Nioyaathep Marriage Ceremony

"The dinner table is where all family politics are began, but the bedroom is where they are decided. Pick up your anklets and move, girl. If your feet begin to bleed and he is still playing, then write your convictions in crimson out on that floor."

- High Priestess Amanahsta, advice to her daughter on the night of her marriage.

A Contest of Strength and Desire

Of all the traditions throughout the world, few are as auspicious as the marriage ceremony that the Dahlen of Nioyaathep. The ceremony itself is conducted by a Priestess of Sturn or Dahlia for noble families, or by the matriarch of the bride's for the lesser families. In the case of same-sex marriages, the roles of bride and groom are typically assigned to the family that is in a higher social position being associated with the bride. The bride and groom will be led into a meeting of the families in front of the priestess or residing matriarch and begin deliberating and arbitration on the first matters they will deal with as a married couple.
Arbitration includes the issues typical of a new marriage; where their first home will be located, what each one brings to the table in their marriage, and what their goals for the future are. In addition, both families bring forth any pre-existing issues they might have with one another. General grievances, poor business dealings, past rumors and debts, blood feuds, and more are all settled. Marriage is seen as the chance for a new beginning and each family will be dishonored and shamed for not providing this chance to the new couple if they do not settle their issues during the ceremony. This often results in plain forgiveness or exchanges of money and property, but it is not unheard of for duels and bloodshed to occur for issues to be resolved and the marriage to continue.
Only after all issues between the families have been settled and the bride and groom officially offered to one another can the ceremony commence formally. Invited guests are welcomed into a large hall where they can witness the two individuals being wed. The official running the ceremony has the two pledge themselves to one another before Sturn and Dahlia to honor each other with truth and love as well as offering Mortair thanks for a successful marriage. Afterwards, the center of the hall is cleared for the two to begin the next and most infamous phase of the marriage ceremony; the drumming dance to decide who 'rules the bedroom'.
Traditional roles of the bride and groom aside, 'ruling the bedroom' in Dahlen society is treated as much more than an affirmation of their sex life. The bedroom is seen as the ultimate venue where decisions are made by married couples. How many kids are to be had, when they will be had, what they will pursue, and nearly every argument to be had and how they will be settled. It is commonly believed that any argument between a married couple, whether instigated in public or in the private of their home, will be settled in the bedroom.
The drumming dance itself is a competition between the bride and groom. The bride will be equipped with a set of heavy anklets and the groom with a set of weighted drumsticks. While the groom plays a traditional dancing beat on a pair of large drums, the wife will begin to dance throughout the room with their public guests witnessing them. Men in the audience will ask the bride to dance with them and let them support her while women will try to get the groom to set down the sticks and join them for drink and relaxation throughout the endeavor. Both sides are to say no to every opportunity in a gesture to assure their partner that they will not fall into the temptation of others or the easy way out of their struggles.
Dancing and drumming will continue until one of the two succumb to their fatigue and either fall or resign with bleeding or broken feet and wrists a common occurrence. Resignation due to falling unconscious is seen as the most honorable way to lose as it proves they gave it every bit of their being and are treated with honor. One partner passing out during the drumming dance is seen as a sign of a long-lasting and successful marriage. The one left standing is naturally the one who will 'rule the bedroom' throughout their marriage and is treated with great favor. Both bride and groom will stay with the family of the victor while they recover from the ceremony and begin moving to their marital home to start their new life together.
This ritual has been ingrained into their culture for over one thousand years and, despite small changes in style from town to town, remains regular practice in all major cities throughout the desert nation. Dahlen that have spread out from their home country continue its practice albeit on a smaller scale. Although they often can not drag a priestess or a matriarch out to the foreign nation they now call home, they still find it vital to conduct the drumming dance with an audience of their friends and associates.

Marriage in the Matriarchy

After the broken-up settlements of Nioyaathep were finally reunited by the founding of Bakison and the installment of the High Priestesses, the nation was ruled under a female-led theocracy. This has developed into a full matriarchy where females are seen as superior to the males in society.
As such, it is believed that the bride, assumed to be female, is meant to be the one to rule the household. This includes the bedroom as is decided through the drumming dance of their marriage ceremony.
It is a commonly known secret that this ritual has long been weighed in the favor of the bride. The anklets that the brides wear are still weighted, but often only around two pounds. The sticks wielded by the grooms are said to weigh anywhere from seven to even twelve pounds, depending on how badly the conducting official wishes for the groom to lose.
This has resulted in nearly every drumming dance of the modern day being won by the bride. Although the grooms still do occasionally win through sheer strength and will, this is often looked down upon and said to bring shame to their new bride.

Disrupting all Designs

Dahmra Menes, current High Priestess of Bakison, has made a name for herself beyond her role as leader of the Dahlen nation as one who has defied the traditions of her people.
She has denied the blinding ceremony of High Priestess inductees, spared Ehlen trespassers, and made deals with the rogue Shasreel of the desert.
One notable moment in her dramatic tenure was her marriage to the now-deceased Amnath Menes. During their ceremony, she specifically demanded to play the role of groom during the drumming dance. This was seen as an idiotic move as the odds were clearly disfavorable to the groom and her actions were seen as disrespectful to the goddess Mortair who invented this ritual.
Despite taking up the disproportionately heavy sticks, Dahmra's unnatural strength and magicks led her to victory in the drumming dance. Many treated this as proof of her overwhelming power not only in the relationship with her husband but with her seat at the head of the nation as well.
Many other Dahlen brides have attempted this challenge now, but few have succeeded in her wake.