The City's Splendours

This article is part of Volo's Waterdeep Enchiridion.

The City’s Splendors

A description of each of the features that cause Waterdeep to be called the City of Splendors would require a library’s worth of paper. This chapbook can’t hope to encompass them all, no matter its author’s expertise with a quill. However, I shall endeavor to enlighten you about several sights that have not been mentioned earlier, and to expand upon some previously covered.

Amenities

You’ll find no city on the Sword Coast or in all the North half as civilized as Waterdeep. It’s not just the law of the land that makes this so, but also the comforts that life here provides. In most other towns and cities, you’ll start with an early-morning stumble on the stairs as you carry your night soil down to deposit it outside. But in Waterdeep, many buildings are connected directly to the sewers. Public facilities for those out and about can be found all around the Market and the Field of Triumph, and near the largest city squares. In places without ready access to sewers or public outhouses, members of the Dungsweepers’ Guild make multiple rounds each day, collecting urine and excrement separately — for use in industry and agriculture, respectively. Take comfort that in Waterdeep, you’ll always find a pot to piss in. Also notice how clean the streets are kept. This upkeep is due in large part to the hard work of the Dungsweepers’ Guild. Dungsweepers can be seen working their brooms and carts at every hour of the day — and for a few hours after dark — all over the city, removing not just animal dung but other refuse. This service is free to all, paid for by taxes rendered to the city — although an egregious amount of trash left for pickup does result in a separate bill from the guild. Another amenity soon appreciated by visitors is Waterdeep’s water system. With public fountains and wells all about the city, clean water is plentiful. Many buildings have pumps of their own to draw water from the local supply, and some even possess taps that pour out water with the twist of a knob. This convenience is made possible by the inventiveness of the Gondar, the industry of the Cellarers’ and Plumbers’ Guild, and the magic that Waterdeep inherited from the Illefarni elves. Waterdeep is also a city of light. Continual flame spells illuminate many signs and streetlamps in the wealthier parts of the city. Elsewhere, the Guild of Chandlers and Lamplighters keeps the streets lit (excepting the Field Ward and the most dangerous areas of the Dock Ward). Not only that, but hundreds of driftglobes bob about the City of the Dead at night, departing to float over the rest of the city each morning. Such is not typical behavior for driftglobes, I assure you! Lastly, no city in the world is as literate as Waterdeep. Oghma’s priests from the Font of Knowledge offer free instruction in reading to all who desire it, and the city has over thirty publishers of broadsheets in addition to chapbook printers and book publishers. Large paper advertisements are plastered onto alley walls, and smaller ones are passed out by those hired by businesses to trumpet their services. Printed menus can be found posted in the windows of most eateries and are handed out to those who dine within. Admittedly, you’ll see less reading material in the Dock Ward and the Field Ward, but this fact is notable only because of its preponderance elsewhere.

The Griffon Cavalry

Waterdeep doesn’t have the fabled flying ships of Halruaa, but it does deploy an aerial defense force. Brave warriors of the City Guard light out from the Peaktop Aerie atop Mount Waterdeep, riding fearsome griffons that have been bred and trained for that purpose. Each of the riders is equipped with a ring of feather falling — not merely to prevent death from mishap, but to allow them to perform stunning feats of aerial acrobatics. In both martial displays and in real battles against flying threats such as manticores, harpies, and outlaw wizards, the griffon riders actually leap off their mounts into the open air! For a breath-stealing moment, they fall like stones, closing in on their targets at incredible speed. Their opponents rarely see the death blow, distracted as they are by other mounted griffon riders. When they are past the danger, the free-falling riders then suddenly halt in the air, drifting like feathers until their griffon companions swoop in and they regain their saddles. Working in concert with one another in this fashion, members of the Griffon Cavalry can rapidly eliminate any threat to the city — and even catch the body of the offender before it hits the rooftops below. Riders of the Griffon Cavalry are trained to stay above the rooftops, not because they fear crashing into towers and weather vanes, but because the smell of so much horseflesh in the streets below can sometimes drive their griffons into a frenzy.

The God Catcher, a Walking Statue

Speak like a Native

The many idioms and slang expressions of Waterdavians would take a whole book to explore, but here I explain a few that might otherwise mystify. “Dabbler but no master" and “No mastery blazing forth” These idioms trace their origin to Ahghairon, who early on in his studies of magic humbly said, “I am no wizard. I am a dabbler but no master of magic; it seems no mastery burns within me.” Both now serve as expressions of false modesty applied to any skill or craft, not just magic use. “Sharpjaws,” “fastfists,” “bullyblades,” and “alleyblades” Those who boast of martial skill but who shrink from violence or lack real ability are “sharpjaws.” In sharp contrast are Waterdeep’s “fastfists” (any lout easily provoked to violence), “bullyblades” (battle-hardened mercenaries hired as muscle), and “alleyblades” (muggers and thieves) “Longride” and “Last ride” To a caravan merchant, a drover, or a farmer from the lands around Waterdeep, as well as any Waterdavian who rides for sport, recreation, hunting, or falconry, the late afternoon is “longride,” and dusk is “last ride.” "Which the greater thief?" Tuezaera Hallowhand was a famous “lone cat” thief of Waterdeep in the 1200s DR, who disappeared suddenly and is thought to have come to a violent end. She once robbed a wizard and wrote this on his wall with a fingertip dipped in his favorite red wine: “I take things. You take freedom with your spells. Which of us is the greater thief?” Waterdavians now use this phrase in argument with one another over all kinds of matters when comparing wrongs done. “Doth thy mirror crack?” or “Hurl but think not?” or “Take but not count cost? Be nothing, then!” Laeral Silverhand, then the Lady Mage of Waterdeep when she was married to Khelben “Blackstaff” Arunsun, once publicly rebuked an overambitious wizard of the Watchful Order of Magists and Protectors thusly: “If I hurl spells but think not of consequences, I am nothing. If I take lives but count not the cost, I am nothing. If I steal in the night and see not the faces of the devastated come the next morning, I am nothing. If I make decrees like a ruler but undertake none of the other responsibilities of the throne, I am nothing. And if I do all these things in the name of the Watchful Order, I am less than nothing. Doth thy mirror crack?” These scornful words are remembered and used almost daily in Waterdeep even a century later.

The Walking Statues

Over a century ago, just one of these eight behemoth statues stood visible at the northern foot of Mount Waterdeep, on a bluff called Gull Leap. Ninety feet tall, it resembled a bald human staring out to sea. Later events (discussed below) caused it to be transformed into the statue known today as the Sahuagin Humbled. When the Spellplague gripped Waterdeep in 1385 DR, six more walking statues suddenly appeared in the city, wandering to wreak havoc even as the Sahuagin Humbled remained motionless. The authorities and citizens of Waterdeep succeeded in stopping three of these new statues, breaking the Swordmaiden and the Hawk Man, and sinking the God Catcher into the street up to its waist. Then all the statues mysteriously stopped their rampage just as quickly as they had begun it. Tsarra Chaadren, the Blackstaff at the time, couldn’t command them to return to their former hiding places on the Ethereal Plane. Consequently, the city repaired itself and built up around them. Much later, in 1479 DR, the eighth statue — the Griffon — emerged from the Ethereal Plane to defend Ahghairon’s Tower against intrusion. It roosted there for a time before flying to its current position near Peaktop Aerie on Mount Waterdeep. Once more, this activity seemed to be outside the Blackstaff’s control. Thankfully, all the walking statues have been dormant for well over a decade now, serving only as beautiful, cyclopean reminders of Waterdeep’s might. A complete overview can be found in The Waterdavian Walking Statues.

City Celebrations

At many times of year, hardly a tenday can pass in Waterdeep without the staging of some rite, race, or rousing ceremony of civic pride. These are greatly enjoyed by the populace, and attract diverse crowds depending on the type of festival. A summary of the broad plethora of Waterdavian festivities can be consulted in Volo's Tractate on the Waterdavian Calendar.

Parting Words

Well, gentle readers, you’ve reached the end of my enchiridion. If you’ve yet to arrive in the city, its splendors await you. If you’re reading this within its walls, please set aside this chapbook to experience the city. You might even see an extraordinarily handsome author hard at work reviewing one of Waterdeep’s drinking establishments. If you do so, I greet you in advance: “Well met! Autographs cost seven nibs.”