Paris 2086

Mother Nature, what a class ass cunt she was causing the Black Tide to rise and lay waste to Amsterdam. The booze, the drugs, the better than life chips, the whores and anything else a lad or lass out on a stag or hen night might want to do. Whatever is a chap to do? We go to Paris!   Take a plane, a train, or a ferry. Alone or with a group in Paris you will find any kind of entertainment you can possibly imagine. Regardless of how large or small your mind might be.   Now take into consideration that Paris is not what Amsterdam was. Paris is a city of haute couture. You will not find dingy shorts and t-shirts or nasty trainers worn in any establishment. The only time one might avoid this is if going to a themed event or a specific local catering to a fetish. Even then one will be expected to be dressed to the nines.   Almost every hotel has a nightclub, bar or restaurant for fine dining. There are numerous backroom casinos to be found that offer any game of either low or high stakes. Dice, cards, machines or spins of a wheel. May you find the odds to be ever in your favor.   The corporations also offer entertainment options within their compounds and arcologies. Though mostly for the benefit of their employees and higher level management sometimes a casual tourist or visitor may be invited.   Even though the Seine has undergone cleaning and decontaimination treatments, swimming is still inadvisable. There is alos the threat of wildlife predators to contend with.   Finally there are the Catacombs. Rumored to be the haunts of ghouls, ghosts, vampires and worse, people to engage in wild parties therein, never mind a few occasionally going missing.   Regardless of what you choose to do, you can rest assured that you will be safe and sound. Crime is something you only need to be aware of if you journey out to the distant suburbs where the gangs rule at night. Otherwise you will have the State Security that we affectionately call the SS, but do not let them hear you say that, to keep you safe.   Enjoy your stay in Paris and never eat escargot caught in the Seine.

Cover image: by Blue Fairy 74

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Aug 8, 2024 09:40 by Racussa

The article is incredibly funny: On the one hand, there are wild animals in the Seine or ghouls in the catacombs, on the other hand, private casinos for companies and all the party opportunities you can imagine. The historical reference to Amsterdam as a competitor that has been destroyed by a cataclysm gives the humorous and loosely written article a special spice. A really ingenious joke is the recommendation not to swim in the Seine or eat snails – with a view to the Olympic Games currently taking place in the real Paris.

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