I really screwed this whole thing up, and I hope that someone finds this, my confession. The Delmarin family was an old family from Goliad that had moved to Heliogabalus a few generations ago. Like any old family, our name outweighed our means. The family was driving itself into the poorhouse, but we had to keep up appearances. That’s where I came in. Soon after I joined the Knights of Virdin father arranged my marriage to Aelin Darhine, a wealthy family with no title of their own. Sixteen at the time, with a bride four years my senior, I hemmed and hawed and spent as much time away from the house as humanly possible. I did my duty and fathered two children of my own, Mahel and Rhiann, before leaving on a quest that would change my life forever.
Ser Owain brought me south to the Duchy of Carmathan delivering personal messages for King Virdin. Deep in Carmathan is a funny little village named Rosebriar, where most of the residents didn’t even come up to my waist. There I met her, Nimwien. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, a copper elf from the mysterious Earthwood Forest, and we fell in love. She was from the Clan Meldarin, and we took it as a sign that our family names sounded so much alike. We ran off together until Ser Owain found us, weeks later. Ser Owain was brutally honest with me. If I were to stay with Nimwien, he would declare me a deserter and revoke my knighthood. He also explained that the Darhine’s would push for divorce, shaming my family and that the financial ruin would bury the Delmarin name. In short, he scared the crap out of me. I would lose everything I knew and loved from home.
So I did the most shameful thing I have ever done in my life. I accused Nimwien of casting a spell over me, accused her of witchcraft and called her a whore.
[[There’s an illegible passage here written, rewritten and scribbled out several times.]]
I am still unable to write that last part without tears of shame. What I did was wrong, and my young age at the time offers no comfort in my guilt. I imagine the Gods themselves laughing at the cruel trick they played on a young lad, and, to prove my madness, I actually believe I hear their laughter from time to time, and its decidedly elven.
I returned to Heliogabalus and settled down again with Aelin. I told Aelin what had happened, the bad version. I let her think I had been ensorcelled. It was kinder to her, and maybe I was still afraid of the truth. We doted on the babies, though we barely spoke beyond the children’s sight. That was until we had word of an evil power gaining strength in Vaasa.
When the Witch-King struck, every moment of every day was spent combatting his growing influence. Even in the City, his tendrils of power made people greedy, nasty, and mean. I had gained some standing in the Knights by then, and was on the front lines of our King’s answer to this evil.
This confession isn’t about the war though, look to your history books if any of you survive this. When the Witch-King’s traitorous minion Felix murdered the King at Goliad, everything fell apart. Taking the lead from other knights, I led my legion in a retreat. We were one of the lucky ones. I escaped with less than a quarter of the men I had initially led. Most of the legions didn’t escape at all.
Now there are only a handful of us left, six knights and a priest. I think Ser Alexei has adopted me. He keeps calling me his “Little Lug”, whatever that means.
My arranged wife Aelin was beheaded. The other Knights wouldn’t let me attend the execution. I learned later that my children Mahel and Rhiann were also executed, and that this new Baron, Ree, was exultant during their deaths. Aelin used my infidelity to try and save them all, but that wasn’t enough.
Nothing is more important to Alexei than his family, even his vows to Tempus seem to take second place. He has asked me to take his granddaughter and escape Heliogabalus. I’ve lost both my true love and my family due to my own mistakes and my own fears. Why would he trust me with the most important thing in the world to him?
Anyhow, I am leaving in the morning. I’m going to head to the safehouse in the Galenas north of Bloodstone Pass. It’s about six miles from the pass. A rock shaped like a raven sits nearby the path to a hidden door, our Signet Rings should open the door once I find it. From there, I’ll figure out where the two of us can be safe.
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