VYRNÍMA GAZETTE #672
4th week, Ganack, 1402ER
ONLY 2p - EVERYTHING EVENTFUL IN THE CRADLE CITY
WHAT IS NOT HERE - WAS NOT IMPORTANTEst. 1388ER
WHAT IS NOT HERE - WAS NOT IMPORTANT
Est. 1388ER
ASSEMBLYMAN FOULLY MURDERED
Dark tragedy upsets Drift Ward! This past falkes-night, assemblyman Hyrakho Vym (Orc, 41) was found murdered in an alleyway off Roaming street. The reprehensible deed was committed by persons as yet unknown. A person of some controversy, the outspoken Vym was well-known to have made his share of enemies high and low.
His most recent endeavors involved a bevy of criticisms leveled at senior secretaries of the Exchequer. Why the assemblyman concerned himself with pecuniary issues is anyone's guess. His colleagues of the Drift assembly have vowed that the perpetrators will be found with speed, and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
His most recent endeavors involved a bevy of criticisms leveled at senior secretaries of the Exchequer. Why the assemblyman concerned himself with pecuniary issues is anyone's guess. His colleagues of the Drift assembly have vowed that the perpetrators will be found with speed, and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Captain Ghyron of the Mosscoats examined the scene of the crime, but was unable to be reached for comment.
UNREST IN CHARIMEX
Word has reached the intrepid editory staff of the Gazette of unrest to the north. A nation with no elements save the unsavoury; the Charimexian military is reported to be mobilizing to contain an internal uprising of substantial threat. Whether organized and backed by rogue members of the Marquis' own tyrannical government, an outside influence, or wholly spontaneous rebellious citizens, is presently unknown. Of course, our astute reader shall not that these things do not exclude one another.Ambassador Balakh'Haer (devil, 2984) of Charimex states ''Alas, it is a deeply saddening and unfortunate reality that even the most benevolent of governments must occasionaly contend with those who would buck the social order in order to further their personal agenda. You may rest assured that our stalwart legion is marching to address the issue forthwith.''
With a long history of waging wars of conquest, the brimstone nation has a chequered history when it comes to maintaining peaceable relations with its neighbors. Nevertheless, its long-reigning Marquis has never ruled his own lands with anything less than an iron fist.
While we might otherwise be inclined to wish the rebellious elements good fortune, we are sadly legally prevented from doing so. The contract of correspondence that was a requirement to be able to converse with the good ambassador of Charimex turns out to contain a number of layered subclauses that are currently being studied by our legal editor.
ROBBERY AT HERMITAGE MUSEUM
The revered halls of the Hermitage Museum were burgled by a blatant band of thieves on the night of pharanes. A junior conservator, Midas Pholon (human, 22) informed us that the premises were vandalized and illscented muck tracked across the hallowed halls.The disreputable malcontents malappropriated only a single relic, an ivory rod thought to hail from the Cymmurian era. While considered an object of some value, the watchful constables of the museum were able to prevent further losses to the collection.
Forced to take flight, the thieves scattered in the direction of the Tomb Ward. No doubt the rod will be swiftly dismantled, its valuable materials to be sold on the black market.
CURSED WELL CONTAMINATES WATER
The continued spread of the frozen flux in the Baelen's Wood neighborhood of the Spiral Ward is attributed to a cursed well. Reliable locals sources attest to a sordid history of the landmark in question; one Kaera Otho (human, deceased), the director of the long-since closed local orphanage, is said to have drowned over a dozen unwanted children in its inky depths!This reporter can personally attest that waters drawn from the well are fouled beyond all recognition, smelling worse than a pig's rear end three weeks after shuffling off this mortal coil. A local wisewoman (dwarf, 211) confirmed that the reprehensible liquid shows signs of ''primal influence,'' but so far no one has been able to purify the previously vital source of drinking water.
The Mosscoats have cordoned the well off, adding warning signs. A Nullarium research team is further examining the site. Find out their progress in next week's edition!
EXCAVATION RESULTS CONTINUE TO FASCINATE
The excavation of a ruined imperial fort near the village of Ghyllonia continues to yield interesting finds. Relics of the Lythean era have been recovered with some regularity, with excavators praising their well-preserved condition. This has been attributed to the acidity of the local soil, which consists mostly of peat bog.Lead archeologist lady Coralina Ti Appia (Elf, 52), comments; ''Concensus among scholars is that Lythean relics were usually created to serve a decorative purpose. Here, we have uncovered a variety of weapons and gadgets that appear to have served some utilitarian purpose, even if their animating magicks have long since dissipated. It's too early to draw any conclusions, but my expectation is that some of our assumptations regarding that time period will have to be adjusted after this excavation is concluded.''
The Cat's Corner
Mice harried in great number as the newsroom's resident monarch - Bruiser the ginger tomcat - is invigorated by the increasing clemency of the weather.
Rest assured intrepid reader! We nevertheless provide our fearsome feline with his favored snacks and bovine-derived libation.
Rest assured intrepid reader! We nevertheless provide our fearsome feline with his favored snacks and bovine-derived libation.
Notices
HELP WANTED: Modest reward, exciting journey, restless ghosts. Inquire at Wellhaven Manor, Tomb Ward.ARMS & ARMAMENTS: Need to protect your home & hearth? Settle for nothing less than best. Blades sharpest, best quality steel. Visit Rhuwen's Emporium, Steel Ward south.
FINEST MEATS & DELICACIES: Finest cuts, carefully selected. Beef, pork, mutton & more. Assorted cheeses & dried fruits. Willard's Butch. Glass Ward.
MYSTERY WOMAN: We met at the Masquerade Ball. You wore a crimson dress, a fox mask. I wore sable, an owl's. We danced, I was too shy too speak. I beg you, meet at the Ivy Fountain after sundown, next Tigrias.
WE WANT YOU: Brave, determined, strong? Native-born citizen? Heed the call, serve & protect our City of Blossoms! Join the Mosscoats today! Steady pay, great opportunity for advancement. No experience required, 2m sign-up bonus.
PERSONNEL WANTED: Seeking skilled sr. editor! Generous salary, steady position, dynamic environment! Extended knowledge of law req. Experience with type-setting, editorializing, etc, rec. Inquire at THE VYRNÍMA GAZETTE, Spiral Ward.
LOST PET RETURNED CHILD GRATEFUL
Pollo Thoros (gnome, 9) was delighted by the return of his lost pet, a stoat named Mr. Wiggly. The excitable fellow had gotten in to the cellar of the Raven's Eye, a local tavern. Presumably scouring the place for pests.He was returned unharmed by the tavern owner, only slightly hung over after what was surely an adventurous night.
The young gnome's parents seemed equally pleased at the return of the odoriferous mustelid, if their fixed smiles and tearful eyes were any indication.
The weather
Temperatures expected to drop, taking a turn towards the clement.Late summer storms likely.
Interesting article and nice concept of a newspaper. Cool layout, too. Thanks for sharing and entering this into the Special Category. God bless and much success with your New Year's plans! <3
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