S95 Recap: Return Of The Beast | Ep.38: Oh So It Was A Joke {He Says, Throwing Away A Large Rock}

General Summary

“As you all panic & react to the reappearance of a nightmare of days past, to that which killed Isati all those months ago and set you on this journey home… Kirin remembers a dream she had forgotten! > #☻ #HangOffThatCliffForJustALittleLongerLmao > so yeah anyways Kirin relives a funky memory of her going insane isn't that crazy? > #Literally #TotallyNotACultist > Knockin back that good good forbidden knowledge, young miss Aecasi immediately starts to yelp and yowl > #TormentedCriesAnyone? #No?MoreForMeThenLmao > Ok now here's where shit gets fucky because get this right? Those yelp reviews actually created an inkcat and that bitch SPOOKY so obvs we tryna get away right? Obvs. So anyways we start chasing after it cuz it's terrifying and we wanna be as far from that bitch as possible. > #ThinkinUpsidedown&Backwards #WaitI'veSeenThisPlaceBefore > starting to get the picture Kirin searches for tracks in the stone floor, finding the chalk guidelines she made on the ceiling > #Wat0_o #When'dThatHappen > Aaaannddd, we're immersed again. > #NoLucidityForYouMs.Dreamer > We smol. Which like, yeah, school hallways will do that to you sometimes lmao > we BIG. Also what's with this fancy ass place? > #GildedPillarsAndStainedGlassWindows > We try to turn left so we instead turn right because that's how that works right? > “You're Late.” > #ExertSomeMoreControlThisTime,EhCoco? > “You Stop. And you see what you couldn't bear to watch before.” > #You'llForgetAgainSoonTho #SorryNotSorry > anyways I've stalled for long enough so Kirin in that stopping ends up at home looking out through the mirror which is wild, we all go “?!?”, it's great, the inkcat is out there in the real world but Kirin goes to pull pack so she can reach out & touch the kitty > #StartingWithTheMollyInTheMirror #NowYou'reThinkinUpsidedown&Backwards! > pit pat goes the cat and boom! She be in the real (dream) world & the inky bitch be in the mirror! > #UnoReverseCard > Also she can see in the dark now! > #BlessingOfErebos > #SnapBackToRealityOopThereGoesIsati > But Yeah! Trauma Time ☻ > Nova & Romad both bail out the carriage at speed, Romad taking the path of least resistance, & Nova utilizing #DemiGodStronk and also (renowned kobold physicist) Newt–Ahn's first law of motion just leaps straight forward, over Knick-Knack & the horses; punching the lions out of their skin in the same motion > #AverageEverydaySuperHero #ThreePointLanding #CritCount1 #GoodCrits1 > Ok as much as I enjoy reliving all the shenanigans y'all pull, I've gotten in the habit of making these recaps so long when I really don't need to > #TheseAreSupposedToBeFunny #WatchTheVodForActualDeetsLol > So anyways we're all #FreakingOutActingOut, Romad goes to stab a beasty bitch with his hand and instead gets a beefy bitch > #FuckYou #You'reRide'sWackBish #GetBetterTaste > Said beefy bitch is in fact a fully armoured knight with his own set of tusks peakin out of that helm who's only response is to send vines to ensnare Romad who shrugs them off with ease > #StrongSilentTypeThisOne #CritCount2 #GoodCrits2 > Some other shit happens (so many crits) that makes the jaguar realize real quick “Hey! Thassa LEVEL TWENTY OATH OF ANCIENTS PALADIN!!!” > #CritCount4 #GoodCrits3 #BadCrits1 > “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh… Oh we fucked up. We Have Fucked Up Now. Now We Have Fucked Up.” > #LmaoYeah > Kirin Tries Diplomacy! It Does NOT Go Well. > #CritCount5 #GoodCrits3 #BadCrits2 #WelpYouTried > Serenas however (w/ #GoodCritWisSave) regains his noble compusure, realizes Romad insulted this motherfucker's equivalent of Horse Faelyn, and starts running damage control to much more success (even getting some #GoodCritInsight into the dude when the party starts explaining their traumatic backstory) > #NobleSensibilities+HighCharisma #SorryKirin #CritCount7 #GoodCrits5 #BadCrits2 #FinalCritCount > But yeah, turns out this bitch was trackin down ol' #WhistleBitch Fer Doirich because he stole a toskra'ta guardian spirit > #DidYourJobForYouOrcDude #UrWelcomeBTW > (Also to be clear, the paladin is communicating solely via sign language) > #Nonverbal > The party then has an existential crisis over whether Nova has another magic thing kicking around in their head/soul > #Lmao #NotThisTime #ButItWould'veBeenFunnyHuh > (“AHHH FUCK!” … ”Nova I'm going to fucking kill you!, #WeeklyOutOfContextQuote #DiveRagepit #RheaWon'tLikeThatLol) > Anyways Nova's all “Hey here's the weapons I killed the bitch with if those'll help” and the dude pops that divine sense to get a feel for them only to point off in the grass before signing “So are the other fae with y'all too?“ > “Oh fuck” > #FuckinRatBois #ExcuseUsWhileWeObliterateThem #MinorInconvenience > One [faerie fire + firebolt + multiple arrows + being ripped to shreds by lions] later the fir darrigs explode into poppy petals and we return to out regularly scheduled nonsense > #HappensAllTheTime #GetFuckedRatBois #ToShredsYouSay? > “Oh yeah, it's not often they send anyone out of the jungle on official business so I'm also looking for an ancient daywalker orc, and a 'Great Corrupter' that steals the essence of life itself from the land and nature, leaving behind only desecration; I know it's stretch but if that rings any bells, lemme know.” / “ Oh actually we know about both those things, here have more info dumps.” > #WeGotchuFam #Huh #Wasn'tExpectingThatToWorkTbh > After some #TranslationTroubles our new paladin friendo introduces himself as “Grímnir Níðhöggrsund” which in common roughly translates to “Masked Person of the Root Gnawer's Sounder” > #Neat > Anyways, we're like half an hour past usual cutoff time so he peaces out & we get back in motion ourselves, leaving us to pick up the pieces next week! > And that's where we'll pick up next week? Nahhhhh. Next recap's just down the hallway and to your right lmao

S95 Crit Count: Nova Nat 20 Athletics, Romad Nat 20 strength save, Toskra nat1 dex save, Kirin Nat 20 Intelligence check, Kirin Nat 1 Persuasion, Serenas Nat20 wisdom save, Serenas Nat20 Insight