Jeff Wiggins, Esq.

Jeff Wiggins, Esq.

Weary of winning lawsuit after lawsuit from the cranberry bogs of Hewhuola, Jeff Wiggins, Esq. wants to slide his way into the world of love. Using his saxophone to play smooth jazz for all, Jeff Wiggins, Esq. is coming to a bedroom near you.

Physical Description

General Physical Condition

Tall ass snail, 6'1. Bulky as shit, weighing in at 280lbs.

Body Features

A snail.

Facial Features

Tiny fucking eyes for such a large snail. Beady gray eyes. Do I have a mouth? I don't know. Do you see it? Must be tiny, too.

Identifying Characteristics

BIG ASS SNAIL

Physical quirks

Winks at you with beady grey eyes, while enticing you with smooth jazz on his saxophone, so you don't kill him in battle. *wink tiny wink*

Mental characteristics

Personal history

Jeff Wiggins, Esq. grew up as an only snail in the cranberry bogs of Hewhuola, to Cindy and Mike Wiggins, cranberry farmers. They were chill parents, real cool snails. Jeff slid his way out of the bogs to attend law school while also studying music. He fell in love with the sweet, sexy, smooth sounds of Jazz. Jeff quickly picked up the soprano saxophone and knew he could follow his two passions in life: Law and Love. Jeff realized his charisma in public court favored him, but the hours were long. He turned to private practice in order to allow time to play that smooth, smooth jazz music. Hitting the clubs, making lovers along the way, Jeff felt the call of the music in his soul. He decided to travel the world to enlighten others to smooth jazz, while still taking up cases along the way. That snail condo isn't going to pay for itself, you know.

Gender Identity

Fuck man, I'm a hermaphroditic gigantic snail. I'll be whatever you want me to be, baby.

Sexuality

All are welcome. I have slime for all.

Employment

Attorney at Law and full-time smooth jazz player

Accomplishments & Achievements

Well, shit. I rule ass being a snail lawyer. Have you seen my commercials? You need your money and you need it now? Contact Jeff Wiggins, Esq. Either the man will kill you or I might*
*For legal purposes, me joking I might kill is just a joke. Please don't sue me because your family member died after I seduced them.**
**For legal purposes, I did not seduce your family member, they seduced me. You wanna fight that shit? Have you seen how much I rule the courts? Fuck you bitch.***
***For legal purposes, my assistant wrote all of this. Sue her.

Failures & Embarrassments

I think I accidentally have murdered everyone I've touched. Oops. That's embarrassing. My bad.

Mental Trauma

See above

Jeff Wiggins, Esq. reigns supreme in the court of law, now he wants to reign supreme in the court of love. He plays smooth jazz to enhance your senses & enlighten your mind. Oh & he doesn't know his slime is poisonous, so he's also an accidental assassin.

View Character Profile

Alignment

Chaotic Good

Age

35

Birthplace

The Fruit Farms of Hewhuola

Eyes

Gray

Skin Tone/Pigmentation

Shell is brown with dark red splotches

Height

6'1

Weight

280

Known Languages

Common and Gastrosapien - Gastrosapien is a sibilant language that uses the Elvish script