Osberger ES Michelangelo
Written by: Coupe
Every now and then you come across something that just shouldn't have been, but through someone's sheer determination managed to lurch on through the trials and actually end up somewhere. The Michelangelo, Micky to its doting drivers, is an armored truck/SUV that's rolling out of various factories in North Carolina and is looking to end up into the hands of every budget-conscious security corp, militia and prepper in the CAS, and for good reason: It's dirt-cheap, devoid of pretty much anything but the bare necessities, and tough enough to T-bone an armored-up GMC Bulldog and keep careening into a McHugh's. Like I said, the Micky wasn't really supposed to come out of concept in the first place. Noah Osberger came down to his company's design-bureau looking to make, in his words, 'the new humvee', an all-in-one 4x4 package of a ride that would provide everything an HTR unit would ever want in a transport vehicle. The bureau quickly concluded this wasn't going to be feasible in the time alloted, but the size of the budget Osberger was willing to throw into it made those conclusions seem a little less significant. So they took the money and paid lipservice to the project while doing everything they can to siphon the cash into their own personal projects, figuring they'd make up for the lack of results with their own innovations. Spoiler: It didn't turn out like that. Just about every penny of misappropriated cash was wasted on one dead end after another, and the leaders of the project were going to end the fiscal year empty-handed. Figuring anything was better than nothing at this point, one of the project leaders bought a Nissan Hauler SUV second-hand and dolled it up with a Potemkin-facade of armor and a fancy but non-functional interior until it looked something like a cross between an icecream-van and a tank, optimistically hoping that they could pass it off as a 'concept' vehicle and buy some time. When Osberger finally came down to see, he wasn't fooled by the sham of a presentation for a second... but surprisingly, he liked the concept regardless. After making very sure the project leaders wouldn't pull the same stunt again, Osberger took direct control of the project. Everything nonessential was stripped from the Hauler, the rear of the chassis was lowered to make room for a full transport-compartment, and slowly the team built up an impressive armored truck on the bare bones, cutting out as many luxuries and additions as possible so they could cram all the armor and transport-room they could into the back of the vehicle without overtaxing the frame (or the new budget). It's an understatement to say that the finished product wasn't complex, but it didn't need any complexity, because even with the costs that would come from licensing the Hauler parts, construction was so cheap they could sell it at around the same price as a regular Hauler and still make a healthy profit. Osberger single-handedly turned an internal embezzling scam into one of the company's better assets. At least, that's how the story goes. It's told differently every time, along with the story of how it got to be called the Michelangelo. Either way, it's already made a presence in repeat-customer Dragoon Tactical Investments'.s garages painted in their iconic blue hues, and other buyers are already lining up to grab a few. Private sales are also up, but good luck staying inconspicuous in one of these things.
Nickname
Micky
Motto
"Raw, But Tough."
Manufacturer
Price
32,000¥
Rarity
12R
Speed
3/3G
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