Mudslinging

Political event

Knights Vigilant: Mudslinging

In American politics, the tactic of 'mudslinging' is considered a dirty trick that reflects badly on the candidate or lobbying group who use it. Yet in other parts of New York City's culture, mudslinging campaigns are used as a matter of routine! What makes Sam any more deserving of indignity than Caleb?

— The Idiot King, to everyone in the greater New York City area, simultaneously, over all phone lines

Episode 1: Real Estate mudslinging

At the scene of a crime after the traditional phone call from the Idiot King, the Knights Vigilant find samples of mud that don't fit the scene, plus a damaged receipt from your typical "big box" store, the kind on heat-activated paper.

Tesla Coil and some scientifically-minded allies of the supergroup do their own home analyses on the mud, but even with a list of ingredients they don't have enough time to find out that the mud contains several base ingredients of cola.

Episode's Evidence:

• Home Laboratory Forensic Chemistry Results:
  The mud contains varying amounts of H2CO3, H3PO4, "HFCS 55" (some sort of corn syrup, apparently), lime juice, phyllosilicate minerals, and a limestone-heavy base that matches the dirt in the greater Hudson Bay area.
• That receipt is almost unrecoverable, other than a few items on the purchase list:
  xxxxxxCHICKxx
  xxxxExxxxxxLA
  xxxxxxPRODUCE
  xxxxxxBANANAS
  xxxDVDCLEANER
  xxxxHANES TEE

Some brainstorming will still be needed to figure out these clues!

Episode 2: Cola Wars

Again the crime scene contains mud spatter that does not belong. Again part of the mud is made from local NYC dirt. What could this other ingredient be?

You look fairly thuggish...

— Statesman to Sahara, regarding an idea to sneak into a seedy bar where mercenaries hang out. Knights Vigilant Adventure: Mudslinging, July 24th, 2009

Pepsi Site evidence:

• mud, a different color than the real estate office
  (note: not actual poop, despite initial impression)
• some ingredients included propylene glycol alginate, corn syrup, amyloglucosidase, testosterone, potassium metabisulfite, phyllosilicate minerals, and a limestone-heavy base that matches the dirt in the greater Hudson Bay area.

Episode 3: Beer Wars

At a Miller Brewery distribution center, the crimes are starting to get more hostile and the splatter of mud is definitely angrier.

But this time, the Knights Vigilant capture a minion! And get to interrogate him!

Only ... Two-Tone Tony thinks he works for the Batman of Gotham City. That can't be right! ... Can it?

This crime scene has three different kinds of mud. One contains the latest "limited time" burger sauce (called "Angry Sauce") from a certain royally-themed franchise. Another contains cardboard shavings. The third? That sample got cross-contaminated, we're not quite sure what is there.

Philip Morris International Inc evidence:

• Three different types of mud were found at the executive headquarters for the owners of Miller Brewery, among other corporations. All three muds contained finely-ground liquified human remains (which turns out to be from the crematorium down in the Bronx plus expired ground beef of some sort, and jalapenos, soy sauce, and various hot spices; shredded cardboard; plus phyllosilicate minerals, and a limestone-heavy base that matches the dirt in the greater Hudson Bay area.
• Each mud has either ketchup, or mustard, or mayonnaise.

Episode 4: Fast-Food mudslinging

The Idiot King is really trying to slam the point home now, using pressurized tanks to have the minions paint the scene with mud. The tanks were made out of melted-together Sam's Club membership cards. They were shipped to the scene in very large boxes that had anvils printed in the logo space instead of the usual Amazon smile. Some of the tanks were chained together, an apparently needless extra step that must also be some kind of clue.

As for the hint for the next target, this time around the mud itself is bland, almost scentless. It has an indescribable color between brown and grey, perfectly smooth consistency, and contains starch and mix of "local mud" and the generic soil to be purchased at any chain home-and-garden place.

The Idiot King is definitely angry. He feels that no one is using their brains. He is very clear about how much that upsets him.

The Knights Vigilant are doing their best! If only the villain would talk directly to them, instead of using all this symbolism. Sahara and Tesla Coil search the women's room in the {Brooklyn Bridge -- City Hall} subway station for the base unit to which 2 XT-Ninja spy cameras (watching a payphone) are feeding their data. Meanwhile, SAFEGUARD has a team in the area trying to investigate Edward Nigma a.k.a. the Riddler, who might be providing villains with hiring services to get a steady stream of themed henchmen. Knight Thrasher can't help, either -- he has his hands full trying to stop Clayface who is taking personal offense to the misuse of his theme.

... but, you've probably got a lot on your plate.

— Statesman to Tesla Coil, on a night when every third action involves "Tesla, while you're at it, could you hack/make..." Knights Vigilant Adventure: Mudslinging, August 21st, 2009

Hey Taki, Mr Glass, and Statesman,

We were stopping the Idiot King's rampage across New York City and we met a guy who said for us to say hello to Trickshot? Anybody know who that is? Taki, did you recruit anyone new or something?

Tesla

Do you think perhaps he got us confused with another team?

Statesman

Maybe. It was some guy Moon Knight talked to. Guy was dressed in blue and black. Called himself Nightwing or something like that.

Telsa

McDonalds mud:

• This mud is bland, almost scentless, indescribable color between brown and grey, perfectly smooth consistency, and contains starch and a mix of the regularly-seen "local mud" and the generic soil to be purchased at any chain home-and-garden place. More the second than the first.

Episode 5: Chain Stores versus Locally-Owned

There's a Wal-Mart in Manhattan that has a lawn and garden department; they've had to cancel their advertised potting soil sale, and will issue rainchecks to anyone who shows up wanting one. Knights Vigilant investigate immediately!

Here is a set of minions who all do NOT believe they are working for Batman. And they are not the only minions on the scene: meet the dastardly duo of Imp Urity and Acid Raihne!

(Who ... get their patooties handed to them. Rather swiftly.)

But first, the PCs have decided to go after the fake Batman, who is suspected of doing business in one of the former answering services that are now apartment buildings. Surprise: a balding man with a penchant for question marks and the color green is not only able to prove that he is a LEGITIMATE CITIZEN with NO evidence tying him to any crimes in the State of New York, but furthermore he has a series of tutorials on "How to be a Superhero" and associated skills. He offers to give the first lesson to the Knights Vigilant for free. Subsequent classes start at $80 (teleclass) or $200 (in person).

The Riddler also tells them about a business named Omnicom and a man named Caleb Bradham who have drawn the Idiot King's attention.

Afterward, the Knights determine that their latest mud sample contains shredded advertising contracts.

Wal-Mart Mud:

• This mud contained shredded contracts. Any other clueful ingredients were pretty badly messed up by the Villainous Duo's attempts to fight the Superheroes.

GM: This is the debut appearance of villain duo Imp Urity and Acid Raihne!
Tesla Coil: I still just can't think of them as 'super' villains. More like 'lukewarm' villains.

— Knights Vigilant Adventure: Mudslinging (post-session commentary), October 6th, 2009

Episode 6: Advertising Blast

In the conclusion, The Idiot King carpet-bombs the Mayor's grandstand area with pamphlet drops, nontoxic dye clouds, and mild drugs, where he had originally been angry enough to have planned a lethal blast. Good thing the Knights Vigilant have been demonstrating their understanding of his point over the past few days!

Advertising Company mud:

• If it had been necessary, each mini-blimp contained within its mud one of three chemical parts that, mixed together, would cause a long-lasting and horrendous stench: they would have been so bad that the entire building (or sidewalk, or pavement, or whatever got contaminated) would have to be shut down and the contaminated sections completely removed and replaced. No perfume or incense would have mitigated it. The fumes would have clung to the hair and skin of anyone who spent more than five hours in the building, making even part-time employment destructive to the overall life of the employee.

First appearance of Imp Urity and Acid Raihne, a pair of powered idiots who think they're "gangsta" now that The Idiot King got them set up. He was probably making a statement about having a theme not being enough to actually make a villain.

The Riddler offers more than one set of lessons, for a scaling tutorial fee. He will teach heroes how to deconstruct various kinds of clues. He will teach villains how to design puzzles, cryptic clues, and entire themed heists. He delights in the point he is making that no minds outside of Gotham City are a match for the Riddler versus Batman dynamic of last decade. He successfully washed all the proceeds from his last caper (versus now-retired, or at least now-vanished hero Dark Angel) and lives comfortably but carefully so that his old nemesis will never have the means to take it all away again.

Riddler is so bored. . . .