Bring me Cheese! Report

General Summary

After camping inside the Drow Fort in UnderDetroit, the heroes arise and recieve a sending. They make a decision to return to Detroit.

As they exit the fortress they encounder a goblin wearing a worn and torn butler's uniform. The goblin, Surg, informs the heroes that his master desires to speak with them on a matter of mutual profit. A pouch of clinking coins is given the heroes and they agree to follow Surg.
The path taken is away from returning to Detroit, the south-east tunnel away from the Drow Fort. Soon the heroes are again seeing the various vermin turned to stone, bats, rats and spiders, on the tunnel floor. The heroes continue after Surg past the area they have previously scouted.
In less than an hour the tunnel widens to form a room with a number of very life-like statues of various humanoids in heroic poses, such as casting a spell or shooting an area. Surg is met by another goblin wearing an equally decrepit butler's uniform, Dorhht (though the heroes never ask for the goblin's names). As the heroes are admiring the craftsmanship of these stone statues, a booming voice declares, "I SEE YOU!" Descending from one of the large holes in the ceiling is a round stone-like creature with a large toothy mouth and an enormous central eye. Multiple tentacles wave from the body of the creature, each tipped with a large eye.
The creature addresses the Heroes,
My full true name is beyond the comprehension of your meager meat & juice brains, I am known to the wise as Aaghaziskakhogarxeaphzendraxeks. I readily observe that even this is beyond your intellectual capabilities, so you may call me Richard. No Richard is too much for your cranial capacities so you must address me as Dick. That is what I shall be to you a large round floating Dick. But Dick is too plain to encompass the magnificence of my being so something more is needed. To help you understand the vast gulf of intellect between my over-clocked solid-state brain and the organic lumps of incomplete proteins between your ears, you shall acknowledge me as Cerebration Expert Dick.
The heroes make some noises, which Dick dismisses as insignificant and he continues,
If you were to experience even a tenth of the scope of my thoughts your disgusting organic brains would liquify and run out your ears, but I do have need of your kind because you have hands and feet. So you are to use those hands and feet to bring me as much cheese as you can carry as quickly as you are able.
Take this insignificant trinket, sell it and bring back the cheese. (Dorhht hand the heroes a dagger.)
One of the heroes asks what kind of cheese is needed, and Dick replies,
Bring me fresh new cheese, I do not want old bad cheese, this should not be too difficult even for you.
One of the heroes makes a remark, which Dick is not paying any attention to and he says,
Aha! a faint glimmer of wit in that one, mark him for a possible promotion or disintegration. We shall see, we shall see. What are you standing about for? Do you not understand? Must I repeat myself? Go now and bring me the cheese.


  And the heroes left the lair of Dick and headed back to the city of Detroit.

Rewards Granted

pouch of coins, 100 gp
+2 dagger, 5 charges remaining. Sold for 2,500 gp.