Uriel the Guard

• Marksman McMarksalot: Never misses, puts the "fear" in "fearsome spear."

• Human Pincushion: Collects arrows like they're going out of style, but hey, at least they're souvenir-sized.

• Walking Bullseye: Accuracy like a laser, charisma like... well, a pointy stick.

• Spear Whisperer: Talks to his weapon, claims it talks back. Maybe he's just really good at listening.

• One-Man Wall of Steel: Deflects attacks like a medieval disco ball, never breaks a sweat (or a formation).