Death Doula

An advocate for the dying

On the Search of the Good Death

Death Doulas originated on the smaller and (then) self-isolated island of Stunveldt.

On the Stunveldti culture, death is taken with reverence and kindness, but with a lot more openness than in the rest of the archipelago, being considered a passageway into eternity, which one has to aim to help their loved ones go through in peace and good company.

It is a deep cultural belief in their nation that all kinds of love, be it fraternal, romantic, platonic, or otherwise carry with them the responsibility of helping the loved one achieve a Good Death: One filled with love, with cheerfulness and relaxation, without worries or regrets.

One of the consequences of these cultural ideas is the revered, deeply respected job of professional Death Doulas: A person, usually (but not necessarily) of neutral gender, whose job is to act as an advocate and companion of those going through the process of dying and ensure they are comfortable on their final moments.

A death doula will help the dying person sort their pending affairs, ease their anxieties and worries, and prepare their deathbed. Once their client is ready for dying, the death doula will gather the person's loved ones and comfort their client, making sure they are surrounded by pleasant things and sensations and helping their body be free of aches and tensions.

The Opening of Stunveldt's culture

Stunveldt Island by Naelin

Up until the year 2586 E.Alz, Stunveldt was a closed culture, that aggressively rejected any contact with other cultures, except with their only allies, the neighbouring nation of Ruh.

During that year, the nation of Stunveldt unanimously decided to open their borders and culture to the rest of the Haan Archipelago. While this cultural event is mostly remembered for the introduction of Teobrew to the other islands, this was also the opening for other cultures to learn about dozens of new concepts, including among them the Good Death, to which some had to hang on tight to overcome the cruelty of the Rust.

Death Doulas during The High Rust

Corrosion by Naelín

The High Rust came to the inhabitants of the archipelago and surrounded them with inevitable, visible death.

The rich and powerful, those that were more used and more able to hide death from the eyes of the public, became riddled with friends and family covered in the scaly orange patches that announced their end and more often than not, found themselves in said situation.

Up to that point, some people have had sparsely started working as death doulas in the island of Ruh, but other cultures continued to see it as morbid and strange.

However, soon enough the desperation and hopelessness became stronger than the need to save face, and people started turning to any small hope of making imminent deaths easier on both the family and the sick ones.

Some people, usually those that used to work as midwives, caregivers for the elderly and even lawyers started to offer services to care for the dying and arrange their affairs, and even after the High Rust passed, they slowly became more specialized, learning the most important lesson for this profession from the Stunveldtian: A Death Doula's client is the dying person and not their family.
They have to specialize in advocating for their client, being their allies and concentrating their efforts on the dying person's wishes and needs, while keeping the family and friends in line.
With the passing of the few years after the Rust, people on most of the islands went back to treating death with the same veil of taboo as before, though some sparks of openness and desire to turn death into a more positive experience remained in some places...

Labour of Love by Naelin

A classic Stunveldti bedside decoration for those who seek to ease their mind and warm their soul: Scented candles, a small cuppat's skull, aromatic herbs wrapped in a silky cloth, and a meditating lyraik doll.

Controversy

Besides the cultural aversion to openly talking about death, some folk had actual issues with the idea of death doulas' profession becoming popular and expanding through the islands.

On one side, several people expressed preoccupation that Death Doulas will push away the death-related traditions from the other islands in order to introduce Stunveldti concepts.

On the other side, some people are worried that welcoming death, talking about it like it's no big deal or involving the dying person on their own death's preparation is morbid, and would make society find dying for unworthy causes (especially those where the powerful decide that people are an expendable resource) less outrageous.

Some are wary about the use of these doulas being promoted by the Thaurian monarchy, as they think that there may be a hidden agenda, probably related to the previous point.
Last, but not least, some families are not happy with having a third party openly acting only on the best interest of the dying person, as that often prevents them from having their way on things.

This article has been a labour of love coming from a very personal place.
Do you want to know more about real-life death doulas? Check this beautiful video by the amazing Ask a Mortician and Going with Grace.

Thaur's Death Doulas

Naelin by Naelin

The Kingdom of Thaur was born as a direct consequence of the High Rust, which destroyed its predecessor the Kingdom of Merthiorn.

Shortly after the officialization of his position as a king, Naelín started making small declarations and discourses about death, especially linked to the experiences lived during the High Rust and encouraged the publishing of works related to death positivity, end of life planning and innovative, counter-cultural ways of proceeding with dead bodies.

Flag of Thaur by Naelin

The Death Doulas started becoming a more accepted part of Thaurian culture, as did the end of life planning. While still met with apprehension and reticence by some, a lot of people affected by the High Rust found peace of mind on these new concepts and became some of the strongest supporters of these new ideas.

Some, however, think that the king's campaigning is a way to make the population process more readily the fall of the previous kingdom, and therefore accept his reign and governmental decisions faster.

Those who know him from before the High Rust will mention, though, how the seedling of all those ideas was there from a long time ago.