Kienkii Bieggjan (Nonlit. 'Share My Heart')

Public anthropological record
Property of the Royal Atheneum of Hövnís, Eörpe

This is a customary courting ritual outlining how to go about courting another individual in a way that shows your intention of forming a lasting relationship and proves your desire to not share bed with anyone but them for the rest of your life.  

Etymology & Definition

The name for this traditional ritual is derived from the courteous invitation made by the party seeking a mate, usually spoken somewhere along the lines of ‘I would like to share the warmth of my heart, from now until I walk the last trail’.  
‘Kienkii’ is the gjevasudit word for ‘to share’ and ‘to gift’. The word ‘bieggjan’ is compounded from the two roots ‘bieg’ for ‘child’ and ‘heart’, and ‘jan’ for ‘mine’ and ‘my’ which is typically translated to ‘my heart’. For localization the ritual’s name is thus most commonly translated to ‘share my heart’.
‘The last trail’ is very likely a reference to the ‘Soha Hyssna’ – a bridge featured in the Soha Oavolkijiit mythology that connects the world with the deity Tijosalomai’s mouth.
— Notation by Dr. Tybulus Svilen.
 

History

 

Origin

This tradition likely has its root in the similar ritual Kienkii Lhukkjan and its creation may have originated from a need to address some shortcomings of the older custom. The Kienkii Lhukkjan was only meant for cases of temporary companionship where both parties are expected to part ways and not form lasting bonds between each other.   Most modern bieggjan tribes recognize that some individuals may develop a deep-seated affection for each other and will want to share bed with anyone but each other. When its thought that two individuals may be so close as to show signs of psychological distress when apart, they are often considered appropriate candidates for the Kienkii Bieggjan ritual.  

Modern Practice

The practice of the Kienkii Bieggjan ritual is today nearly as widespread as Kienkii Lhukkjan but is considered a lot more involved and complicated to perform. The main difference between the two is that this ritual is entirely devoid of expectation resulting in offspring, and the only deciding factors whether two individuals are suitable to go through it is if they fulfil the requirements and have shown a strong, mutual affection for each other.  

Observance

 

Participants

Differently from the Kienkii Lhukkjan, this ritual involves not only the couple-to-be but also their respective parents who act as the final decision-makers as to whether or not a Kienkii Bieggjan will be completed.  

Preparation

It’s not uncommon for a pair to first have engaged in Kienkii Lhukkjan, and afterward decided they want to continue the relationship past its expected boundary. While it’s acceptable for pairs who’s had no evident prior engagement to initiate the ritual too, a pair that’s shared bed prior are often considered more serious and surer about their desire to permanently bond.   Since there’s no expectations placed on the couple to produce offspring as a result of their bonding, the biological sex of the two is considered entirely irrelevant and only the weight of their feelings for each other is of importance.  

Execution

Usually, the first step is for either party to confess their desire to mate for life to the other and confirm that the desire is mutual. Afterward they will approach their parents, typically the elders of their tribe, and announce wanting to go through the Kienkii Bieggjan with their chosen mate. This involves also expressly telling whether or not they’d be ready to abandon their tribe in order to live with their mate-to-be.   After the pair has announced their wish to their parents, the parents of both will meet up to discuss together their children’s relationship and prospective future together.   Whether either of them said they’re willing to part with their tribe to live with the other is often the first thing brought up. Have neither said they are, it tends to be swiftly agreed by all parents they’re not ready and will be denied going through with the ritual. However, both individuals having expressed being ready to leave their tribe to live with the other will often lead to both parents viewing their relationship in a more favorable light.  

Proof of Affection

Even if both tribe’s parents may agree early on that their respective child is serious in their desire to form a lasting bond, its very rare for the ritual to be concluded during the same tribal meetup it was initiated.   Instead, the pair may have to prove that their relationship is lasting and affection to each other so strong they desire no one else. This typically involves abstaining from engaging in sexual relationships with others, only accepting invitations to Kienkii Lhukkjan from each other, and showing signs of psychological distress while apart.   It can take several seasons and tribal meetups for the ritual to finish.  

Conclusion

The ritual isn’t considered concluded until all the parents of both individuals are in full agreement that their bond is strong enough that their relationship will last the of their lives. Or, in full agreement that they aren’t suited for each other, and the ritual shouldn’t be continued. The decision is final, and the same pair aren’t allowed to initiate it a second time at a later point in their lives.   Should it be decided that the pair may bond together, it will be announced to all members of both tribes the same day. However, the pair will remain with their tribe until the next meet up.   The next time they cross paths, the tribes will have prepared for a ceremony that’ll conclude the Kienkii Bieggjan and marks the point where the pair may now permanently live together.   During this ceremony the pair’s parents will also announce which of the two will be adopted over to their life mate’s tribe. It’s very common for the ceremony to include the customary adoption rites to make their move over to their new family and life official.

Common Restrictions

Both individuals of the ritual must originate from different tribes and be recognized as adult individuals in their respective tribes (typically 10 years of age or older).   The ritual and involved sexual activities must be consensual, and the ritual is considered ongoing until either of the involved decide they no longer want to participate or until either tribe is to pack up and continue on their way – whichever comes first. Engaging in sexual activity, regardless of reason, is fully voluntary and should either party decline at any point the other is expected to respect the decision.  

Common Taboos

A bieggjan may not engage in sexual activities with members of their own tribe, or with members of a tribe they’ve been adopted from, regardless of actual blood relation. Doing so may be grounds for punishment or even exile, depending on the perceived gravity of the crime. The only exception to this rule is recognized couples bonded through the Kienkii Bieggjan ritual, who may share bed with each other.   As well, a bieggjan may not engage in sexual activities with non-adults, regardless of whether they themselves are a recognized adult or not. Regardless of a child’s own words, they are not considered capable to give their consent to sexual engagements.   Non-adults caught engaging in such acts with other non-adults will typically be punished and let known why it’s a non-acceptable behavior. Should the child be caught repeating the behavior, they may end up marked and exiled. Adults caught engaging in such acts with non-adults will immediately be forcibly marked with the goosujati symbol for the Tjaetsiimaj and exiled.


Cover image: by RÜŞTÜ BOZKUŞ

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