S118 Recap: The Siege of Shasta: Part 4 | Ep.61: We Adopted A Rhino

General Summary

Y'all're good at combat now and that's all that really happened this session so what if this recap was just from the pov of Rhyan the Rhino > #HaHaJustKidding … #Unless > Nothing. And as such Everything. No self. And as such no Other. A Dream. Wander in place as the world moves around. Around ? wonder. I wonder. I Am. And as such I am no longer Nothing nor Everything. I am a Rhino. The fuck is a rhino‽ Also the fuck's this gangly ass motherfucker in front of me doi—OH FUCK IT'S BITING MY FUCKING FACE OFF FUCK WHAT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT!?!??!? I am dying.
Soon I will once again be Nothing. And as such Everything. I feel the grace of not a butterfly nor moth upon my hide but a feather. Epimetheus has sent for my soul not a collector but a carnivore. I watch as the battle rages on around my dying body. My face, I note, is half devoured already. I don't know what to make of this. It's not like I had the face long enough to grow attached to it really. I don't know. I think it looks kinda cool honestly. Oh Hey! That whatsamawhosit over there just got a solid hit on the fucker who ate my face! Fuck Yeah! I don't know anything but that one's my favourite I think. Or hmmmm. Maybe my dads will be sad if they're not my favourite… I don't what a dad is… And I have more than one I guess? Damn, existence sucks. Those weird fuckers with enemy bodies and uncle heads also kinda suck... That's like, so many missed shots. I also am unsure what an uncle is or why the faces on the spike slingers is uncle~esque but I think I'm coming to terms with my ignorance. After all, none of this is even canon. > #HaHaJustKidding … #Unless >
OH SHIT QUILL DAD JUST HIT THE SOUL VULTURE OF EPIMETHEUS WITH A SKATEBOARD AND NOW I'M NOT DYING ANYMORE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!? Y'know. I've not lived a long life. But it sure has been eventful. Welp. My soul is still doing the limbo thing even though my body has stabilized which is pretty neat. Oh there's another dad in that bird over there that is maybe actually a rock. Weird. Also I am now pretty sure dad is the word for all these whatsamawhosits fucking up the gangly fuck who ate my face! > #IloveMyDads >
I am biding my time now. It shall soon be here. I will Be Ready.
NOW!
I have enacted My Revenge. When gangly fuck's soul appeared but before Tartarus reclaimed its essence I devoured half of Its face (God Dad said it was okay for me to do this) > #BreakingLimitsIssaFamilyTradition! #ThisWillSurelyHaveNoConsequencesWhatsoever > After all, none of this is even canon. > # … #Right? #ThisIsn'tCanonRight?!? > (:
Well now that they've finished fucking up all those monsters I guess I just chill until it's time for me to be back in a body. Huh. A Body. That'll Be Weird. Oh Hey What's going on over Here?! More gods! Or I guess this one's a goddess? I don't think she's my dad tho. Nor is This One.
Any further interaction with This One and Goddess Not-Dad is cut short because my dads are going somewhere! Dads! Where are you going!?
I have a horrible moment of lucidity where I realize I did not care about any of them when I Was. It is only Now while I am between Being and Not Being that I care. I fear I will not care when I am again. I follow my dads anyways.
My favourite dad has a plan! Beard Dad is hiding with her above as a pride of The Enemy approaches. They Enter Center Stage Pursued By Wurm. Favourite Dad does her thing and quill dad smacks the wurm with a skateboard just like earlier! The Wurm has eaten the skateboard and favourite dad's whatchamacallit. A Great Aura Of Frustration Floods The Ether Around Favourite Dad.
Also this is my newest dad! They seem to have close ties with The Enemy and I have conflicting emotions about that.
With This We Conclude Rhyan's Point of View!
Isati chooses a nat1 for next sessions initiative bringing us to our final tally of #CritCount9 #GoodCrits5 #BadCrits4 #FinalCritCount > My sincerest apologies to Romad, Serenas, & Isati who did not get dad titles from Rhyan. Please feel free to make your own and they will be canonized. > #HaHaJustKidding #Unless > I SHALL SEE Y'ALL NEXT WEEK!
S118 Crit Count: Hungy nat20 bite, manticor nat1 stealth, manticore nat 1 spike, kirin nat20 on hungy, isati nat 20 eb, manticore nat 1 spike, pride nat20 dex save, wurm Nat20 wurm dex save (eat yo eruption), Isati Nat1 initiative