Are you a morning person, or more of a night owl?
I looked at a possible future of waking up at dawn every day to work, and made myself a life where I get to sleep in until noon just for showing off all night.
What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?
How much can they afford - and how badly do they want to spend it on me?
You see a huge spider in your room, what do you do?
I’ve got people for that now. Beautiful, deadly people.
If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?
Oh, I haven’t any big regrets, I’m afraid. I saw what I wanted and I got myself there the quickest I could.Tell me about your first kiss.
Electrifying. A power trip and a personal indulgence all at once - like when I used to steal chickens from Jax’s coops and eat them all at once before I could be caught. I couldn’t tell you which lucky fellow that first one was, I’m afraid: When I was thirteen I quickly realised I could have any boy I wanted, and once I’d worked through all the ones I did - and a girl or two just to try it - I doubt I could tell you the order; they mostly blurred together: all save for my dear Artois, the only one I ever went back to, whom I know was far from the first. But I do remember that whoever did it first did it well enough to make it clear this was what I wanted to do with my life.
Do you give people second chances?
I don’t have to any more.
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Best of both worlds, I think.
Do you think you’re attractive?
My usual form is enticing enough to make me wildly rich, with a bit of work. I happen to think my real form is the truly irresistible one, but alas it’s just not feasible to let that one out these days.
What’s your worst habit?
I seem to be much more willing than others to leave people behind if they can’t follow where I need to go. Sorry Artois. Sorry mum and dad.
When was the last time you cried?
My mother was a harsh woman who didn’t see eye to eye with my desires. I cried when I left her, the last time we fought, and made sure never to have reason to again.
Are you a good liar?
Unparalleled.
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Moralisers. Especially when they try to disguise it as pragmatism.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
I’ve always broken other people’s before they had a chance to break mine.
Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?
When I was younger, I would use my fists. I built myself a life where I can do far more with words now.
What’s something you’re naturally good at?
I have a near-perfect memory. I can recite for you any poem I’ve read, show you any dance I’ve tripped, replicate every little touch that made you gasp or shiver the first time to give you exactly the experience I want you to have for the second. It also means I never slip up on a cover story, and never let anyone suspect I have anything to hide.
What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?
I am the best courtesan in the city at 25, self-taught with no formal training. You can only imagine what that took.
Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?
Easily, but then, they almost always are.
Do you think money can buy happiness?
It can buy freedom, which is close enough.
Do you believe in destiny?
Not for me.
Are you a good cook?
I am now - not that I really have to be, with a budget for servants. Although I’m blessed with a tiny waist, you actually need to eat quite a lot to hold onto this much embonpoint - and keeping up a frequent practice regimen in the culinary arts in the name of gorging myself on the world’s finest recipes four times a day suits me just fine.
What do you think happens after you die?
Oh, I don’t know if they’d let me into the Garden. But I’m sure the Tailor wouldn’t want to lose me, so perhaps we’ll work something out.
Did you have to grow up fast?
They told me I did, and I refused. I did grow out a lot faster than expected, though, all compliments to the Tailor - my poor grandmother blistered her paws trying to keep up with my necessary early-teen clothing adjustments.
Who do you look up to?
Her path is one I wouldn’t choose, but there’s an aunt of mine who made it up the ranks by her own methods before I did, which I have to begrudgingly respect.
When you go to a tavern, what do you order?
I’m not ashamed to have expensive tastes. It’s why I also have high prices and rich clients.
What do you like most about yourself?
I’m self-sufficient, and I always have been. Although being naturally built like a particularly shameless Talitha Spice cover maiden is also a quite significant boon which I enjoy a great deal.
What do you like least about yourself?
This job - or this con - would be easier if I was a bit less prone to liking people. There are ways to force people to fall in love through magic, for example, that I don’t have it in me to make use of - at least, not beyond a little harmless garnishing touch here or there. None of these rich idiots deserve the extra kindnesses I find myself giving them at my own expense.
Do you want kids someday?
I’m not the kind to pull off being tied down. Well, not for more than a few hours, and not by someone under sixteen.
Are you a planner or more spontaneous?
Planning is second nature to me now. I’ve always been good at it. But sometimes the trick is to adapt your plans on the fly.
Can you keep a secret?
I’ve had hundreds of men in my bed, some of them every day for months, who still don’t know the first thing about me. And I’ve had dozens of women in the same position who trust me not to let slip their names to their husbands.
Do you like being the centre of attention?
The trick people don’t realise is that it’s like the eye of a sandstorm: the centre is where you have control and safety.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
Hah. Haha. Well, with nothing left to lose, I would spend my last night with Artois.
Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
I have learned to appreciate it, although my true guilty pleasure is to be naked - more naked than I can ever be outside of my own most private dressing room, these days.
Where do you feel safe?
Right here, underneath the disguise.
Do you love or hate being alone?
I savour those fleeting moments wherever I can. It was the hardest thing to give up.
What’s the last nightmare you remember having?
…there’s been a recurring one the last few nights, actually, where I relive my… escapades but with every client or partner replaced by diseased, disfigured Divs. I think it’s my troublesome conscience trying to make me feel bad about getting so involved with my aunt and little cousin. Fortunately, through magical pick-me-ups and my natural charms, they haven’t been able to impede my usual bouncy bubbliness for sweet Captain Rudyard.
Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?
I never do, and I never intend to.
Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?
That’s actually the exact thing I’m doing all this to avoid.
How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic or super whiney?
When I was a child, I had no choice but to be stoic. I think I can fairly indulge in a little whininess now.
What did your parents expect from you when you were born?
A dull, difficult life of keeping quiet and out of the way. Thankfully, puberty and the Tailor had other plans.
Do you have a strong sense of style?
Of course. A natural top-heavy hourglass figure and porcelain cheekbones will only get you so far on their own; everything else comes from what I do with the canvas.
Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?
I didn’t put in this much work to sleep on the ground.
Is there a food that most people like but you absolutely hate?
When you’ve lived off rice and the occasional stolen chicken, you can appreciate almost anything.
Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?
I keep a few chests of my suitors’ nicest gifts ready to run away with at a moment’s notice if everything I’ve built comes crashing down. As far as the rest of it goes, I didn’t work my way up the higher echelons of the city to not live in a house with too many rooms all fully stocked with expensive things that are pretty and tasty and fun and exciting.
Are you superstitious?
Who knows? I made my own luck; I never needed to go looking for it in folk wisdom.
Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pet’s names and stuff?
Flawlessly.
What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?
Whatever I want. That’s what being rich allows. But if we’re talking most often - most of my massage techniques can also be used on myself, some with a little flexibility. Most feelings, ultimately, can be physically overruled if you know what you’re doing.
Is it hard for you to trust someone?
It’s always easier not to.
Are you susceptible to peer pressure?
I’d still be squatting in a three-room hovel if I was.
If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?
I’ll do whatever I need to. Musician. Model. Poet. Chef. Masseuse would probably be easiest.
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Rich enough to get out of the lower city - and here I am!
