S156 Recap: Gwyf's Birthday Gift | Ep99: The Shovel Talk

General Summary

We kick it all off with a bunch of downtime activities on the week of travel. Lots of sewing, potion making, and book reading to be had > #TheNerds > Also Kirin #GoodCrit her codebreaking endeavours on the book from Nifläm so > #CritCount1 > OKAY BUT I WANNA GET TO THE GOOD STUFF SO WE ZOOMIE ON TO THE CAPITOL!!! > #ThisIsWhatHappensWhenIWaitToWriteRecapsLol > So what if I told you that instead of waiting in line at this big ass city wall (which is practically just a bunch of british rowhouses for wizard towers lol), the lot of you got moved to the front of the special line and got Special™ stamps? And what if I told (and only told) Serenas Admetus “#GoodCritPolitics” Keita Proudthorn that those stamps were exclusively for guests of the royal family? > #WhatAboutThemApples? #CritCount2 > Okay okay, BUT! What if I also told you that you were taking a secret underground tunnel to the castle walls, at which point Serenas would finally spill the beans to the rest of the crew? > #MoreApplesForYourConsideration > Anybrand-recognition, the party is given a space to unpack and hurridly prepare themselves for meeting with Kirin's godmother Peka (AN: if you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). While there are royal weaveshapers on call, they were given specific instructions to only act under the direction of Isati and not to provide their own creations > #PartyFashionIsAnIsatiExclusiveRight #SorryItCouldn'tFitInTheNicknameLimit #ITried > We ENTER the THRONE ROOM. There is NO throne (This Is Normal). There is NO Queen (This is SUSPICIOUS). > #ShenanigansAreAfoot! > It is at this moment that other members of the party (Not Kirin) begin to notice a very very very VERY small melanistic woodpecker on the brow of one normally sized, non-melanistic (but goth!), jaguar > WoodyWoodpeckerLaugh.mp3 > Romad: “So Kirin... What exactly does your godmother look like?” > *Kirin proceeds to describe the very same pileated woodpecker on her brow (give or take a few magnitudes of scale)* > Romad: “Ahh. I see.” > #Don'tMindSerenas #He'sJustShushingNova&RomadFromGivingItAway > Anywoyalties, Kirin eventually spots her godmother in the reflection of her companion's eyes and the jig is up (“ehihihHEH-ehihiHEH hehehehehehe”) > With Queen Peka now back to being taller than anybody else in the room we chill and loiter about, discussing tales of their travels up to this point. There are two key things to note of these events: First is that Kirin takes a brief aside with Isati to warn her that Queen Peka may give the #LovergirlLepidot a shovel talk (#IsatiIsn'tTooConcernedAboutThis), and Second is that at some point during the evening's events, both Gwyf & Peka are replaced with simulacrums (#IsatiShouldBeVeryConcernedAboutThis) > OH!!! I almost forgot that earlier Serenas #Nat20'd a history check about King Nikodemus, an incorrigible prankster of a peacock with access to powerful spellcasting and attendants fully unable to stop him from being a menace to high society. > #CritCount3, #GoodCrits3, #BadCrits0, #FinalCritCount > WAIT FUCK KIRIN AND ISATI JUST GOT SPIRITED AWAY BY CASTLE MAGIC!!!! > #Can'tBelieveYou'veDoneThis #TimeToZag #GetCastledIdiots #ThePreviousJokeHasBeenSponsoredByTheRoyalChessAssociationOfAsland #PaidAds > “You each find yourself in a secluded chamber with nothing but a tall backed chair facing away from you in it and a single central light fixture hung from the ceiling and swaying ever so subtly. For Kirin the chair is proportionally quite small while the chair in Isati's ~interrogation~ chamber is conversely almost ten feet tall.” > #PauseForDramaticEffect > “As the chairs spin to face you, you both find before you someone both shocking and completely unsurprising. As the massive chair before Isati spins around to face her, who should reveal himself if not— GWYF?!??!?????> #TheOlSwitcheroo◖‵ω′◗ #GetsEmEveryTime > Gwyf (Dead Serious): “Isati if you hurt Kirin I will Unravel Your Soul.” | Isati (Extremely Bewildered): “Okay?????” > Queen Peka: “Listen to me closely Kirin. Young Ms. Erekeri has become an incredibly important connection the Aurellas Isles for our nation so whatever you do: Don't! Fuck! This! UP! > Kirin (Also Bewildered): “???” > Peka: “If you hurt Ms. Erekeri and ruin this for us, I will throw you under the cart so fast. I Will Not Hesitate Bitch. I will train an elite shadow corps of Rianan fleas to infest your fur. I will fill your sandals with the most unpleasant textured goop you could ever know and sovereign glue it to your adorable little toe beans so you can never go a single step without the worst squelching sound and sensation to ever plague the kin. > Kirin: “You know I don't really wear shoes that often right?” > Peka: “You Will When I Sovereign Glue Them To Your Feet.” > #SheWillThrowYouUnderTheCart #DoNotFuckThisUp > Okay lmao #ShovelTalks are done now > #ThisWasGwyf'sBirthdayGiftFromKirinBtw #SheCanOnlyBlameHerself #AndYouCanAllBlameHerLol #ThisNonsenseWasLiteralYearsInTheMakingXD > Speaking of gifts! TALOS IS BACK WITH ALL THE MAGIC ITEMS HE WAS COMMISIONED TO MAKE!!! > #Yayyy!!!! #ByTalosThisCanBeHappening > How did he make so many items so quickly? There may or may not have been a royal decree that granted him access to all sorts of expensive materials and the help of dozens of incredibly skilled magical artisans > #Yayyy!!!! #ByNepotismThisCanBeHappening > Kirin gets her fancy new hornbow that lets her heal anything she could shoot with an arrow > #PossibleCatharsisMoments > Romad gets his funky lil shield of #FuckYourSpellAttack that may or may not still be spiky as fuck > #YouLoveToSeeIt > Nova however gets a beautiful sword so they can once more #ThematicallyAndQuiteLiterallyPhysicallyCarryTheirTraumaAroundButNowThey'veLearnedAndGrownFromItAndCanUseItToThematicallyAndQuiteLiterallyMagicallyBreakFreeeee! > #There'sNoFittingThatOneInYourNickname #SimplyUnfeasibleXD > OKAY THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!! SEE Y'ALL IN A LITTLE WHILE FOR THE FINAL DAY OF TWENTY-GAYTEEN S.E.!!!!

S156 Crit Count: Kirin Nat20 Codebreaking, Serenas Nat20 Politics, Serenas Nat20 History