Confessions Never Sent #1

(But Still Unknowingly Received)

The Letter

Lady Calypso,
I have finally reached my point, the straw on my back too heavy for me to carry. Despite the risks, I am too desperate to get this out. It has been on my mind for far too long, been crushing me and toying with me and I cannot keep it internalized.
I love you. Well, I suppose you know that already. We have been friends for many years now, I've had the honor of being your best friend for more than I deserve, and you are so clearly mine. I would have failed you immensely if you did not know I loved you.
To clarify... I am in love with you. I am uncertain where the platonic affection turned into a desire for more, for touches that linger and words with depth and lightness and vulnerability even deeper than what we already know. It is greedy of me, to have so much of you and crave more, but I am already damned for many other transgressions; this greed is not new, if still heavy. It carries another sin, but I must dedicate this first letter to you. This dam is as broken as I, I am sure this will be the first of many unsent letters.
You have always been a weakness of mine. I used to be a harsh man, caring to a degree but never a deep connection. All connections before you were a puddle, and you immediately drew me into depths of an ocean I had never known, shared parts of me I hardly recognized and you proved yourself capable of handling my darkness. Your light is incomparable, incomprehensible even as you foster it on days you say you feel dim, but still glow brighter than a thousand suns. I am unsure how you do it, but my admiration for you knows no bounds.
I am out of coherency and ability to consolidate my feelings into parseable writings at this time, so shall call this letter finished. I need to find a safe place to store this still...no matter. I must be off.
Calypso Fiyere, you are the light of my life and the star of my night. I pray you never read this.
Sincerely,
Taylor Ieram

The Discovery

To her credit, Lady Calypso Fiyere knew she was snooping. She knew from his behavior it was likely he was hiding something from her, but it wasn't serious enough to not snoop (so she assures herself). She fully knew the consequences of her actions would likely not be good ones, but she just had to make sure he was ok and he's been lying to her so she needed to know why and assure him it wasn't worth lying to her about. They're best friends after all, nothing needs to be kept from each other.
But gods she didn't know it was this. I mean, she had hope early on but it was pretty clear he was into more masculine people (which she can do "masculine" occasionally but it's not her), but this clearly contradicted that whole concept she once considered fact.
Gods, there's a whole box of them, stuffed to the brim. She reaches instinctively to the next wax-sealed envelope but freezes, reigning herself back in when she sees her wedding ring. She has to talk to Xaiter. She needs to talk to Taylor.

Type

Text, Letter

Medium

Paper

Authoring Date

Heartil 6, 363

Authors

• Taylor Ieram