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House of Cleansing

Houses of Cleansing are religious clinics run by worshipers of the True Flame of Cairen. These followers believe that the essence of Cairen lies in her domains of rebirth and cleansing. The houses ask for little in the form of payment, judging each incident and person as they appear. A nobleman may pay a small fortune, though to them it is a trifle, where one without a home may find it costs them only a small task. The houses are generally single storied affairs with an attached greenhouse on the side. The greenhouse is usually similar in size to the main house and contains a wide variety of plant life. These greenhouses are tended to by novices in the order. Given the relative size of the faith at large however, they may only have two people working in them.   The more mundane healing tasks are left to those initiates in the faith who may not have the knowledge required to either make the cures or cast the spells. Many spells have been passed down to the members of the faith but are kept in reserve from others for a number of reasons, not the least of which being necromancies association with unnatural things. As not all members of this faith can practice magic or manipulate Aura particularly well, they rely heavily on poultices and salves for major injuries. The poultices are created from herbs grown in their private greenhouses. The plants grown in these greenhouses can range in value immensely but never seem to adversely affect the cost of aid provided by these establishments.    Despite the priests of Cairen's prowess at healing there are several reasons why people are avers to requesting assistance from these clinics. One of these being the fact that magical healing stems from necromancy, which has a long and sordid past. Many in need are often reluctant to seek aid from such clinics, except in the worst circumstances. In addition all who know of the worshipers of Cairen will associate them, at least in part, to their more radical kindred, the Pyrelings. Regardless, the Houses of Cleansing treat many across the lands.   Some of these houses have seen a fair number of incidents with vandalism, particularly those within larger cities. This has caused many of these locations to become more clandestine in their operations within locations such as Townsville. In these towns and cities, where the Cairen worshippers are already shunned, these houses are bestowed new names such a crematoriums or kilns. In particular the locations that retain a practitioner are rarely, if ever, visited and are almost always the targets of attacks by the populace. Because of this and their remarkable abilities the practitioners are often shuffled about from house to house.   In locations such as Frotenyæger where the worship of Cairen is widely accepted, there is a cathedral-like House of Cleansing with a massive garden in place of the smaller greenhouses. This location boasts dozens of minor practitioners, and it is widely regarded as the highest honor to be stationed at this location. The Ember Citadel, as it has been named, was constructed with the aid of the local lord M.C. Banany and his patronage to the Houses of Cleansing within the cities and neighboring countryside. This has brought some criticism on him in noble circles outside of the region, but it has yet to assuage his opinion on the open worship of any god.
Type
Clinic

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Jul 7, 2021 17:42

Well done!   "are a type of religious clinic" unless there are other types of religious clinics elsewhere and that you plan on defining, "Religions Clinics", I would just remove 'a type of'.   "The houses ask for little in the form of payment, judging each incident and person as they appear." Ok, they ask little, what is the judging? Are you saying that they run on a sliding scale, where payment is based on what they can afford? If so, maybe state it clearer. Especially since that is what you describe right after.   "A noble man" Ok, can we just make this ' A noble' as gender is not relevant, unless the clinic only treats men.   "These greenhouses are tended to by novices in the order but, given the relative size of the faith at large, may only have two people working in it." run-on sentence. split into two.   "manipulate Aura particularly well they" missing comma between well and they. Further, I think this sentence is better stated as, "Member of the faith that do not practice magic or manipulate Aura particularly well rely heavily on poultices and salves for major injuries."   "The poultices are created from herbs grown in their private gardens." Not in the greenhouses? Then what are the greenhouses for?   "The more mundane healing tasks are left to those initiates in the faith who may not have the knowledge required to either make the cures or cast the spells." Hmm, can you combine this with the first sentence since it is talking about the same subgoup?   "Many spells have been passed down to the members of the faith but are kept in reserve from others for a number of reasons, not the least of which being necromancies association with unnatural things." Ok, a couple of things here. The subject of this paragraph seems to be about members of the faith that are not magicians. So the sentence about spells doesn't fit. I would make it a separate paragraph (or combine it instead with the next one), and then split the sentence as it is a run-on.   "The aversion to necromancy is only the tip of the iceberg however when it comes to seeking aid from one of these establishments." so aversion to necomancy is a reason (and only the tip of the reason) why people seek aid form these houses, BUT the houses use necromancy AND keep quiet about it because it isn't natural...that doesn't make sense.   Ok, I think all the stuff about necromancy can be a separate paragraph. which then creates a new paragraph about the Pyrelings....which doesn't seem to be associated with necro anyway, unless I'm wrong.   "kindred the Pyrelings" missing comma.   "Some of these houses have seen a fair number of incidents with vandalism particularly those within larger cities." Is this clearer saying, "In areas where this association is more common, generally in larger cities, a fair number of vandalism incidents occur as a result."   "This has caused many of these locations to become more clandestine in their existence within locations such as Townsville." poopy structure. Try, "As a result, many houses in these areas have chosen to become less obvious as to their nature. In fact, the sharp decline in known houses within Townsville is believed to be a direct result of this.   " Particularly the locations" missing comma.   " In these towns and cities where the Cairen worshippers are already shunned these houses are bestowed new names such a crematoriums or kilns. Particularly the locations that retain a practitioner are rarely if ever visited and are almost always the targets of attacks by the populace. Because of this and their remarkable abilities the practitioners are often shuffled about from house to house." I think this is a new paragraph. I'm not happy with the way it is worded, but can't think of anything else right now.   "accepted there" missing comma.   "cathedral like" hyphenate. "than a garden" would this be "than a greenhouse" as you have never mentioned courtyard or garden before.   " This location boasts dozens of minor practitioners and it is widely regarded as the highest honor to be stationed at this location." mssing comma before and.   Hmm, I find this last paragraph organized starngely. Maybe start with, "Not all locations denegrate the faith or its houses. In some locations, the practice is widely accepted and, perhaps, even venerated. One such example is the Ember Citadel in Frotenyaeger..."   "This has brought some criticism on him in noble circles but it has yet to assuage his opinion on the open worship of any god." Ok, if in locations such as this place, it is widely accepted, why would he experience criticism. That's kinda a weird statement to go here.

Jul 7, 2021 17:55

love the amount of feedback here. I will look to addressing each point later today probably first thing on stream before i start the new article.

Jul 7, 2021 17:56

I feel like some of the problems are the missing knowledge from articles that havnt been written yet though.

Jul 7, 2021 17:56

This was a great read! There are some things you could change, but it looks like Soutti got you covered for that. ^^ I do like the concept of a house of healing what has its tendencies with necromancy resulting in some parts of the world shunning the entire idea. It's a nice plot twist-esque thing.   Keep up the good work! :D

Jul 7, 2021 22:43

Yes, I couldn't agree with you more.

Jul 7, 2021 18:34 by Amélie I. S. Debruyne

interesting article! I like how they are treated differently depending on people beliefs. Do they ever use their necromancy magic for healing or other stuff?

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