S116 Recap: The Siege of Shasta: Part 2 | Ep.59: Mosquito Creatures, Kirin's Conspiracy Theories, & #DemigodBadassery

General Summary

Maybe I can trick my brain by typing it on discord instead nyheheheheh > ok so anyways we find ourselves where we left off; being insane people > #TheClassic #AlwaysSplitTheParty > Serenas after getting a #GoodCrit nature check shatters some stirges, insta-obliterating ⅓ of em on their #BadCrit Con save > #Nyice=￣ω￣= #CritCount2 #GoodCrits1 #BadCrits1 > Unfortunately that still leaves 20 of the bastards to #Succ and I guess some wargod really wanted to see that because wouldn't you know it Isati was on the receiving end of a #BlessingOfTheWarGods > #Rude #CritCount3 #GoodCrits2 #BadCrits1 > Meanwhile the party braincell is making incredibly dangerous decisions but in her defense she's acting on bad information > Whatcu Gonna Do? NOT ambush the ambusher? > #SnekkySniperSeesALL #ExceptTheJaguar #She'sHid > "So anyways I started blasting!" > #FiftySevenAcademicsDamageButTheBitchStillStanding #CanSnakesStand? (Far in the distance, the cry of a child rings out in sympathetic anguish: "#TheyDon'tHaveLegggssss.·¯(>▂<)´¯·. > #Tia'MorsellaCorcettaWeMissYou > Seriously tho this motherfucker (Kirin) somehow managed to hide from the sniper every fucking time > #The"#Can'tSeeMe"Cat #SoHiddenHerHashtagsHaveHashtags #Hashtagception > The fir darrig on the otherhand fucking biffs it despite being invisible but we haven't got that far yet > #WeirdSoup > Meanwhile back with the rest of the party sans Nova & Scribius, #TeamMeddlesomeRomantics engage in glitter warfare (much to Serenas' lament) while #TeamEmotionalRollercoaster engage in normal warfare > #FuckTheSucc #AllMyHomiesHateTheSucc #Garl'sGloriousGlitterbombOurBelovedTho > But yeah no, these stirges get got w/o much fuss after that so it's once more time for #SneakyVsSnekky > #SheSneaky > Seriously tho it's insane that Kirin kept getting away with this but sure enough she once again beat the sniper's TWENTY NINE Passive Perception, got sneak attack, & did enough damage to finally keel the #SnekkyBish over > Now this is when the fir darrig full #BadCrit biffed stealthily casting their #CheekyFeignDeath despite being invisible, & clued Kirin in to their being something fucky. > #CritCount4 #GoodCrits2 #BadCrits2 > Unfortunately for me it wasn't the only tip off nor was it the most damning because #Hunter'sMark came in clutch by revealing to Kirin that despite appearing dead in every other way, the fucking sniper wasn't at 0 hit points yet!! > #FUCK #AndItWould'veWorkedToo,IfItWeren'tForYouMeddlingHunter'sMark! > But first we have an entire round of basically nothing working with two #CurseOfTheWarGods for Kirin and another for the fir darrig > #CritCount7 #GoodCrits2 #BadCrits5 > We then spend some time taking pot shots at the #LyingLierSnekkySniper before hiding just in time to remain unseen by said snek as "she" is awoken from feigned death by her minion > "Well then, we'll be seeing each other again soon Ms. Aecasi." > #ThanksIHateIt > It is only on the walk back to the bunk house that Kirin realizes "Oh Shit. That was the fucking #ElongatedOne > #BulletDodged #SoloingTheFinalBoss #KirinSpeedrunStrats2K18 #ItAlmostWorkedTooLmao #GameBreakingGodFighting > SMASH CUT! > NOVA JUST GRABS THE RAGING PETRATAUR BY THE HORNS & FUCKING TOMBSTONES IT INTO THE GROUND!!!!!! > #OopsTooFar #RunItBackNowY'all > "Nova, from a nearby rooftop you hear a guard shout out "PETRATAUR INCOMING!" & turn to see a massive iron bull barreling down the street towards you, a noxious green gas leaking from its mouth." > #Fuck. > Nova: "Welp, brute force has worked so far." /Charges the fucking bull before it can get close/ > We take this moment to acknowledge that Nova temporarily overlapped realities & simultaneously possessed both the Grappler & Resilient (CON) feats as their' bard 4 ASI choice but we move on with our lives > #RealityIsAnEvenWeirderSoupThanTime #It'sOkay > Anyways, Nova successfully grapples the petrataur thanks to advantage from Grappler (which doesn't actually do that but hush) & some help from our new old friend Orteus the orc bard grandpa #CuttingWords'ing the bull's check. This stopped it from getting close enough for anyone else to be in range when it blows a biggo breath of #TurnToStone which Nova just shrugs off cuz Con Save Proficiency from Resilient > #NovaJustKeepsWinning > We now however catch up to our previous smash cut in which NOVA JUST GRABS THE RAGING PETRATAUR BY THE HORNS & FUCKING NAT20 TOMBSTONES IT INTO THE GROUND!!!!!! > #CritCount8 #GoodCrits3 #BadCrits5 #FinalCritCount #GetFUCKED #DemigodSTRONK > With the petrataur pinned, it takes very little effort for the guards & old orc to finish it off so that is where we shall end our tales for now. But also this took all week to write so see y'all tomorrow night lol
S116 Crit Count: Serenas Nat20 Nature on stirges, Stirges Nat1 con save, Stirge nat20 attack on isati, Fir Darrig Nat1 stealth, Kirin Nat1 x2 attack rolls, fir darrig nat1 exploding squid, Nova nat20 athletics check.