Are you a morning person, or more of a night owl?
Nightlife’s where it’s at, man. I’m not used to getting out of bed without somebody kicking me.
What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?
Do they look angry? If they look angry I prolly said something wrong to them while high.
You see a huge spider in your room, what do you do?
It’s all good. Plenty of room to go around, bug. We’re all just tryna get by.
If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?
…aw man. The gnolls. They were a bad decision. I’m sorry, Drew.
Tell me about your first kiss.
Hell yeah, man. Alley Jackson was the hottest cat at the orphanage. We were in timeout together after I bit the girl that stole my beanie and he’d been caught smoking catnip. I got free hits from him for like eight months.
Do you give people second chances?
Man, it’s all good. I don’t have time to count chances in the first place. Sounds like a lot to remember.
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Mm, pretty sure I know this one, but could be a trick question.
Do you think you’re attractive?
Nah but I got a great personality and I know what I’m doing.
What’s your worst habit?
Probably the nip, to be fair. And not holding down a job.
When was the last time you cried?
I miss Drew, man. I’ve not been keeping track.
Are you a good liar?
What are you, a cop?
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
People that throw garbage on the street without looking. Some people are trying to sleep down there.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Maybe we’re all just one heart, broken into lots of little bits. You ever think of that? I didn’t until just now.
Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?
I’m a soft-spoken kitty-cat, but kitten’s got claws.
What’s something you’re naturally good at?
I think I might be a natural empath, but only when I’m stoned.
What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?
I am a pro at laying low, but it took a lot of knocks to get there.
Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?
If I flirt at them and they don’t throw something at me, that’s a pretty good sign.
Do you think money can buy happiness?
You’re asking the wrong cat, man, I don’t know shit about money.
Do you believe in destiny?
It’s all connected, man. Everyone’s a thread in a tapestry. You just gotta broaden your mind before you can see the pattern.
Are you a good cook?
I mean I can bake, hehe.
What do you think happens after you die?
That’s the great mystery, isn’t it? You transcend the known and ascend from the physical to the untethered spiritual, out of the veil that everyone who’s gone before had to get out of to learn the truth and never got back in to spread it. A lot of people say there’s like a Great Togetherness out there that works like a Garden Beyond the Stars, where everyone grows in a whole harmonious ecosystem. I hope they grow catnip.
Did you have to grow up fast?
Ah, yeah. Gotta hit the ground running when you’re an orphan on the streets.
Who do you look up to?
Always seemed like Drew had life figured out, but… ah, that never ended well. There’s a real cool cat at my new job, though. Scary cool, but cool. Her name’s Kitty. She smokes but only in moderation.
When you go to a tavern, what do you order?
When I can afford it, rum and milk. Other times, just milk.
What do you like most about yourself?
I’m an easygoing girl. Low-maintenance, you know? In tune with my inner tranquilility.
What do you like least about yourself?
Technically I did get my best friend killed, so, that’s not great.
Do you want kids someday?
Feel like I’d probably just lose ‘em. I bet I’d make a cool aunt, though, if only I had any family.
Are you a planner or more spontaneous?
We’re all just flowers in the garden of the gods, man. Planning is just trying to impose an imperfect order over the energies of free will.
Can you keep a secret?
If you pay me.
Do you like being the centre of attention?
Nah, people tend to scream at me.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
Ooh. Meditate. Clear out all the energies I don’t wanna take into the Beyond.
Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
I only had one set of clothes for most of my life. But my new boss buddy took me to some thrift shops and now I got all kinds of sweet looks.
Where do you feel safe?
Ah, safety’s an illusion anyway. I just don’t think about it.
Do you love or hate being alone?
It’s aight.
What’s the last nightmare you remember having?
I managed to steal a bunch of new drugs from a guy in the Morpheus Pleasuredome and the other night I took what I thought was all one dose and I might have guessed wrong because I woke up after sixteen hours. Anyway, I briefly had one nightmare with a vast tangle of dark roots bigger than the desert that cracked open and released untold darkness across the world like an insatiable growing tangle of blistering and unforgiving weeds, and one with a swollen shining apple at the crown of a golden tree that pulsed and thickened and drained the life from its tree until the shrivelled bark cracked and sparked and burned up like lightning, and one with a hollow, eyeless, limbless shell of a person trapped on the top of an impossibly tall tower that was flaking away to nothing while faceless women shrouded in dust and flames fought over the top of its raggedly breathing form. Pay attention to your dosages, kids.
Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?
Yeah, man. You don’t wanna build up the bad karma.
Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?
Never knew ‘em.
How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic or super whiney?
Pssh. I’m always sick, but if you distract it enough the body can’t tell.
What did your parents expect from you when you were born?
The orphanage says I was left on the doorstep in a beanie, so they probably expected me to like beanies.
Do you have a strong sense of style?
Hell yeah. Colours are an expression of the divine, even when you’re sober.
Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?
Outdoors is usually cheaper, although I guess I do have a salary now.
Is there a food that most people like but you absolutely hate?
Mmmmnope. I’ve eaten out of the garbage a few times.
Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?
I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever thrown anything away, but that’s mostly cos I’ve seldom owned anything to throw away.
Are you superstitious?
Man, there are always more things under the stars and beyond than can be dreamt of in your philosophy. Gotta keep an open mind.
Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pet’s names and stuff?
Nah. I think I was born in Beggarmoon? Drew was Mapday Tinkermoon.
What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?
The nip.
Is it hard for you to trust someone?
Yeah, but I can pretend if you pay me for it.
Are you susceptible to peer pressure?
Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow and see where it takes you, you know?
If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?
Most jobs kick me out before I finish the interview. Right now I’m a runner for a journalist. Before that I guess you could say I was a freelance smuggler.
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Comfy, fat and super stoned.
