to stop. To tell him everything would be fine and Kastella would come around after a few hours. "It was one of the reasons he pulled away from me and encouraged me to be with Fenneck instead." Fendir was upset now. He didn't like this version of his parents' love story. "Stop." He told his mother, who frowned and sighed at her son. "Fen." She said softly. "No, I don't want to hear about this." He stood up and walked toward her door. Natalya sighed as Fendir left and closed the door behind him. He went downstairs and went to his room. He drew a warm bath and lowered himself into the water and tried to push his frustrations away. He cried a bit when he thought about what Kastella had told him. He hoped he hadn't ruined their friendship. A few hours later Fendir found himself on his bed mat braiding his hair and studying some Sylvan texts. He heard a knock on his door which he recognized as his fathers. "Come in!" Fendir said. Fenneck walked in and closed the door behind him. "Mum told you I assume?" Fendir said grumpily. Fenneck chuckled and sat down next to his son, "She did. You okay?" He asked. Fendir shrugged half-heartedly. Fenneck took the braid Fendir was working on and started doing it himself. "What happened with Sasha last night?" Fenneck asked, trying to catch up. "Well after dinner I went to her room and we played a game of dragonchess and..." Fendir smiled thinking about it, "Well we got a little overly competitive and we kind of started messing around and then...we just..." He felt his ears turning red. "Was it fun?" Fenneck asked casually. "It was. It was exciting. Sasha's quite beautiful. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it might be." Fenneck continued braiding his son's hair as they talked, "Good. She is quite cute, I'm glad it went well." "When did you have sex for the first time?" Fendir asked him. "Oh, I was a little younger than you. I was hanging out with my friends Alexei and Erikur in my room one night and we...just started trying stuff." Fenneck laughed at the memory. "Wait, like Alexei from the bar?" Fendir asked him. Fenneck nodded, "Yup. He's pretty handsome isn't he?" Fendir nodded, "He is. He's funny and he makes awesome drinks." "He does indeed." Fenneck agreed. "Who's Erikur?" Fendir asked. Fenneck sighed, "He was my best friend for most of my life. He died after the revolution though. He was a bard, with long ash blonde hair and green eyes. He was a good man. He would have liked you." "So you had sex with your best friend and it wasn't weird?" Fendir asked him, feeling hopeful. Fenneck paused for a moment, "Yes...but...he was an elf like me. He was the same age as I was too." Fendir sighed sadly, "I made Kastella upset." He said. Fenneck nodded, "I know. It's not your fault. It's...hard...having friends who don't think about things the same way. I think you and Kastella make great friends but some things might be left better if you set some boundaries with certain things. Like sex." Fendir sighed, "I just thought it would be really wonderful to have sex with her. She's so beautiful and she's been so affectionate before today. We've almost kissed each other many times so I thought it would make sense." Fenneck sighed, "I know, but I think you should try not to pressure her. She said she doesn't want to. That means that door is closed unless she decides to open it later on. That's her decision. Not yours. She's at a different point in her life than you and if you really want to keep her friendship, which I think you should, you should both agree to some boundaries. If she doesn't want you touching her, you need to respect that." Fenneck was stern but Fendir knew he was right. Fendir knew that his friendship with Kastella was more important. Fenneck continued, "I think it's great that you're having sex. I just want you to be careful. It's easy for young elves not to get caught up in emotions when it comes to sex but...other races and even some elves take the emotions of it very seriously. I don't want you to accidently hurt someone else in the process." Fendir nodded and leaned back into his fathers arms. Fenneck squeezed him tightly. "Give Kastella some time okay? Don't rush her through her emotions. She cares a great deal for you and your relationship and this is a new variable that you both will need to learn to deal with." Fenneck kissed his son's head. Fendir sighed and hugged his father back.