He’s the elf all the bad guys want

On the train, Lightning Rail, and I’m gonna
Get some payback with a vial of toxic Sporing
When in he walks, an elven bard dripping glamour
There’s loads of zombies, but compared to him they’re boring

And when he talks
Everyone gets buffed, they’re going to win
But he doesn’t notice me!

‘Cause he’s asking half-elves
About their sex lives
What the hell? It’s midnight
Can’t you prioritise?

Hanging out with royalty
He’s looking through me
It’s not fair, even Molly
Gets more attention than me
As I fail miserably
Tryin’ to get the elf all the bad guys want.
He’s the elf all the bad guys want!

He likes fancy clothes and I like wearing armour
It’s so hard when you’re captain of the guard to show how you feel
He’s the vassal to the prince, a bard and yet far more
He’ll never know that I’m the best that he’ll never have

And when he walks
All the wind blows and the angels sing
He’ll never notice me!

‘Cause he is reading history
Spending time with Molly
Looking up old books
Can’t I get a second look?
He hangs out with a large crowd
And they all seem so loud
Oh! He’s passing by
Please notice me senpai!

It’s like a sad story
He is looking through me
Sadly it’s not to be
Corvus won’t notice me
As I fail miserably
Trying to get the elf all the bad guys want
He’s the elf all the bad guys want

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