S51 Recap: A Parcel For Grandmother

General Summary

So firsts things first Nova cure wounds the Hot Tiefling Man™ > #HealTheMan #StopHavingHimBeHurt > Also Serenas can have little a druidic inspiration > #AsATreat > The Fallen Exile temporarily possesses Isati to eldritch blast the perytons again, killing one and leaving the other ripe for the picking > Cloud giant wouldn't kill his own pet monster just to dust Kor again (though maybe he should have) and instead takes his frustration out on Nova > #FuckingOUCH #11HitPointsRemaining > Serenas merks the cloud giant a nyoink more while Kirin finishes off the last homicidal deer–bird > Time for Kor > #FreshlyHealedAndReadyToHarm #Hammertime > The barbalock #RageRolls at the soon to be cloud jelly and proceeds to swing with so much momentum it lifts him so high he's eye level with the cloud giant as a falling star crashes into the back of his maul bringing it down on the one eyed giant's skull and spine with all the force of that good good #EldritchSmite > #TheySeeMeRollin #CrushedLikeAPopCan > After a quick check that no one's super hurt everybody comes to meet the marble tiefling man! > Kor: “I would love to hug you right now but I'm afraid I would break you...” > Isati (a *very* breakable lepidot): “That's okay! I can just hug you instead!” > #MothHugsBestHugs > Kor gains some weight for a hot minute so he can move the corpse away from the campsite and by some weight I mean he gains 4,662lbs ☺ > #Shit'sHeavyMan > Anyways while Kor's doing that let's get into the juicy bits! > #Literally > Romad (still holding the oozing, beach ball sized eye of a giant): “So what should we do with this?” > Gwyf: “Can I lick it? > Every Single Other Person Present: “NO!” > Gwyf: «◖‵ ′◗» > Seranas: “Wait... Can we send it to my grandmother‽‽‽ > The rest of the party, reminding everyone that they are in fact the same people who laughed at the fir darrigs using the mutilated corpse of another rat boi for prop comedy: YES! DO IT! > #ThisIsNotTheDungeonOfGoodDecisions #TormentingShittyGrandmasIsATimeHonoredTradition > Plans now set in stone, Romad puts the eyeball into their portable hole as is, getting blood and viscera all over the rest of their shit. > #KirinLeftUsUnsupervisedSoReallyIt'sHerFault > We then get some quality time with Hot Boi Kor and a bunch of exposition on how the fuck he ended up crash landing in the middle of their camp pursued by bear an angry giant > TL;DR: Kicked his son's ass so he could win these fancy new gauntlets which he needs to fuck up The Eternal Citadel > Why? “Because I'm Trans and it kept putting my tits back on whenever I cut them off.” > #ThisOneIsPersonal > “Oh there's also a good chance His lover might be there.” > #OhShit! > It is at this moment that Kor shrinks back to his normal height and we realize Gwyf has taken up residence on the back of Kor's head > Isati: “Gwyf! You can't just cling to people's heads without permission!” > Gwyf: «◖‵ ′◗» > #He'sAStatueTho #Can'tDoAnythingFunAroundHere #StatuesArePeopleToo(Sometimes) > At one point the punks relay their own tales of adventure to Kor but other than that and a brief discussion on the relation of beans and peas for purpose of growing magical plant stalks (which we'll come back to in the morning) the gang retires for the night > #FadeToBlack #It'sMorningNowBtw > Knick-knack is dissuaded from cooking the cursed monster flesh for breaks and the punks harvest some bits and bobs from the perytons > When Kirin learns just where the eye is being stored she speedruns the stages of grief just in time for Romad to transfer management of said silk hankie over to her > #EverythingIsGrossNow #HonestlyWasn'tExpectingToJustBeHandedThisButSureWhyNot > As the party gears up to set off, Kor requisitions the cursed pea and, against the advice of the party, decides to take the slain giant's corpse back up with him. > Nova: “So how big of a beanstalk does this make?” > Kor: “Let's just say I'm gonna need you all to step about 30 feet back.” > #WeDoThat > “And so Kor plants the pea right next to the giant, gives a quick wave, and disappears from sight with a great rumbling as a massive vine sprouts from the soil and into the sky at great speed.” > #ItCouldDoThatTheWholeTimeLol #HopeThere'sNoChthoniaNearby > And That's Where We'll Pick Up Next Week!

Notes

The Fallen Exile & Eternal Citadel are both the creation and property of Genuine Fantasy Press to which I hold no connection or authority over.