S174 Recap: Hearthfire Tales | Ep117: A Very Wearable Face

General Summary

Mom lore explained, lion paws tickled (WHAT ARE THOOOOSSSEEEEE.vine), and also Romad gets vibe checked simultaneously by all paladins present and is very pleased with this fact > #StubbornAndProud > also Romad's open admiration of Dadva makes Serenas realize his fiance is gonna want kids much sooner than previously thought > *cue Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye playing in the background* #♪WeoMwhehpWehWEAAAHHHH♪ > AnywehWEAHHHHs, we find ourselves at a building that would indiscernible from any of the others in the surrounding area if not for all the moonlight censers lighting the place up. Said moonlight also stops Romad from shapechanging (#Rude) and tries to force Zone of Truth on him (#Unacceptable, #NowI'mJustGoingToLieMORE) (It also applies it to everyone else but they just let it happen lol) > Dadva is just proudly bragging about his kid to literally every single person they pass until they get to the hearth lounge (say a lil prayer to Hestia) and the world enters sloowwwwwww mmoottiiioonnnnn when Dadva goes to squash Irati like a fly give his fellow father a hearty pat on the back. Luckily Kirin deftly #InverseSteps Irati out of the way of his impending injury but unfortunately ends up subjecting him to The Horrors™ of The Inverse's reflection of A} Chasla, and B} a location with permanent fear immunity wards over it that obvs get inverted to a dread fear effect ☻ > #Ain'tThatJustSwell? #Irati'sTurnToHaveNightmares > Luckily both of them make their save just barely, but Kirin only does so thanks to her tattoo which means #SurgeForTheSurgeGods! > … > …why is nothing happening…? > Huh, well I'm totally sure absolutely nothing will come of that and that it TOTALLY won't be with comedic and/or inopportune timing > #Totally #ForSure #JadeWouldNeverDoThat > Also this is when Iradan walks in and immediately gives Kirin that specific kind of judgement that only a family member who cares for you but will have to deal with exactly zero parts of the consequences of your actions can give. > #NotMyCircusButThatIsMyMonkey'sDaughter > Iradan also has that archtypical elven face that has exactly One (1) facial expression that Serenas finds comforting and reminescent of home and that Romad finds… well… I'll let him say it— > Romad (Speaking with the Utmost sincerity to Iradan): “You Have A Very Wearable Face!” > #0DaysSinceLastMicroAgression … Actually, No. I'm not sure WHAT that was but there was nothing micro about it. Iradan for what it's worth however is only somewhat plussed by the whole affair, more longsufferingly accustomed to the ways of the fae thanks to their old party members then most who interact with you fuckers. > Anyweirdos, Sir Timor takes the awkward silence following this interaction as an opportunity to convince his boss to finally let him go deal with that lion that's been terrorizing the area now that his cub's friends are here to pad out the numbers. This persuasion is greatly aided by Nova's nat20 #LionCubEyes pleading with Iradan from their dad's side > #HeSaidYes! #SideQuestAcquired:3 #CritCount1 > Okay but let's get some drinks to warm those bones! The DM then spends a tidy chunk of time elaborating on local speciality alchohol. Nova doesn't like it and Dadva is only mildly sad he won't get to bond with his kid over a good beer but refuses to let Nova be guilty about this > #OneOfTheMostDadsOfAllTime > Speaking of #DadsOfAllTime, Irati underestimates just how potent a sip of this moonshine ass concoction will have on his negative constitution having tiny bugass and gets a lil drunk about it. > #KnowYourLimitsDrinkWithinIt > We Now Take A Moment Of Drinking To Think About Diva. Diva Is Off Living Her Best Life By Giving This Dreary Ass Port City The Show Of Their Fucking Lives. To Make The Biggest Impact Possible She Has Made Sure None Of Her Travelling Companions Were With Her. > #HotGirlShit #DivaWeLoveYou > Also Gwyf asks if he can get some juice and while Kirin has the portable hole open he tries and fails to steal some extra while Romad is nat20 distracting Kirin > #CritCount2, #GoodCrits2, #BadCrits0, #FinalCritCount > Anywasccallywabbits, we then spend most of the rest of the session recounting our journeys once more, stopping every here and there to explain certain niche knowledge required to understand what the fuck we're talking about. Most importantly however, with Irati too drunk to notice in time and Isati preoccupied with her impending mental breakdown, nobody thinks to prevent Gwyf from seeing a graphic illusion showing that time Nova bit a cop in half > #HahaOops #9y/oWatchingSlasherFilmsAtHisFriend'sHouse > Also at some point in all this Romad asks about how paladins work in the weirdest way possible *insert a speedrun of name bullshit* and then goes on to be incredibly >>>>:3 about this acquired knowledge lmao > Also also at one point, Dadva gets all bashful about asking Nova if he can try on the #HugFromMom fir cloak and almost immediately takes it off and deflects away from acknowledging his emotions by asking Nova to wrastle > #EmotionallyStuntedFathers #He'sDoingHisBest (In his defence, he'd probably have let himself be more vulnerable if it was just Nova. But It Was Not Just Nova.) > Anywrastling, Nova kicks their dad's ass and once Sir Timor has got air back in his lungs, he laughs his ass off and goes right to inflicting his #DemigodStronky child on the other order members > ALRIGHT THAT'S ALL FOLKS! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR ACTUAL MOTH MELTDOWNS AND GOING HUNTING WITH DADVA!
S174 Crit Count: Nova Nat20 Lion Cub Eyes, Romad Nat20 Irritate