The Seventy Maxims of Tarian

The Seventy Maxims of Tarian, commonly referred to as SMMEM^{(Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries)} is a popular handbook among members of the Pacificatores who receive it during their training. The maxims were written by Saherim Tarian during his early days of the The Pax Venatores, and despite their humorous tone, they provide the conscripts with basic understanding of how the organization works and what is expected of them.

Historical Details

History

As the Pax Venatores grew, Tarian became less and less involved in the direct command of his rank and file, relying on officers to teach their troops his tactics. While this proved doable, the lack of consistency in training method and leadership skills between the officers proved to become a great challenge.
The officers requested Tarian to provide them with some written guidance to help bring everyone into the save level. Tarian was angry his officers showed no talent in teaching, and ended up writing two different sets of his discipline by himself. The first was a tactics textbook to be distributed among the officers and brass. It detailed his strategies and tactics in separate volumes and gave each officer only the volume that was relevant to them.
The second set of instructions was a small booklet containing 70 truths or maxims of being a mercenary. Being known to hate formalities, and knowing his troop general attitude, Tarian written it in a very lighthearted tone. The booklet was to be passed around the new recruits but the officers feared it will incite dissidence in the ranks and that the troops will dismiss it as a joke. Tarian responded with a threat that every officer who's company could not recite the entire thing by the next moon will be relived. Non of the officers have lost their command and to this day at least one copy is carried by every Pacificatores company operating under the The Office of Martial Affairs or in the field.
There where many attempts to change the booklet writing into a much more 'appropriate' style. All attempts have met fierce resistance both from the rank and file and the top brass of the organization as Tarian last wish was that it will never be removed or changed in any way.

Current Date: 2^nd of Latsum, 1572

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The Seventy Maxims of Tarian

In my travels and battles I have commanded many fine, and less fine men and women. I can say with pride that I have seen success in face of great adversaries, despite having to resort to low-lives like myself in the heat of combat. Now, as our numbers grow, I have been urged to put my tactics and strategies into writing. Your officers can probably answer most of your questions, but here is what I consider the core of our merry operation.

1. Pillage, then burn.
2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
3. A dwarven explosive expert at a dead run outranks everybody.
4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.
5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
7. If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fireballs.
8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of a boarding board.
9. Never turn your back on an enemy.
10. Sometimes the only way out is through.
11. Everything is teleportable at least once.
12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, smack it in the head.
13. Do unto others.
14. "Mad Magic" and "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
15. Only you can prevent friendly fire.
16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.
17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.
18. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.
19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.
20. If you're not willing to shell your own position with fireballs, you're not willing to win.
21. To die with a sword in hand is a waste of a good sword. Pass it before you pass, your allies need it more than you now.
22. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong.
23. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart
24. That which does not kill you, either don't wish to, or going to try again.
25. If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage.
26. "Fire and Forget" is fine, provided you never actually forget.
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
28. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you.
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
31. Only cheaters prosper.
32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.
33. If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger fireball.
35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I'm out of arrows.'
38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.
39. There is a difference between spare parts and extra parts.
40. Not all good news is enemy action.
41. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.”
42. "They'll never expect this" means "I want to try something stupid."
43. If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.
44. If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool.
45. The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.
46. Don’t try to save money by conserving ammunition.
47. Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.
48. If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry.
49. Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target and every target is one delayed paycheck away from becoming a client.
50. If it only works in exactly the way the manufacturer intended, it is defective.
51. Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.
52. The army you've got is never the army you want.
53. The intel you've got is never the intel you want.
54. The best way to win a one-on-one fight is to be the third to arrive.
55. It's only too many weapons if they're pointing in the wrong direction.
56. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real powers.
57. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see.
58. The pen is mightiest when it writes orders for more swords.
59. "Two wrongs is probably not going to be enough."
60. Any weapon's rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.
61. Don't bring gnomish grenades into small rooms.
62. Anything labeled "This end toward enemy" is dangerous at both ends.
63. The brass knows how to do it by knowing who can do it.
64. An ounce of archer is worth a pound of infantry.
65. After the toss, be the one with the pin, not the one with the grenade.
66. Necessity is the mother of deception.
67. If you can't carry cash, carry a weapon.
68. Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.
69. Sometimes rank is a function of firepower.
70. Failure is not an option - it is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.

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Type

Guide, How-to

Medium

Paper

Authors

• Saherim Tarian

Signatories (Characters)

• Saherim Tarian

Signatories (Organizations)

• The Pax Venatores