Campaign 1 - Stolen Rain - Session 2 - #murderhobosforlife

The Party Line up

• Volspa Ichorstone, a shield maiden who rides her faithful Irontail mount
• Talia, Volspa's adopted merfolk sister who skulks in the shadows with deadly magic fans.
• Bell Juju, a sassy old merfolk granny who doesn't take crap from anyone.
• Krumpa Dakka Waaah, the master Orc painter warrior who breathes life into color
• Bitey the Gerblin, Krumpa's faithful minion with a severe gambling addiction that nobody can understand

The session starts with the party being praised by the roaring crowd as the shaman Rattleneck decrees that the gods have sent champions from within the holy well and they reveal that the Swamp Clan has stolen the rain from the people of Desert Clan. Rattleneck then sends a messenger to the King's Keep ordering that the army be sent to the swamp clan to retrieve the orb that grants the rain. As the messenger takes off, Volspa summons her Irontail mount from within her pocket and gives chase to make sure the truth is relayed to the king. Talia uses her stealthy talent to follow Volspa from within the crowd of people to better keep eye on her sister.
Krumpa and Bitey seize the moment on stage to try and rally the people into following them on their assault on the swamp clan and run off towards the north gate but the cheers of the people were too loud and hardly anyone heard this call to arms and didn't follow.
Granny Juju was then left all alone on stage with Rattleneck and the crowd of people as a guard came to them with news from town square. An angry mob has captured the Mercenaries from the Swamp clan who were hired to help restore the rain and are now being burned alive. The guard requests Rattleneck's help in calming the mob before more blood is spilled. Granny Juju and Rattleneck follow the guard to the scene.
Volspa and Thalia make there way into the King's Keep where the messanger is informing Inquisitor Glockter of Rattleneck's message. Volspa informs Glockter of what happened in the well below the city and how the thief that stole the orb is in fact a changling. Volspa and Practical Vatali confirm Volspa's story. Glockter explains that the king is in the north with his army fighting off the jungle clans who encroach the desert clan's border and is currently on his way back to Downpour, hopefully news of the swamp clan's treachery doesnt cause the king to detour his army east into swamp territory. Glockter leads Volspa and Talia to the house of questions to learn more about this changling thief.
Krumpa and Bitey arrive at the gate and see a large group of citizens wanting to leave the capital but the guards weren't letting anyone leave. Krump covered himself in paint and bellowed a mighty battle cry as he charged the front gate. His intensity was contagious and the crowd followed after him and the guard were overwhelmed as 200 people sieged the gate. Most of the North Gate guard were killed as the people flooded into the desert sands following Krumpa and the pig riding Bitey towards the Swamplands hellbent on vengeance.
Granny Juju and Rattleneck make their way to town square and witness someone being pushed into a huge bonfire as the angry mob cheers. There are two remaining people being lined up to the fire when Granny and Rattleneck intervene and address the angry mob. Rattleneck explains that with her is a champion sent from Valhalla and that we should listen to her wisdom. Granny clears her ancient throat and then talks about how the swamp clan had taken the rain from the noble desert clan and that the people need to gather not just the mercenaries of the swamp clan, but everyone in the city that hails from the swamp clan and cast them into the fire. Rattleneck roars in approval "the god's have spoken!" But before things get rolling, a loud bellow from a war horn is heard across the city as long necked dinosaurs loomed over the city walls and lowered swarms of Desert Clan naval warriors into the streets. The navy quickly brought order to the chaos that was raging across the capital. Granny Juju knew her time was up and she spartan kicked the two remaining swamp clan mercenaries into the raging fire as she and rattleneck were gagged and had shrouds thrown over their heads as they were being taken to the house of questions for inciting a riot.

Krumpa and Bitey wander the desert wastes for hours and one of their 200 followers introduces himself as a man called Charming. Charming points out that their small army will need to fill up on water and guides them to a nearby oasis that is just beyond a network of caves. Along the journey through the dark maze 2 small children get lost from the group (who brings children on a raid? Vikings thats who!) Krumpa, Bitey, and Charming lead a small search party of 12 back into the cave in search of the lost children. Once the children are found, Charming and 8 others in the group draw weapons against severely outnumbered Krumpa and Bitey stating that "Lady Sweetwater sends her regards."
Back at the house of questions, Inquisitor Glockter has a naked councilman chained to a torture who is one of the few people that know the location of the orb that was stolen. Glockter demands information about who the councilman told and after a few rounds Volspa decides to speed things up by drawing her blade and grabbing hold of the councilman's manhood stating that if he didn't talk she would start cutting. Of course the naked man spoke, what man wouldn't? He explained that a man named "Fingers" kidnapped his daughter "Pebble" and sent the councilman a package with her severed finger and family ring stating he would send more body parts each day until he gave the location of the orb. The man named "Fingers" doesn't know that the councilman who he is and that he works out of the town of Selbina in the middle of the Sand Sea a network of quicksand water ways that require special vehicles to travel through.
The interrogation is interrupted by the arrival of the Captain of the Guard, Three-Trees, bringing in Rattleneck and Granny Juju to be "thoroughly questioned" for she will have ORDER in her city and not even the shaman is above the law in the Desert Clan. Luckily for Granny Volspa and Thalia are able to convince Three-Trees to let let the old woman leave with them out of town where she can't cause anymore trouble and instead be of use bringing the rain back to the capital. A messenger arrives to notify the group that the north gate had been overwhelmed by an angry mob lead by an Orc and a Gerblin and most of the guard posted there were killed. The admiral of the navy's brother was stationed there and among the dead accounted for. The admiral was enraged and sent a large division of soldiers to pursue the 200 people responsible that fled into the desert. Glockter urges the party to make haste bu Volspa says she just needs to make a quick stop to the blacksmith first before they leave and Tree-Trees grips Granny Juju by the arm and escorts the 3 of them to the blacksmith to personally insure that no further trouble happens along the way.
Charming glows with bright magic light as he rushes at Krumpa with murderous glee, but the Orc didn't fear the human and his group of mercenaries who claimed to outnumber him and Bitey. Krumpa knows he and his Gerblin friend are never alone, for the ancestors are always with him and together they remove Charming's head from his shoulders and the watch it fly across the cave and into the arms of one of the small children. The young child raises the head high above with amazement "WOW THAT WAS AWESOME!" she shouts over and over as she shows her trophy to the other child, a small boy named "Bottles" whose face turns green in disgust at the sight of the severed head. A few of the mercenaries flee in terror as they have never seen their leader Charming take damage in battle, believing he was impervious to harm. Bitey and Krumpa make quick work of the Mercenaries that didn't flee and among the corpses finds a Mace that magically Slows its victims and a poisonous dagger in the shape of a viper's fang. The two warriors check on the children to make sure they are not hurt and the girl swears to become as fighter like Krumpa who ceremonially places warpaint on the childs face and grants her the name of SMASH CHOPPA WA.
Back at the blacksmith, the shop had been sacked during the riots and the smith and his wife are trying to repair the damages with a small toolbox. They say they are closed and have nothing to sell but when they notice Three-Trees the captain of the town guard is there they agree to help the party. Volspa asks for a fire crystal she salvaged from her battle with a fire elemental be fused with her family sword. The Smith assured her he doesn't have the knowledge to create magic weapon as thats a tight trade secret of the mountain clan. Volspa explained her sword was crafted in the mountain clan and is designed to make elemental fusion simple and together she and the smith would fused the fire crystal into her weapon. While the crafting commenced in the backroom, Granny Juju complained to Three-trees (who still had a tight grip on her arm) that she needed to "use the little girl's room." After much back and forth Three-Trees agreed but strapped a cow bell to granny and ordered her to continuously ring the bell at all times so the captain would know she wasn't running off while doing her business. Granny managed to steal the blacksmith's toolbox under her dress as she was escorted to the outhouse and used the tools to break free of the bell. With all the loud banging of the bell, a group of small viking children were drawn to granny who gave them the bell and told them to keep ringing it over and over as she made her escape back into town.
Inside the blacksmith shop Talia and the Smith's wife were waiting for the others to finish up and the wife decided to get back to repairing the shop when she noticed her toolbox was missing. She looked around the room and the only person there was the battle hardened merfolk Talia. She demanded that Talia give back her toolbox she had stolen, as merfolk are known to have sticky fingers. Talia explained she didn't have her toolbox but the wife was convinced she stole them and demanded she have the tools returned and started saying some racist merfolk words at Talia who quickly ended the argument with a quick punch to the wife's face. Talia doesn't put up with racist assholes. The smith finished fusing Volspa sword and apologized for his wife's mouth to Talia as he admits she doesn't know when to shut up. Three-Trees alerts the group that Granny Juju has escaped and takes off after her.
Krumpa and Bitey eventually lead their army outside of the caves and find the oasis that Charming surpassingly didn't lie about. The people eagerly drink the water and stock up for their journey to the swamp lands. Bitey takes this time to explore the island in the middle of the oasis and discovers a group of about 25 raiders hiding in the brush. Clearly the raiders have been ambushing people who come to the oasis for water but never have 200+ people come before like this. Bitey sneaks back and informs Krumpa through drawings that there is treasure buried on the island nearby. Krumpa rallies the troops by once again dousing himself in paint and roaring a battlecry to the island where the 25 raiders quickly surrender as they are easily outnumbered. Krump and Bitey seize the raider's weapons, armor, and treasure to outfit most of their 200 people for battle. What was once an angry mob is now a full on armed militia. Among the treasure, Bitey found a magical pan flute.
Granny Juju wanders around town and bumps into a viking eating a sweet roll who introduces himself as Harding Grim. Granny convinces Grim to take her to a pawn shop where she sells off most of her loot she found under the well including the elder battery as a buyer from the sky clan was collecting them up North. Granny asks the pawn dealer if he has heard of any strange activity going on in town, any big ticket items being moved and the dealer directed granny to the docks where the pirates hang out. Granny asks Grim to take her to the docks as he eats on another sweet roll.
Volspa and Talia get separated from Three-Trees and decide to go looking for Granny Juju themselves as they can hear alarm horns blasting that signaled to town that a fugitive is on the loose. A pair of guards stop them in the street and question them if they have seen a woman matching Granny Juju's discerption. The two sisters say not only have they seen her, but they are friends of the fugitive and the guards say that they are now inclined to take them in for questioning at the house of questions. Volspa refused to be treated like a criminal, especially by a pair of men, for she is Volspa Hlokk, a shield maiden from the Iron Spine and demanded the two guards leave her be. The guards urged her that if she didn't come willingly that they would have to take her in by force due to their relation to the fugitive. Talia sighed knowing her sister Volspa had lost her temper again and things were about to get bloody and drew out her battle fans. A fight breaks out one of the guards manages to strike Talia down which enrages the shield maiden to leap off her iron tail and cleave the guard in half. Talia coughs and reveals she is still alive causing Volspa's rage to finally dissipate. The other guard takes this moment to flee for his life.
Granny Juju and Harding Grim make there way to the docks and speak with the pirates lounging about. Granny decides to win over the pirates by making them a meal but lacked the proper amount of food to prepare for a group this size and gives Grim her fishing net and orders him to catch some fish in the water. Grim Takes the net and dives into the water and realizes he can't swim causing one of the pirates to leap in after him. While grim splashes in panic below the dock Granny continues to ask about any big ticket items being moved in the black market and one of the pirates gives her a strange looking coin and explains that giving that coin will grant her an audience with the captain of the Wanderlust.The conversation is brought to an end when people start shouting that Grim caught a corpse in his fishing net and they brought up to shore to investigate.
Volspa and Talia wander around town and run into a well dressed man with a top hat named Owaka the 23rd. Owaka is offering to buy any homes within Downpour so people can have money to start a new life elsewhere incase the water never returns and the city is abandoned. Owaka spots Volspa and Talia ontop their Iron Tail mount and rushes over to meet with them. He offers them a job to remove the raiders from the oasis to the north east of town and as a reward he will give clues to the whereabouts of Volspa's missing family sword, the Leviathan. How does he know about that? And how does he know Volspa and Talia? He speaks to the girls as if he know Volspa's family and recongizes the family Iron tail. Volspa and Talia agree and make their way to docks as thats where Three-Trees was last spotted.
Three-Trees, Volspa, and Talia make their way to the crowd of people at the docks that have circled around Granny Juju and a bloated corpse. The corpse is of the cleric who delivers the honored dead to their homeland for a proper burial. Granny exclaims that this is a clue perhaps linking to the Changling thief Fin Mouser that they have been looking for.
The session ends with Volspa explaining to Three-Trees that she and Talia got in an altercation with one of her town guards. Unfortunately a battle broke out and she killed the guard. Three-Trees has Volspa arrested but the party convinces Tree-Trees to release her if they paid off the family of the guard enough coin. Tree-Trees set the payment to 4 Gold which Volspa didn't have but luckily, Granny Juju paid the remaining balance and Volspa was set free and told to never return to Downpour unless she had the missing orb.