President Elijah Kelley
Mr. Elijah Maxwell Kelley (a.k.a. Mr. President)
Written by: Tahoma
Nearly every big city's got at least one fella who's pulled off something so famous (or infamous), that they become a walking tourist-destination, with visitors of the city pouring out of busses to snap a photo or get an autograph. In Raleigh, that guy is Elijah Kelley, standing president of the Unitary State of Kelley, a family-owned micronation on the outskirts of Raleigh and shining example of what a mixture of booksmarts, libertarian dreams and a little insanity can get you if you try hard enough. Now don't get me wrong, Eli's a swell guy who sincerely believes in his minarchist ideals, and from all accounts of his staff-turned-citizens, he's a nice guy to work under. Matter of fact, if you're reading this cache you might be working for him sometime in the near future yourself! That's right, Raleigh's own Emperor Norton is headhunting for 'discreet assets' to help him solidify his claim to sovereignity and acquire a little extra land to expand on top of that, and on top of fat stacks of cash, he'll even give you honorary citizenship and a swank baseball-hat. Not a bad deal, eh chummer?Physical Description
General Physical Condition
Shouldn't surprise you to learn that Eli's got his fair share of cyberware, mostly related to supplementing his charm with pheremones but recently there's been evidence that he might have gotten some combat-related chrome under the skin. I had our specialist look at some uncovered medical details, here's hoping they'll find out specifics.
Unfortunately, the records uncovered from the UNC School of Medicine don't give specifics as they only elaborate on routine maintenence of cyberware. What we can safely estimate from the commentary is that Elijah has implanted ballistic subdermal-weave (noted by the physician requesting specialty tools to observe organs beneath the weave without disturbing it), and that his cybereyes are now running smartgun fire-control software. We'll report as we find out more.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
Ol' Eli was born to the late and great Maude and Juan Kelley, renowned libertarian socialites, long-standing career-politicians and now remembered as the co-founders of the USK. As you'd expect, being born a Troll among Elves made Eli's formative years awkward, especially considering that the only other non-Elf metahumans on the estate were low-end servants and security. A fact not helped by Eli being the only child born healthy, first among a long and tragic line of stillbirths.
Growing up, Elijah developed an optimistic edge to the business accumen being taught upon him by his parents, writing essay after thesis about how a ' society of independant prosperity' is the best route for metahuman-kind to take, as well as showing a sincere believe in Noblesse Oblige, the idea that people in positions of wealth and power have an ethical duty to tend to society, particularly the less advantaged. As you'd expect, a Troll making hooplah about charity in earshot of the CAS's rich and wealthy made a fair bit controversy, and that controversy meant trouble for his parents' continued employment, as the bigwigs in city-hall made not-so-subtle jabs at the two for raising their kid to be so 'intrusive' and how their career would be in jeapordy if it wasn't halted.
I'd call it racism, but let's face it: Elijah could've been an Aryan Elf and they'd still want his head on a pike for advocating generosity.The Kelleys eventually got the hint and announced their joint-retirement from politics, something they insist was already on the agenda as they passed retirement-age, but still taken very personally by Elijah, who felt slighted not just at the city-council for what he felt was bullying, but at the CAS as a whole for their overall non-reaction to this whole thing, and he decided he wasn't going to let Raleigh forget it so easily. Selling all his assets outside of the family estate, Elijah began construction of buildings on his own grounds that would facilitate some unknown enterprise involving merchandise and luxury-accomodation. When the local authorities began asking questions about things like taxes and permits, Elijah responded by setting a trid-projector infront of the estate's gates that listed a Declaration of Secession, originally signed by Maude Kelley in the early 2030s as a half-serious attempt at a tax-dodge but now being put into official order by Elijah himself as he declared the Kelley Estate and its surrounding grounds to be sovereign territory, a save-haven from what he called the 'CAS's carefully tended bog of hypocrisy'. Much to the frustration of Raleigh's bigwigs, the loophole-dependant declaration that Eli based his scheme on was airtight, courtesy of Maude's sharp eye for contractual law. A few attempts were made to pull the newly-founded Unitary State of Kelley into line, but as more family-members and staff of the estate started backing Elijah up as he built up the means to be self-sufficient from the city, the city-council was losing momentum quickly.
In delicious irony, it was Eli's sense of 'Noblesse Oblige' that led to most of the staff staying, who had mixed opinions of the somewhat aloof family but supported Eli in earnest, considering him 'legit' in his generous treatment of employees and his values of independant charity, even if they openly considered him naive and a little unhinged for having those views in the 70s.The final nail in the coffin came from Eli's 'diplomatic visit' to Raleigh's city-center, eating at a small dining-establishment he once enjoyed as a citizen of Raleigh, while two Troll associates of his threw out merchandise and took commemorative snapshots of the magnanimous 'President Eli' adressing his audience of amused locals and tourists, telling them how they could soon visit the nation of Kelley as tourists and honored guests. Almost all media lampooned Elijah as being completely off his rocker, and understandably so considering how much he had sunk into his micronation scheme, but for whatever reason the public instantly adored the crazy son of a gun, and public outcry and accusations of racism started pouring in about the city-council's treatment of the Unitary State of Kelley and its president, forcing them to withdraw and concede to Elijah's sovereignity.
It's a popular urban legend that Mayor Jimmy Spears's visit to Kelley was instrumental in his re-election, having been caught in the crossfire of the council's initial reaction to Eli's declaration, but they say the same thing about him owning a Shi Tzu, so...Since then, Eli's more or less embraced his role as president of a micronation that by all rights shouldn't really exist, but continues to do so under his optimism, hard work and pig-headed ignorance of the impossible. His presidential-visits to Raleigh aren't as frequent these days as he's made good on his promise to focus on his administrative duties and begin plans on procuring new land for the state to expand. Raleigh's government have had no choice but to accept this man as a sovereign and diplomat, and recently have even began playing along with the whole thing, having joined Eli once or twice for a burger and soycaf at the diner Ali still finds time to eat at a few times a month.
Education
Put it this way chummer: If it's related to business or politics, he's taken some kind of fancy certification in it.
Employment
Formerly CEO of 'Stroob Applied-Materials', currently President of the USK.
Personality Characteristics
Savvies & Ineptitudes
Eli fancies himself as something of a Renaissance-Troll, and to his credit he actually has good claim to it: Leading a micronation, managing its business-affairs, making diplomatic visits, he does all of it to a noteworthy degree of success while also making a succesful living selling guns he makes in his spare time. Eli's a man with a plan, but only so long as there's a plan, mind you, and anyone can tell you that he's not at his best when it comes to thinking on his feet, demonstrated by his response to a heckler at city-hall.
Said reaction also gives ample proof of Mr. President knowing how to throw a punch.
Current Location
Honorary & Occupational Titles
President of the Unitary State of Kelley
Year of Birth
2031
49 Years old
Children
Pronouns
He/Him
Eyes
Brown, Prosthetic
Hair
Bald, formerly black
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
Tanned
Height
8'1''
Weight
701 lb.
Ruled Locations
Comments