Family and Marriage In the Northwoods
Life in the Northwoods is grittier than that of the rest of Valor and somewhat rife with environmental hazards--blizzards, ice storms, poison pines, and aggressive mother-in-laws. That is why when a couple decides to move to matrimony, it is taken seriously, but also practically. Sappers value large families as these communities are often the only support a person will know their entire lives. Sapper holdings are spread out over great distances, often with a days travel between close neighbors, so family connections made through marriage are integral to keeping the peace and ensuring the smooth sharing of resources throughout the woods. Children are expected of all marriages as this is how the clans persist, however, since Sappers are particularly good at making children, it is not unusual for a childless couple to adopt a sibling's or cousin's younger children after they've turned one year and raise them as their own. Same sex couples are less common, but there are no routine societal issues with same gender/same sex marriages, likely because of this custom of child-sharing.
A daughter moving away from a family is deeply mourned and any man who is going to try and take her from her born clan had damn well better put in a proper effort. A son marrying is a joyous event and symbolizes great fortune for the family. The Northwoods is an equitable society, and if a women refuses a match, her decision is respected; however, like all Sappers, the women of the north tend to be quite practical and will weigh a man's hardwoods as strongly as his character when making a choice. Men on the other hand, tend to complain that they have little say in who they marry, usually because the candidates are screened by numerous other female members of the family to determine the person's suitability to live with the family as well as the specific man. Whether the men do or do not have a say ultimately depends on the family itself and to a degree, the specific individuals. The women of the Northwoods would say that they are just better at these things than the men, so why do the men even bother complaining about it? Several well known Sapper songs reflect this dynamic, and are often played loudly and to the dismay of the eligible man prior to finalizing a marriage agreement.
Sappers know that the hand that feeds you is the most important one in your life, be you man, woman, bear dog, or child. To that end, a traditional proposal gift is not a ring, but a spoon. Not just any spoon, mind you, but a pair of spoons carved from one piece of rare wood that grows at the top of the wooded mountains. It is a perilous and difficult journey to climb such a mountain and find an appropriate piece of wood and the effort of doing so is supposed to represent the man's willingness to protect the woman from danger and put effort into the relationship. These days, its not uncommon for a man to buy a piece of said wood from a reputable woodsmith, but true believers (read romantics) will take the journey to the wooded mountains to search out the wood themselves. Women who receive spoons carved from such wood would understand the seriousness of the proposal and could see the extra effort as a sign of the man's dedication to her. But not everyone thinks the journey is worthwhile anymore given the number of monsters and other unfriendlies that populate the wooded mountains and could consider a person who went to that degree as a risk taker or a show off. Generally though, these comments are made by men who perhaps regret their own purchasing of wood rather than taking the traditional quest, and are usually ignored. The carving on the spoons usually includes the specific family crest of the man/proposer and some kind of iconography to represent the woman's trade or special skill (if she is a baker, for example, a finely carved sheaf of wheat may wind along the spoon's handle). If she accepts the proposal, the woman will wear the spoon with the ornately carved handle showing in a special pocket on her apron. In return, a woman will prepare an appropriate apron for her intended.
Rings are used in the northwoods, but they are more to send messages to others rather than something with significance between the two people. Women are presented with a traditional ring after they've been presented to the town (sometime between 15-18). This ring is worn on the right index finger. There is a heart in the center of the ring and until the women spoken for, the heart faces away from her. Once she is spoken for, the ring is reversed so the heart faces her. Once a marriage is finalized and the two share a homestead, the woman's ring is moved to her left index finger. A woman without a ring who is over the age of 18 presents a confusing picture to some, but a discerning fellow will check to see if she wears the ring around her neck, meaning she is a widow. Men's use of rings is sporadic and more common among older sappers. A man's ring is usually carved of bone or antler and more often than not will be found lashed to the collar of their best bear dog. Sappers have a saying that an eligible man is a "Free dog" and many a young woman has been warned that before she gets cozy with a charming Sapper, she should "check his collar."
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