When I was some fifty years dead by my sire’s reckoning, he said to me, “Son, you aren’t cut out for the life of a merchant, and you barely have the teeth to make it as a hunter. I was mistaken in murdering you, and I know that now. Go to the temple and take up the robes so that I never again have to listen to you whine. Go to the temple and make merit for me since I can’t. I think it’s your Dharma.” Maybe he was right, or maybe he was simply trying to rid himself of me. Either way, I had no choice in the matter. In the secular order of the Dead in Thailand, one is nothing without his sire. I would have more likely met the sunrise than to try to make it on my own.
So I went to the Wat Ning in Bangkok in order to beg to be taken in, what they call “taking refuge.” After three protected nights of questions to test how serious I was, they accepted me and prepared me for Ordination. By the third night I was sure that I wanted to spend the entirety of my unlife in that temple. The monks and nuns were so peaceful and content. I barely felt the presence of any Beasts as I walked the underground halls of the Temple sanctuary in quiet conversation with the Abbot. He and others who were skilled teachers prepared me for monastic life. They wanted no surprises for me once I had taken my robes.
When the time was right - it had something to do with where the stars were in the sky - I was taken to the river and washed. Mortals and laity gathered around and shouted blessings at me. In return it was expected that some of the merit I gained in joining the temple would extend to them. After that I had my head and eyebrows shaved, then, looking more like a monk now, I was rubbed down with a paste made of turmeric and the blood of my elders. Dressed in red, I was prepared to enter the temple and become a novice.
Much of the ceremony that followed was strange and confusing. I do not speak Pali, only Thai, and so I’m not sure what was being said. I was asked a series of questions before I was given my black robes to symbolize that stillness is the ultimate goal.
The feeding restrictions were the hardest part, without a doubt. Some elder monks were so very violent when we would weaken and fall to our hunger and rage. Twice I was beaten into torpor for baring fangs at a mortal I was begging from late in the night. Begging was, at first, very humiliating, and it was many years before I found it humbling instead. Once a week, sometimes less frequently, I would be taken out of the temple with an elder monk and would walk through the streets of Bangkok with my eyes on the ground. When mortals would stop to speak to us, we would ask if they would like for us to teach them about Dharma in exchange for a few moments of their life. If they agreed, we would see them into an ally and were allowed to feed a very little bit before offering same teachings and starting out again. We were allowed to feed only so much as to stave off hunger for another week. Regularly, the laity would come to the temple bringing vessels of blood in order to receive blessings and to make merit. Though the blood tastes stagnant and barely satisfies me, I have grown to prefer it as it is less distracting and more practical. One of the eldest and most venerable monks, other than our abbot, sometimes can lend his blood to those who are very weak from having forgotten to feed or from pushing themselves too far.
Now that I have more peace about me, I am able to really appreciate the fortune I have here at the Wat Ning. Once, a monk from a far off forest temple came to visit with us. He said that his feeding restrictions were far stricter and that they were allowed no attachments, so that no monks or nuns had names and none were allowed to speak to one another except to repeat scriptures. That visitor suggested their training was superior and their monk was far more enlightened than ours. I don’t think so; Pha Thet is a good man and very patient with everyone. He keeps to the traditions of the Sukhothai Kings of old. There is a bell that anyone can ring, from the lowest mortal to the most powerful Kindred, and the abbot will see to them, personally helping them with problems if he can or giving advice if he can’t. I have heard rumors that people think he might reach Anagami any night now. Some wonder if he will take the path of the Bodhivistta or end his existence. I hope he stays to teach.
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