My Own Nature

41) As the ages pass I find myself less and less conected to who I used to be. I do not rember where I was born, who my farther was, I no longer even rember how I came to be a vampire. It does not matter. I am a Vampire, I have lived for centuries, what need have I to worry about these petty concerns over a long passed mortal life. The man I was when I was born has been long dead and there is no need to continue to dwell on him whatever his name was.
41) I was attending a feast this evening when the fool of a servant spilt a jug of wine down my front. I jumped up with a curse and the room fell to a shocked hush, at first I thought it at the servants expense but later I realised it was at mine for I had unkowingly cursed by long dead gods. I was the subject of much gossip then and the local priests have made sure to keep an eye on me for I was suspected now of heresy. Now that I have noticed it I realise that I curse by the old gods often unless I take particular pains to prevent it and in surprise or anger that becomes almost impossible. It is instinctive and try as I might I cannot seem to rid myself of it.
45) I notice my body has been gradualy changing, only now as I am trying to find new clothes do I truly notice. I am much thinner than a mortal, their is little excess meat on my bones and I am convinced that it will only get more noticable as I grow still older. What will I become, what are the truly anchient of my kind like. I take some pains to find a discreet tailor and explain away my nature as the result of a childish malidy. I commision from him cloths that will disguise how truly gaunt my body is.