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Minion

The minion role is the backbone of our current society. The invisible strength of the villains, enabling them to fulfill their schemes and shift the balance of power around so no one gets too comfortable at the top of the political pyramid. No villain would be anything without the people they can trust to carry out the pieces of the plan.  

Ubiquitous

  You probably know at least one minion. It's estimated that around five percent of the population has been a minion at some point. Which makes sense. Whether you need that one loyal servant or an entire army, every villain needs at least a few people as backup. And since there's a lot of villains, that means there's a lot of minions.

Career

Qualifications

Pretty much anyone can become a minion. Some supervillains will have specific requirements, but this type of job does tend to attract people willing to lie about anything, including their qualifications, so if anyone gets uppity and claims they have higher standards, they're deluding themselves.

Career Progression

The typical career path is minion to lieutenant to chief lieutenant to supervillain. If you survive past the minion phase and actually want to move to progress, your chances are pretty good at eventually reaching that final phase. You'll find that unless you want to directly usurp someone's name, most villains are pretty supportive of their minions branching out on their own. That's how you get the best allies.

Payment & Reimbursement

Depends on the villain. You can't go into this sort of work expecting a regular salary. Advantages are, no tax reporting because crimes and theft. Disadvantages are that the amount of money you get really depends on who hired you and what sort of stuff they're aiming to do.   If you minion for a thief, you're likely to get decent payouts, but more sporadically and there's higher risk associated with the higher rewards. Also, you're usually paid in things you helped steal which means the value depends on how good you are at fencing goods.   If you're there for scientific purposes, you can usually count on a fairly steady paycheck. If there's a cover organization, you'll likely have to pay taxes, but you can probably push a lot of profit off into unknown spheres. Not as much money, and more overhead costs since you'll be maintaining a cover story, but more reliable.   If it's more political or about chaos or something of a less tangible end goal, good luck. These sorts of things are highly variable, but not in a way that includes money. You'll probably want to pick up a side hussle or steal things on your own.

Other Benefits

You're already on the wrong side of most governments so why bother following most of the rules? There's no reason not to be a good neighbor, of course. But it's hard to fuss over unpaid parking tickets when you're planning on taking down police communications tomorrow.   E/N: For me, I liked to bring food in places where it wasn't allowed. Trespassing is also a fun one.   If you want to be a supervillain, this is a surefire way to do it. You make plenty of friends and allies in the business, have a good chance at finding a decent mentor who can show you the ropes, and develop a bit of early notoriety.   Development of superpowers is second to none. The people around you are invested in your rapid success, the challenging situations mean you'll be pushing yourself, and villains are also generally willing to explore the full range of one's abilities in a way that heroes shy from. Not that you're expected to kill people, necessarily, but knowing what you're capable of is a very good thing.   My personal favorite benefit for minions is that they can locate and go after phone scammers and porch pirates more easily and convince them to give up their work.

Perception

Purpose

To assist a supervillain in a wide variety of tasks, both professional and personal, usually of a criminal variety although quite frequently of a semi-legal gray area.

Social Status

Depends who you ask. You can usually figure out who the secret superhero in a gathering is by their unequivocal answer to this question being "the lowest of the low." Literally no one else thinks that.   Most city people tend to view it as unskilled blue collar labor, something you can eventually become good at but with minimal barrier to entry. And in most cities, this tends to be true. You get a bunch of villains looking for temp help or people to stock or guard a warehouse. This is not always the case, but you get enough   It's a fairly common middle class career for everywhere else, since less concentrated populations mean a minion position is probably a more long term relationship there. Considered a viable way of working your way out of a small town.   The universal similarity is that you don't talk about it. If you outright say you're a minion, your social status instantly goes down because it's meant to be a secret and it's not like it's hard to make up a cover job equivalent. So you're not just a minion, you're inherently a dumb minion.

Demographics

Less than people think but more than the government counts. In a lot of cases, minion work is not always something you know that you're doing, depending on how many shell companies might be involved. And for the rest of it, this is not exactly a job that you claim you're doing. (See "social status".)   As a rough estimate (because this is all we can do) I would say probably five percent of the working adult global population are working directly for villains. This of course doesn't count industries like mercenaries or arms dealers or the average viral lab because they tend to hire out to the highest bidder. Not everyone is aware that they work for a villain in this number, and I would lower the percentage who are aware of their leanings to about three percent. Including those who "know" but never ask because who wants that risk?   This includes a wide range of individuals. On paper, none above upper middle class, but that's because any minion worth their salt isn't reporting their income.

History

Minions have been a part of the villain industry since there was an industry. Every visionary needs assistance to see their task through, and since most of the described villains have set themselves large, even grandiose tasks, they need a lot of assistance.   It has changed very little over the years. How much respect they get from their employers has shifted somewhat over the years, and also depends on where you are and who you're working for. There will always be those people who are seeking companions in their quest, and also those looking for borderline slave labor. And of course, those in between.   Minions don't have unions, but they do have the ability to kill their bosses if they get too cruel. They can also always tell the authorities about the whole operation, or set up their own hub of villainy, so the amount of competition means that things don't usually get too horrible, which means that on the whole minions as a concept have remained the same over the centuries.

Operations

Tools

The specifics can depend on exactly what sort of minion you are, but if you're looking to invest in some basics before being hired, there are a few standard pieces of equipment you could invest in.   Signal jammer. Honestly, this one is just common sense. You should have this anyway. Not to have it turned on all the time because that would be suspicious, but sometimes you just want that extra reassurance that the government isn't listening in on your conversations.   Ranged weapon and appropriate training. Doesn't matter if you go out for something weird like an antique crossbow or if you get a basic pistol. You will need a weapon and you will wnat to be able to prove that you can use it. Saves on training and makes you more appealing to hire.   Close quarters combat training. I recommend learning how to use some sort of bladed weapon or bludgeon, but you can go the unarmed route. Same as above, you'll need this skill anyway so you might as well get ahead of it.   Night vision apparatus. Some reliable way to get around at night. This is when you'll be doing a lot of work, so being prepared to get around without running into every trip wire is just sensible. You could also just get one of those nice heavy flashlights that can be used as a weapon and double up with the above item.   Really, none of these things are essential to have, but they'll make you more appealing as an employee since it makes you look prepared for what's coming.

Materials

Again, depends on the type of minion you're looking at. Basic level, there's not a lot of supplies required for the day to day average stuff. You'll mostly just want to have cash or some other kind of currency on you, for bribes and to pay for snacks. Other than that, your specific villain will have specific jobs in mind that will shift around what you're dealing with.

Workplace

Variable! Again. You could work in a lab, in an office, undercover in a bank, undercover at some agency, undercover at literally anywhere. There's underwater bases, mountain bases, volcano bases, frozen tundra bases, space bases, all sorts of different secret bases that could involve a lot of different working conditions. You'll have to decide what your tolerances are and what sort of work you'll want to pursue.    The standard place of work that you will spend at least some time in, no matter what sort of villain you are employed by, is the warehouse. Sometimes this is a temporary base, sometimes it's a staging area, sometimes it's a legit storage area. But you will experience the warehouse at some point as a minion.   Important to make sure you keep your tetanus shot up to date, and that you're not afraid of spiders or rats or insects or alligators or feral cats. Actually, as a minion, it's probably best to be at least tolerant of all types of living creatures.   Also important to note that even the most senior lieutenant will occasionally find themselves shifting boxes in a warehouse, so just be prepared for that. Attempting a doctor's note excuse will merely result in you being outfitted with some sort of cyborg apparatus to get the job done. Or you'll be fired. (Remember the no union thing? Besides, if you physically can't do part of the job, you should either submit to experimentation to fix it or else find something you can achieve. No hard feelings, just practical.)

Provided Services

As you might suspect, this is not a job where you would expect to get health insurance and an in-office gym. Which is not to say there aren't benefits, you just have to be more creative in finding them.   You have automatic access to black markets across the globe. While that usually includes things that are illegal to get, it also can include higher quality normal items that are made unavailable for the public for whatever reason, or variations that are tricky to find. You have to do your research since there's less quality control, but you can find all sorts of things that you might want, at lower prices than most other places. For most things. (Main thing about it is no taxes.)   It's a bit of a tradeoff, but as a minion you have immunity against attacks by some other villains who might be allied. So you can pay a bit less for housing because you'll be able to live comfortable in areas that might be labelled as unsafe for normal people.   Access to the latest tech is a huge thing. It's not always so useful for you personally, but it is out there and with the right arguments your boss can usually get it for you.   The biggest perk to being a minion (at least for those aware of the fact), is having access to a supervillain in a friendly capacity. They're not trying to kill you, they're not going to go after you. You are safe from this person, and can even call on their aid if something happens.   E/N: And the fact that they might use your family against you if you dare to cross them is besides the point, of course. That is at least more of an archaic way of doing it. Some people still go that far, but most people on all sides of the issue acknowledge that families stay out of it. Gives you a bad name to do otherwise, and then you've got no minions. The marketplace is developed enough that villains have to be careful to maintain their reputations as decent employers.

Dangers & Hazards

Numerous hazards exist in this profession, obviously. The risk of death or maiming is higher than most, and chance that you'll be arrested or have to go on the run is almost a guarantee. Despite the perks and the general lack of government interference in your paycheck, it's not an easy gig.   E/N: The biggest drawback is how it consumes your life. Once you become a minion, commit a crime, side with a villain, it's extraordinarily rare to later back out unscathed, to retire peacefully with no threat of someone coming after you. Most of the time you get just enough charges early on when you're not as good at covering your tracks that it's impossible to keep your public record clean.   Essentially, it's for life. Most people who break away from a villain either go with another villain or else join some sort of agency doing what they used to, but for the good guys. This isn't a job, it's a career, and sometimes people choose it before they know what they're doing. Unless you're one of the lucky ones, you will be doing this forever.
Alternative Names
Sidekick, assistant, grunt, lackey, follower, etc.
Demand
High
Legality
Highly illegal, obviously. You don't just tell someone you're a minion unless you really want to end up in trouble with the law and with your boss who counted on you being smart enough to not tell people that you're planning on committing crimes on their behalf.   Again, I prefer to see the advantage of this. Since it's not really a legal career, it's not legal income, and thus no taxes.

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