S164 Recap: The Faerie Wine Incident | Ep107

General Summary

Fun Fact of the day! The Sun Chariot doesn't fly over the equator so just throw out everything you know about how the sun works. It does NOT rise in the East. Anyways fun facts aside, we find our fiance's secluding themselves up on the deck near where Citzie's dirt patch is. Is Citzie in her dirt patch? We would assume no but I don't know that we ever actually clarified that fact so there's also a non zero chance that she was just there judging them the entire time. > #AsIsHerRight > Anywaves, the two loverboys are setting themselves up a nice little picnic while Romad is not at all considering the potential consequences of giving his husband-to-be faerie wine, partially because he didn't know that's what it was at the time (at least not in character). He is however considering how funny it would be. > #FaeMentality. > We Pour The Wine. > We SIP The Wine. > Romad: “Yeah I'm usually not a wine person but this is some #GoodShit.” > Serenas: “I AM SEEING SHRIMP COLORS” > #Hmmmmm #OneOfTheseTwoRolledNat20WisdomSave #TheOtherDidNOT > #CritCount1, #GoodCrits1, #BadCrits0 #FinalCritCount > So yeah turns out half-elven physiology is Not in fact enough to resist the effects of faerie wine and Serenas is having a scientific expedition all from the safety of his picnic blanket > Serenas (Drunkenly): “Romad! Get Me My Research Notebook!” > Romad (Mischievously): “Of course!” *proceeds to not do that and brings the PhoneBook™ instead.*> Serenas: “No silly! This is for communicating with my parents! Can you go back and get the one with my research notes!” > (We then repeat this step a few times) > Serenas (Still drunkenly, but slightly more exasperated at his fiance but with no thoughts of intentional japery): “Are you sure you have the research notes and not the PhoneBook™ this time?” > Romad: “Yes.” *Hands Over The Phonebook™ again* > Serenas: *Deep drunken sigh at Romad's “silliness”* > #NotAnotherCactus #ThisIsSerenas'sZorua > SMASH CUT! > THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN CRUSH DOWN AROUND ALL OF YOU AS YOU FEEL THE ABYSSAL ZONE FLOOD AROUND YOU IN ABSOLUTE DARKNESS > #OopsTooFar #RunItBackNowY'all #WeirdSoup > So, dear reader, if perhaps you were given the right to veto one Juno #IfThatIsHerRealName Looker from partaking of faerie wine? #WouldYa? (#ScottishAccentRequired) > Romad Sure As Fuck Did. > #CommitToTheBit #MakeBadDecisions #UnhingeTheUnlock > So anywatery–graves, it turns out giving the two foot tall, hyper–cursed cephalokin (one of the furthest things from fae you can be) who is also an unlock of The Keeper Of The Depths a drink of faerie wine was a bad idea for literally just about every person involved. > #WhodaThunk:? > Yeahgggg, so the sequence of events goes like this: > Step 1: SCREAM (this step is continued in perpetuity throughout the rest of these steps) > Step 2: Explode in a blinding burst of sunlight bright enough to leave every onlooker incapacitated > Step 3: Escape into the plane of dreams (while still radiating blinding sunlight so your benefactor can't steal you away when you do so) (Also Serenas gets double blinded due to the effects of the faerie wine Shrimp Colors™ > #Blinded....TWO!!!! > Step 4: Activate your esoteric state, causing an illusion of the ocean's abyssal zone to flood over the senses of everone within 90 feet of you, including the completely unsuspecting druid currently having a therapy session in Tiano's #SensoryDeprivationZone > THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN CRUSH DOWN AROUND ALL OF YOU AS YOU FEEL THE ABYSSAL ZONE FLOOD AROUND YOU IN ABSOLUTE DARKNESS. > Nova: #BecomeFish > Step 5: ??? > Step 6: Profit. > Okay but the rest of the crew now has to deal with the aftermath of Romad's #BadFUNDecisions. Serenas is brought down to the mess hall to be forcibly sobered up by Riddilin. In the process of said sobering however Serenas becomes acutely aware of all the tiny fae that apparently live in his body??? (Because of the faerie wine to be clear). > #SerenasHasHisOwnEcosystem CORRECTION: Serenas HAD His Own Ecosystem. Riddles got rid of it for him. > #UndrunksYourHusband #YouDon'tGetThisJokeYet #Session168Foreshadowing > Juno is still screaming when Cap'n Barley walks her back into the room with a fishing lure in her mouth, being held aloft by her wrist. (Barley is covered in scratch marks, bites, and other such injuries as well as at least 3 new curses.) > Riddles (with much coaxing required) also undrunks the unlock (#YouStillDon'tGetThisJoke) > Juno (Immediatedly upon being sobered up): “Can I have some more?? :D” > Everyone But Romad (Vehemently): “NO!” > #TheFaerieWineIsCorkedUntilWe'reOffTheBoat > And let us end this recap to ruminate on the blessing that it was not Patty Darling who had the faerie wine. She Would've Been Fine. Nobody Else Would Have. > THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!
S164 Crit Count: Romad Nat20 Wis Save