S103 Recap: Flirting With Death | Ep.46: Oh These Bitches Are Thirsty

General Summary

Nova is Exhausted™ (Thrice over in fact) so Isati convinces Diva to take first watch with her > Diva: “Fiiiiiiiinnnnnneee. But I won't be helpful because I can't see in the dark” > #NotAcknowledgingKirinCastingDarkvisionOnHer > “Oh & I will also be relentlessly flirting with you the whole time.” > #ThirstyBitchNumeroUno #Spotlight > Ok but actually tho Diva lays it on pretty thick the whole first watch, at one point considers cashing in on Serenas & Kirin's insurance over her recent impalement (#NotTheFunKind), before playing up her sleepiness & making demands about what her payment for agreeing to take a nightwatch shift will be in the morning (And we love her for it) > #BreakfastInBed #HotWhiskey #DivaNeedsHerBeautySleep > We than jump from that energy into an incredibly heartfelt conversation between Corayas & Romad > #TeamRambleRouser > Ok but as we all know these recaps aren't made for the sappy bits so I'll just leave you with these Corayas quotes > “I guess I'm relating to you in this way too, times two relating to you!” “Enough butter to make a man fall off his horse.” > #RelatesToYou×2 #WeLoveCorayas&CorayasLovesUs #HowMuchButterDoesItTake? > Also important to note that Romad takes this opportunity to use Ambrose for scouting! > #BirbFriendNumeroTres #AmbroseTheHellHawk > THIRD WATCH! > #TeamRangerKnowhow ever the functional duo spot some weird shit just before dawn with a nat 20 Perception from Kirin (spoilers its a hanggliding fir darrig with a bucket of monster bait) > #CritCount1 #GoodCrits1 > Kirin wakes everybody up while Serenas sheds some light on the situation > Serenas: “Anyways, I Started Blasting.” > #CritCount2 #GoodCrits2 > The still maniacally laughing kamikaze fir darrig is succintly shot out of the air & scattered to poppy petals by the onslaught of arrows & #EldritchBlasts while the #BucketOfGrossness is also pinged out of the air such that it lands away from the camp. > Serenas (in the style of a confessional from The Office): “There was no #BadNewsBreeze so I wasn't worried. Those monsters pulled in by the rotten meat might've been a threat but we got out of there so it all worked out.” > #FirDarrigsAreJustLikeThatLmao > But yeah no, the punks went to check the bucket contents, smelt real bad & much like the moustache, prestidigitation just made it even more potent. > #FuckinFaeFuckery. > The crew packs up camp to go have breakfast elsewhere. Diva, refusing to leave her bedroll, demands she be carried > “No not you, Romad —Ah Kirin! Baaaaabbeee you woke me up earlyyyyy.” > #Shadestar #DivaBeDiva > Carried from one unofficial girlfriend to another Diva is deposited in Isati's lap where she will remain until she is served her breakfast & hot whiskey. > PSA: Know your limit, drink within it. You are not a tegokka. > Anywizards, Serenas takes lead on breakfast, cooking Kirin describes as “Literally the best road food I've ever seen” after he #GoodCrits his cooking check. > #CritCount3 #GoodCrits3 > Serenas thinks it's passable (“the head chef wouldn't chase me out of the kitchen over this at least”) > #NobleStandards > Food delivered to a slightly flustered Isati (hmmmmm), Corayas goes on a #SendingSpree writing letters to his mom, updating her on his tattoo, love life, asking how the kids in Canoas are doing, & also if she could teach Serenas how to cook. But before we get an answer to that last question Corayas rolls a Nat1 on a surge check. He doesn't use #HalflingLuck. Why would he? > “I'm only excited because they've only been good up to this point.” > #CritCount4 #GoodCrits3 #BadCrits1 #FinalCritCount > “Corayas you feel the surge of magic crash forth like a mighty tide, breaking the walls that hold in the souls of everyone around you before that tide pulls back in to your own vessel, carrying the life force of those around you back in with it.” > #Oh #OhNo > “Everyone within 30 feet of Corayas takes 4 points of necrotic damage.” > #OhFUCK > Irati —beloved husband & father of 3, healthy communication king, smoking hot DILF, frail victorian waif of a man— has a hit point maximum of 2. 4 points of damage is the exact number need to insta kill him. > BUT WAIT WHAT'S THIS‽‽ IT'S GYLFIE!! AND SHE HAS THE NAMELESS LOVE TRAIT!!!! > #AHHHHHHHHHHH > Okay holy shit crisis averted, Irati is NOT dead, both the familiars popped but they'll be back, the horses & Feathers are protected by the #BlessingOfEpimetheus so they're fine as well. > #OOUHG > a panicked Isati rushes out, having also taken the damage & felt Gylfie sacrifice herself, just in time to hear Corayas say with the beginnings of distress on his tongue: “Did I Do That?” > FIN! SEE Y'ALL NEXT WEEK FOLKS!
S103 Crit Count: Kirin Nat20 Perception on watch, Serenas nat20 attack on hang glider, Serenas Nat20 Cooking check, Corayas Nat1 Surge Check