The Tale and the Truth About Dwarven Bacon

Ah yes... Dwarven Bacon... the most delectable treat t' be found anywhere. But ye've gotta be sure ye're gettin' the real thing! Lotsa stuff out there that claims t' be, but isn't! Y' see... the real Dwarven Bacon can only be made from Icehold rabbit meat! Most o' what ye find in the markets is boar, beef, or even - gods forbid - birdmeat! But it's the rabbit that makes the bacon! An' not just any old coney either! Gotta be from the tundras north o' the Coldsea.

— a (mistaken) self-proclaimed epicurian expert in Endmere

Alas, the food-loving merchant quoted above is just one more example of those who have heard one of several tales about the true nature of Dwarven Bacon, and has accepted that tale as truth. This description of a food item that all the Folk of Cartyrion agree is perhaps the tastiest, most desirable treat to be found anywhere comes from a tale that purports to explain its origins in the far north Icehold Delve of the Dwarves. Like most myths, much of the tale is either embellishment or pure fiction. But again like most myths, there are hidden grains of truth in the tale as well. So let us explore the myth - and the truth - about this most wonderful taste treat!

The Myth

Most of the stories about the origin of Dwarven Bacon place its beginnings in the Icehold Delve, the Dwarven citadel underneath the Lone Mountain in the frozen Northern Wastes north of the Coldsea. A few, though, insist that it must have originated in the Waking Delve, the first home of the Dwarves, given to them as a gift from their creator gods. Any Dwarf that knows their history will scoff at this, however; they will admit that Icehold Delve is indeed the true source.

The most widely accepted tale - the one recounted in the quote above - claims that Dwarven Bacon was first produced out of necessity. The Dwarves attempting to settle the far-off Icehold Delve did not anticipate the poor hunting in the icy wastelands. It was too cold to grow their giant mushroom crops beneath the frozen mountain, and the customary game hunted by Dwarves above the ground could not be found.

The story claims they were forced to rely on trapping the one source of meat that did seem to be abundant: the large, white snow rabbits that were quite plentiful on the lower slopes of their mountain. But as these creatures hibernated in deep, hidden warrens during the coldest times of the year, they needed to preserve meat when they could get it. Smoking was the most convenient way to do so, thus the first Dwarven Bacon was produced by curing the few small strips of snow rabbit meat that could be gleaned from each single catch.

This tale has been retold so frequently that even many Dwarves believe it. And the value that wealthy gourmands among all the Folk place on Dwarven Bacon has resulted in many a unsuspecting rabbit in many a temperate woodland setting meeting its early demise at the hands of somebody trying to get as close to "the real thing" as possible. But these efforts fall far short, as they are based on belief in the wrong parts of the myth.

The Truth

Parts of the tale above are indeed true. Dwarven Bacon did originate with the early settlers of the Icehold Delve. They did find the mushroom spores they brought with them did not fare well in the icy cold of their new chosen home, and the first bacon did come about as a result of trying to cure scarce meat to preserve it when hunting was exceptionally poor. But this is where myth ends and truth begins.

The most important truth to be learned is that Dwarven Bacon is not about the choice of meat. The early Iceholders probably did trap and cure snow rabbits, but much of the first Dwarven Bacon was far more likely the product of Giant White Bears, or the equally fearsome wild Glacier Sheep that could be found in the mid and upper reaches of the Lone Peak.

The truth about Dwarven Bacon is that it is not the meat that makes it distinct, it is the unique flavors from the curing, and this brings us to the second partial truth hidden in the myth.

While the mushroom spores the Dwarven settlers brought with them could not grow, they did find that many of the caverns beneath the Lone Peak were already rich with giant mushroom crops that were unique and well-adjusted to the icy temperatures.

And while many of these new fungi were edible, there was one in particular that proved to be more useful as fuel for fires. It didn't take long to further discover that the smoke emanating from this giant purple mushroom gave a unique and highly desirable flavor to foods infused with it.

Meat smoked with charcoals made from the Icehold Crystal Mushroom is what came to be known as Dwarven Bacon.

Closing Comments

Those who know the truth about the Icehold Crystal Mushroom and its association with Dwarven Bacon do not try to correct other Folk when they hear the erroneous myths about their favorite culinary treat. The reason for this is financial. The Icehold does export the valuable and unique charcoal, but only in small quantities that command very high prices. And the more people that discover the truth about Dwarven Bacon, the higher those prices rise. At the time of this writing, the charcoal costs 35 gold coins per pound.

One last thing about the Icehold Crystal Mushroom and Dwarven Bacon is worth mentioning. There are some who believe that the mushroom charcoal smoke does more than just infuse unique flavor; it is possible that something in the smoke is actually addictive. This could perhaps explain why so many Folk who experience true Dwarven bacon for the first time find themselves deeply craving more. But perhaps, the addictive nature of Dwarven Bacon is just another myth.

Credits

Banner bacon image by Reinhard Thrainer from Pixabay

Whte rabbit image (left) by Наталья Коллегова from Pixabay
White rabbit image (right) by Наталья Коллегова from Pixabay

Crystal mushroom image by Fractals99 from Pixabay

Character portraits in sidebars by RPGDinosaurBob using HeroForge.