Episode 31: Sidebar, Sidebar! Report

General Summary

The Enemy Within: Death on the Reik Episode 31 - “Sidebar, Sidebar!” 10/11/22 Post-Game Notes
Day 85 - Wellentag 3 Brauzeit, 2512 IC
Picks up as the Crew is hiding in a darkened alley south of Warehouse 13, trying to determine what to do with their captive cultist, the merchant Landolf Seckbach.

• While patrols of watch hustle around the docks, and a bucket brigade gets busy trying to put out the fire, the Crew argues about what to do next. Opinions run from producing the cultists as evidence and taking credit for saving the town (Beau) to leaving the cultist in the street and sneaking out at first light (God), with various degrees of agreement from Kris and Dieter.
• Ultimately they decide to bring Landolf, gagged and bound, back to the boat, to interrogate him and decide on next steps. Josef is decidedly not thrilled when he sees the Crew return with the hostage.
• Kris and Dieter get some sleep. Beau, God and Karl work on good-cop/bad-copping Landolf. Numerous calls for “sidebar” may have prevented Beau from just killing the fucker and dumping his body in the river. The merchant seems to truly not have known he was in league with a demon, but he also is wantonly complicit in schemes to magically line his own pockets. He attempts to bribe his way to freedom. Ultimately, the Crew remains undecided on what to do with him, but they do plan on seeking out Magistrate Heinz Richter in the morning.

Day 86 - Aubentag 4 Brauzeit, 2512 IC
In the morning, Karl and Mixo, cool as can be, saunter into Town Hall to speak with Richter. The area is abuzz with gossip and consternation. They find Andrea Much, Richter’s clerk, who gives them the bad news: Richter was found dead in his home two days ago. Seems he fell victim to a horrible disease that made his face turn purple and swell up until he choked on his own tongue. Sounds familiar…
Back on the boat, this news is met gravely. The Crew agrees to first check on “Kastor Lieberung’s” inheritance, and then dump Landolf on the dock with a “courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Wrecking Crew” message pinned to his cultist cloak.
Beau decides on a different message and goes Beauzerk, smashing the bastard’s hand and foot with his mace. Sidebar! Sidebar!
The Crew inquire around town as to the location of the legal offices of Mssrs. Lock, Stock, and Barl and are directed to the Artisan Quarter, a decidedly odd place for lawyers to set up shop. The Garten Weg is a narrow dead-end alley with just one single-story building that uses the street for its main entrance: the law office.

• A rotting smell pervades the sparse office, and God finds the dead body of a clerk, collecting flies, behind a desk. His chest has been split open and he’s missing his heart. God vomits.
• Dieter uncovers a sketch of “Kastor,” again looking just like Karl, along with a letter addressed to a Gendry from “AK.” All signs point to this being a setup by Adolphus Kuftsos to catch the “master impedimentae.” Plots within plots…

Frustrated that the inheritance was a sham, the Crew sails out of Bogenhafen with Josef, downriver towards Weissbruck. They dock at a riverside inn near the road to Schieffelen called the Mühlen Hole.

• Inside, a dwarf maiden and an elven male are locked in a silent, paralyzingly dull boardgame battle. People with nothing better to do are watching.
• Dieter and Kris collect some juicy rumors regarding the Crown Prince being locked away and crooked river wardens in Weissbruck.

Day 87 - Marktag 5 Brauzeit, 2512 IC
Berebeli continues downriver in the morning. Before long, Beau spots a corpse caught in some eddies by the riverbank, face down with crossbow bolts in his back. Josef espies a derelict barge up ahead, dangerously listing towards the vacant channel. More bodies bob around in the water.

• Despite some bad feelings from Godabert, the Crew, minus Mixo, board a rowboat to investigate.

As soon as they board the stern of the vessel, a bolt whistles through the air and into Karl’s arm. He is, once again, almost dead. A winged crossbow-wielding mutant swoops at them from the trees along the north bank. As this happens, three other mutants – one aggressively hairy giant, one beak-faced monstrosity, and one already wounded fiend with three arms and an extra mouth on its torso – charge out of the cabin and attack!

As the battle is engaged, a tentacled fifth mutant appears out of the water behind the boat and tries to entangle Godabert and pull him down to a watery death.
The Crew do what they do best*, avoid certain death and lay waste to enemies:

• Crossbow bolts from Karl and Beau finish off the winged freak
• Dieter eviscerates the three-armed bad guy
• Beau slides acrobatically around the deck and slaughters beak-face
• God and Karl hack away at the aquatic mutant’s tentacles until he retreats
• Kris, ever the show-off, leaps atop the cabin roof and launches himself at the hairy fella, and both go splashing into the Bogen. Kris, who can swim, and the hairy bastard, who cannot, re-engage on the shore. Kris’s armor miraculously saves him from a death-dealing blow and, in turn, Kris finishes off the mutant with his Arabyan blade.

The Crew checks out the boat:

• The cabin contains five more bodies: three humans and two mutants. Some loot.
• The cargo hold has bags and crates of wool for trade. The lid on one of the crates in the back is moving, and Beau pops the top and screams at the occupant.
• The occupant, a scared pedlar named Renate Hausier, screams back. She hid in there when she saw the mutants attack. She identifies the deceased humans as the Segels, private traders who were moving wool on their barge, the Schnuckiputzi. She paid for passage back home to Grunburg after the Schaffenfest.
• They dump the mutant bodies in the river, and dig graves along the riverbank for the three Segels.
• Kris, who is well aware of salvage laws, starts talking about how he wants to re-christen “his” boat.

*It can be argued that what the Crew really does best is chat-up, charm, and ultimately disappoint women. But it’s a toss up.
Interlude:
“And don’t forget this canyon here, below the castle.” Josef sniffs and runs his pudgy finger along the rolled out map. “Used to be, this was a spot where ye’d watch out for pirates or wreckers. Nowadays, just be cautious of the odd shallows or washed up tree trunk.”
Kris studies intently, asking questions about riverside inns and ship-friendly towns along the Bogen while Karl does his best to transcribe both map locations and commentary on the broken lid of a storage crate.
“You think it’s worth how much? For fucking sheep’s wool?” Beau has other concerns, and he quizzes Wolmar while pointing down into the cargo hold of their newly salvaged boat.
“It’s getting close to winter, Beau.” Wolmar shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you got fifty gold for the lot up in Altdorf. Maybe less, depending on what the merchant companies have brokered already. Not too much experience with goods like this to be honest. Josef and I have favored liquid cargo.”
“In more ways than one!” Gilda slaps her husband on the back as she walks over to Karl to check on his latest injury. “Drinking half the profits, you two.”
“Harbor fees are an issue in the towns, certainly, but that’s where you’ll find buyers. And sellers too, if you’re so inclined to follow in the trader’s lifestyle.” Josef grins proudly at his young pup of a seaman, all growed up. “Oh and it’ll cost you to use the lock, as you know, Kris. Boat this size’ll be one gold. Don’t let them charge you more.”
“And no one is going to question our ownership of all this?” Godabert still has a hard time believing what’s happening. “That this is our boat? And our sacks of wool?”
“Salvage laws, Godabert. You’re supposed to make a good-faith effort to find next-of-kin, but in the meantime any cargo and profits generated are yours.” Josef strokes his beard. “You could, of course, try to just collect a salvage fee for the barge. If you really didn’t want to keep it…”
Kris waves his hands and drowns out any attempt at a follow-up-question from his crewman. “We’re burning daylight crew! We have a nice tailwind and several pints of ale awaiting us at the Flute & Fairy! Avast! Scupper that salvage fee shite!”
Kris strides towards the tiller of the Schnukiputzi as Gilda and Wolmar rejoin Dieter and Mixo on the Berebeli. “Last one to Weissbruck buys dinner!”
“And remember what I told you about Altdorf,” Josef is the last one to heave himself over the gunwales.
Kris nods and waves him off with a smile. “Right, right – Mannan Dock is better than the Fork. The Fish gang controls all the labor, but they’re honest criminals or somesuch nonsense. We got it.”
“We do?” Godabert puts his hand on his unsettled stomach and surveys the scene. Karl is holding a hunk of plywood covered in something resembling the scratchmarks of a five-year old or a lunatic. Beau is pulling fistfulls of natty wool from one bag after another shaking his mitts in disbelief. Renate pushes a mop along the deck, stooping over occasionally to scoop and toss a particularly large hunk of gore. And Kris, arms akimbo, raises his chin at the afternoon sun.
“You’re Sigmar-damned right.” * * *

Rewards Granted

XP:

• 10 (5 for Beau) for not killing Landolf, thus creating opportunity for future intrigue (all)
• 5 for sending a broken-bone message to Landolf, thus creating a new enemy for future plots (Beau)
• 15 for following through with the inheritance letter and finding the letter from Adolphus to his agents (all)
• 40 for securing the abandoned river boat (all)
• 30 for a sweet session (all)

• Godabert: 85
• Beau: 85
• Karl: 85
• Kris: 85
• Dieter: 85*
• *only applicable to the post–Gathering Storm Dieter
• Loot:

• 20 shillings and 12 pennies
• 4ss/2 each, with 2 pennies left over
• 2 mail coats
• 3 GC each
• 2 mail coifs
• 1 GC each
• Three swords (one is broken)
• 1 GC each
• Three daggers
• 16 ss each
• One crossbow and 13 bolts
• Crossbow is 5 GC
• One club
• One river boat, the Schnuckiputzi

Character(s) interacted with

Locations scouted and new NPC’s engaged:
The Mühlen Hole, riverside inn along the Bogen
The Schnuckiputzi, Kris’s new boat

• Renate Hausier, pedlar from Grunburg

Campaign

The Enemy Within

Protagonists

Godabert

Report Date

03 May 2023

Related Historical Events

• 2512
  Crew Acquires a Boat