The Convocation of Folks who Sit in Comfortable Places
Much to the dismay of High Priest Arder, his quest to find The seat of extraordinary and unbelievable power was cut short, at a shocking discovery:
"What do you mean, 'there is no such thing as a group of adventurers that exclusively sit down in places'!? I will make it so, right now! Now shoo, I must attend to my.. Small table with a cushion on top of it."It's kind of amazing how freely they throw out these important sounding titles like 'High Priest' to a guy that thinks adventurers just spend half their time sitting down and assessing the comfort of wherever they're sat at that present moment. I mean honestly, who would want to do something as absurd as that?
The Convocation forms
Oh for god sake-- Does this lot have absolutely no shame?? There are fables, mystery and wonder literally DRIPPING from the pages of this place and they pick the job that's got them parked on their arse for most of the day!?"I mean, the pay is really good."Good. Great. Fantastic. I don't even know how to carry on from that. I mean, there you have it. Get enough money and you can get a bunch of people trotting the world to go and sit in every possible location.
Career
Qualifications
Accolades are not so simple in the realms of sitting. What is comfort? What is sitting? All very... Very difficult questions. Places of academic study don't exactly hand out degrees and diplomas on the levels of comfort a thing can have--
Well actually--No. They don't. I'm not entertaining that. Induction into the Convocation is a gruelling gauntlet of chairs, cushions, pillows, mattresses, dirt mounds, and other various places one can rest their rear. Only those who are able to distinguish the very subtle differences between each are permitted to work amongst them.
Career Progression
Promotions and prestige are actually an actively competitive aspect of the Convocation; The primary measure of any sitter worth their salt is based entirely on how many places and things they have sat upon. It's honestly a little unhealthy? and has led to some.. Interesting submissions for consideration to the convocation.
"Your assessment is very detailed and precise, recruit.. But what on Vertinall compelled you to sit upon the spire of one of our churches?"
Payment & Reimbursement
A bounty system of sorts is in place for the sitters. For each assessment submitted to their reporting officer, they are rewarded with a flat sum of gold, funded in part by the Church of the Beast that our dear High Priest Arder belongs to. Those who find places marked as considerably comfortable are given a bonus, and emphasis is placed on finding The Chair, and any such seating area that matches those criteria.
Other Benefits
They get paid to sit down. Have you been reading? They've got the gig of a bloody lifetime.
Operations
Tools
All members of the Convocation are issued with a leather-bound notepad full of parchment, and several writing utensils.
So they can write.
About the places they've sat down at.
this is so stupid
Operating under orders of the Church offers sitters a great deal of freedom in terms of law, much to the dismay of the general population and their various households being randomly entered so that some tool with a pen and paper can come in and sit in all of their chairs.
Legality
Operating under orders of the Church offers sitters a great deal of freedom in terms of law, much to the dismay of the general population and their various households being randomly entered so that some tool with a pen and paper can come in and sit in all of their chairs.
Dangers & Hazards
Current present dangers are assessed entirely by the intelligence and wits of the sitters, and by something the higher-ups like to call the "Spacial awareness."
by TheDumbOwl (Me)
Alternative Names
Sitters of Zen, Chairgoers, Lazyarses
Type
Public Services
Demand
Literally one person asked for this
Related Locations
Assessment of Plot 573-101
Material is difficult to parse. There is no amount of resistance when sat, but the sitter does not immediately fall through the material, and stabilises after some adjustment. In this unrefined state, the level of comfort experienced would be marked as 'varied', but overall not negative.
Additional Notes:
- Paper is not suitable for assessing locations of this nature, and will perish if used.
- Assesser requests that Plots falling under areas categorised as 'Lakes' be stricken off, as they doubt the credibility of 'one patch of water being comfier than the other.'
—Lheyk Ghai, Rank #57
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