S97 Recap: Rude Awakenings | Ep.40: Books & Beards

General Summary

“LIKE IN MINECRAFT‽‽‽” > #WeeklyOutOfContextQuote > Nova: “I'mma #Protecc” / Corayas: “I'm going to dream a lil dream where I fuck a bitch up” > #IncorrectQuotes #LightningBolt > DM: “Yes but also you're gonna #SurgeForTheSurgeGods because you called on the Tides Of Chaos last session ☻” > Corayas then peeps the year 2022 through a dream bubble and all of the sudden, he is also 22 > #Wild(Magic) #We'llProcessThatLater > Anyways, the party is boring and prepared for this circumstance so Serenas just pulls the book out of Kirin's bags and drops it in front of the retriever (#Booooooo) > He then Nat20 prays to Rhea & Aphrodite because why not (Also Knick-Knack #GoodCrits initiative even without luck points & Gwyf is a #SleepyBoy with nat1 iniative) > #CritCount3 #GoodCrits2 #BadCrits1 > #TheGodsAlreadyLoveYou–ThisIsJustExcessiveLmao (“No but that's why we're like this!”) > “Oh you were charging up some eye beams? Sure would be a shame if a random branch with an adamantine pebble lodged in it gave ya a lil poke and blew those beams up in your face ☻” > #RandomMisfortune #AlsoKnick-KnackDipsWithTheMoths > Romad on the other hand absolutely just goes in on the bitch lol > #RogueRage(SansRage) #ThankYou > Diva is very upset at being woken up from her beauty sleep and she will make that the retriever's problem > #DivaBeDiva–ing #PyrotechnicsBitch > Unfortunately in trying to slow motion walk away from the explosion like the dramatic bitch she is, the (successfully blinded despite a +10 Con save mind you) retriever fucking stabs her through the shoulder for nearly half her hit points > #0_o #Oops #Could'veShedSkinButNoooo #HadToCommitToTheAesthetic #DivaWillBitchAboutThisForDaysIfNotWeeks #That'sAPromise > Nova Also Nat 20 Prays For The Spooder To Just Take The Book And Leave > #BecauseWhyNot #CritCount4 #GoodCrits3 #BadCrits1 > Corayas casts some scorching rays at it just in case but I forget to ask for a surge check > #AndI'mSadAboutIt > Kirin prepares to do #HotGirlShit but we'll come back to that in a second. > #TisRoboSpooderTurn > “So.” … “It picks up the book somehow (#WeAreSuspendingOurDisbelief) but is very confused because it's quarry was a magical book called the “Tome of Seduction” and it now holds a completely non–magical book titled “Tome of Seduction.” > 0_o Hmmmmmmmmmmm o_0 > o_0 #WonderHowThatHappened 0_o > IfAnythingHappensToScribius.png > Luckily the prayers are answered and the spi–dude dips > Selah: “Ah yes, that's my cue to Act Unwise.” > #TimeFor#HotGirlShit #Hashtag–ception > “Kirin you're a nerd smart. You were told not even an hour ago by your perception how Liatris did a Very Similar thing to what you are about to attempt. You do not have a negative Wisdom mod. Do you still wish to proceed with this plan of yours?” / Kirin(But really Vanity): “But I இ௰இ, I was gonna இ௰இ இ௰இ, awwww

fiiiiine. I wont do the thing (；/_ \)…” > #NoFistFightingGodForYouTonight #SelahWillBeSadAboutThisForDaysIfNotWeeks #That'sAnEducatedGuess > Isati was also praying but she chose Athena so no roll happens due to said goddess's line being unavailable > #Faded #It'sTheThoughtThatCounts > We now take a hot minute to be wildly concerned about Kirin still being unable to wake up. It is very cute & angsty but we're gonna just gonna jump cut past the emotions because these recaps are about comedy > “It's been four years!” / “It's Been What?!” > #Oops #TooFarLmao #RunItBackNowY'all > So anywhatzits, Nova makes another Nat20 prayer, this time to any sleep god they can think of or that'll listen. > #CritCount5 #GoodCrits4 #BadCrits1 #ReligionSolvesAllYour #NOPE (Couldn't even finish writing that one lol) > But yeah anywhomsies, Nova hears the voice of Corayas in his head say “She's fine, it'll just be another hour at most.” > Nova: “??????” > ETA (Estimated Time of Awakening) relayed to the rest of the party, Nova immediately switches to infernal & requests a private conversation w/ Corayas. > #NovaDoesNotLookAtCorayasAtAnyPointDuringThis #That'sASurpriseToolThat'llHelpUsLater.png > Corayas (unaware in character but OoC, Camilo knows exactly what he's doing): “Can I sit in your lap?” > #Nova.exeHasStoppedWorking > Nova (Completely Serious & Literal in Intent): “Corayas are you a god?” / (He is not.) / Corayas (Completely Genuine) “Am I A God???”(No.) “Oh man, maybe I am” (You are not.) > #HeresyHijinks #HowToGetSmote101 > “Oh actually y'know what it was probably Ório.” (It Was.) > It is now that Nova finally looks at Corayas and we finally process that Corayas is in fact 4 years older than he was a few minutes ago which includes much longer hair and also a beard > #ItIsNowLater #Baby–FacedToBushyBeardSpeedRun2k18 > Nova: “You have a beard now.” / “Yeah I'm 22 now!” / “I thought you were 18?” / “I was a few minutes ago but now I'm 22 :D” > #A+Dialogue > With this relevation firmly in mind we return to camp just in time for… > Corayas (Looking Wildly Older): “It's been four years!” / Kirin (just waking up after meeting someone trapped in fey time fuckery and now incredibly distressed): “It's Been What?!” > #WeirdSoupResolved > Kirin is swiftly consoled, shit is explained, a fully healed Diva flops over the jaguar dramatically > #AsSheDo > Also Serenas immediately jumps at the chance to braid Corayas' hair and teach him how to shave > #PlayingWithCorayas'Hair #TimeHonouredPartyTradition > Oh yeah also he saves himself & Corayas a lot of pain by #GoodCrit recognizing Ura root salve lmao > #CritCount6 #GoodCrits5 #BadCrits1 #FinalCritCount > Aight Y'all, next session is the last main campaign one before summer and this recap could potentially be posted before than, in which case, See Y'all Next Week!!!!!! (And then I peace out for two month's lmao) (It was not, see y'all in a few seconds lol)

S97 Crit Count: Serenas Nat 20 Prayer (to Aphrodite & Rhea), Knick-Knack Nat20 Initiative, Gwyf Nat1 Initiative, Nova Nat20 Prayer (Same Goddesses), Nova Nat20 religion check (sleep gods, Ório answered), Serenas Nat20 Herbalism,