Session 96: Is it a coup if the queen was already dead? Report

General Summary

The combat continued, with Roisin ordering Boris to attack, and Boris took a swing at the guard closest, but missed. Boris then read from a scroll to call forth a magical storm cloud that blasted three of the guards with a bolt of lightning, though all three survived, and also conjured a spiritual gavel that crushed in the skull of another guard. The guard facing Bastion ran away in fear, taking another powerful punch in the process. Bastion then flew over to where Roy faced their captain, punched him twice, and shoved him over the edge of the wall. The guard captain fell 75 feet in silence, landed with a loud thump, and just pointed up at Bastion. Roy fired off two blasts of magical force, moved his animated coins closer to the other guards, then teleported to a roof closer to the ground. More guards attacked Roisin, striking twice; Roy, striking four times in total; Roisin again, missing, and Boris hitting once. The ones facing a conjured creature of elemental fire ran away screaming and in flames and others repositioned themselves. The guard captain rushed around the corner and closer to the fray, caught a second wind, and ordered several guards to further move to better tactical positions. Jeeves, still on fire, conjured a pike, and attacked two of the guards, missing one and striking the other while ordering the elemental fire creature to burn the guards. The elemental ignited the guard captain and one other guard, then further burned the guard captain. Roisin, surrounded by guards, let out an impossibly loud Cry of Anger and blasted everyone around her with thunderous, deafening, sound. Unfortunately Boris and Jeeves were also struck and blasted back, but several guards were blasted back as well and severely injured. Roisin ran up the stairs leading to the upper walls, as Boris stood up and turned to vigorouosly hammer the guard he had bumped into before moving his spiritual gavel closer to the mass of the guards. The fleeing guard shot at Boris, striking once. Bastion was startled by the incredible scream, and then realized a creature of living fire was burning the guards, read a script to extend his range, then magically called forth his own thunderous sound to shatter the ears of the guard captain and several guards, killing two, as he flew lower. Roy teleported a short distance, then hid in the darkness. The guards continued to try to strike Boris, missing, Bastion, hitting once, ...; all tried to again gain better position; and then some sought refuge in the adjacent chapel. The guard captain fled from the elemental fire creature, seeking refuge in the chapel. Jeeves moved to Roy, using his chirurgen's skill to heal the wizard's wounds, then feeding him a magical potion to further heal his many injuries before ordering the fire creature to go burn everyone in the chapel to ash. Roisin then ordered Boris to attack again, and Boris struck out at the guard beside him, caving in his chest. Boris then attacked the one guard who had not yet run away, and struck once, then missed with his spiritual gavel. The guards fired a couple crossbow bolts into Boris, striking with both. Bastion followed the guards into the chapel, and discovered they had awoken a massive bronze construct, were praying at some kind of blood-covered stone altar, and there was a creature of fire crowded into this small chapel with everyone. The guard next to Boris ran away, and Jeeves struck with a pike followed Boris launching a guiding bolt of radiance that burned the guard to ash with holy energy. Roy moved his animated coins to another guard and battered the guard into a cube of metal and bloody mash, then tried to hide, but failed miserably. A nearby guard tried to stab Roy, but missed. The guards tried to shoot Bastion, but missed, and stabbed Bastion a few times while Bastion struck one in reaction, which caused the bronze construct to reach out, slam Bastion, and grab the Warborn in an immobilizing fist. Other guards repositioned, and also tried to strike Roisin, but missed. The Bronze construct tried to slam Bastion and cram him into its chest-mounted boiler, but was unable to do so, so it shoved Bastion into the fire creature, further burning him. Roisin ordered Roy to attack, and Roy launched two blasts of force into the guard next to him. Boris' spiritual gavel broke the neck of the guard next to him, then Boris called lightning out of the storm cloud still overhead and fried the guard next to Roy, then finally moved to the chapel and discoverd that there was a construct inside; promptly losing all concern for other enemies. Bastion tried to lock the bronze construct in place, but it shrugged off the effect. Roy launched a magical blast of a thousand darts, which thoroughly perforated the guard, leaving a bleeding corpse, then directed his animated coins to beat another guard into a blood-soaked metal cube. Bastion saw two guards pray at the profane altar which caused blood to flow out of the altar and heal the guard, even as the construct again failed to stuff this struggling creature into it's boiler. Jeeves stabbed the construct twice from behind, staggering it, then used a magical alchemy that caused Bastion to teleport behind Roy, thoroughly confusing him, and stepped back into the darkness. Boris then used one of his boons enabling him to deconstruct a construct, leaving it as little more than a pile of raw materials, and send his spiritual gavel to bash the stone altar. Bastion launched a magical missile flurry at a guard, smashing him in the face, the Roy launched a phase bolt against the same guard, rocking him on his heels, then moved back. The guards tried to strike Boris, delivering a few minor hits. Jeeves struck the nearest guard with an effort to avoid killing him, but struck far too hard and snapped the guard's neck. Roisin jumped off the walls, and stood almost without harm, then rallied Bastion and Boris with a word of encouragement before ordering Boris to attack, so Boris threw his hammer and staggered the guard. Boris then threw his hammer again, followed up with a second attack, and bashed the guard with his spiritual gavel, caving in the guard's skull. Bastion held a fire bolt in case any more threats might show themselves. Another construct, this one of wood, appeared, and was struck by Bastion's fire bolt before trying, and failing, to strike Boris. Roy complained about the sudden group of constructs, then used a scorching ray to burn the wooden creature to ash. The last guard reappeared after ducking inside the Donjon earlier, and fired a couple crossbow bolts, striking Roy. Jeeves struck the guard twice, trying not to kill again, then moved the cloud of acidic fumes over the upper levels of the Donjon in order to "smoke out" anyone there. Suddenly, blood began to waterfall off the roof of the Donjon in all directions, quickly dissolving in the magical, acidic, cloud. Roisin ordered Roy to attack. Roy launched a pair of eldritch blasts, taunting the guard with "Hey, numb nuts, maybe this will make 'em even more numb" and blasting away the guard's codpiece. Boris tried to strike the guard, but missed and hit the elemental instead. Bastion looked over to the guard and tried to lock up their armor magically, successfully paralyzing them, unfortunately the guard remained alight and fell unconscious, but Jeeves quickly doused the flames and stabilized the guard.

With all enemies neutralized, Bastion spent a half a minute pulverizing the foul altar with his magic thunder gauntlets. Bastion felt a cloud of misfortune gather around him as he did so, but felt no further effects. Jeeves took this time to patch up his friends, including healing Bastion with a minor magic. Meanwhile, Roy gave Jeeves a goodberry which was used to wake up the unconscious guard. Jeeves asked the guard what was going on in the Donjon, to which the guard answered it is where the "master" lives. Jeeves asked about the waterfall of blood, and the guard responded with "aww, what the hell, go frack yourself, kill me arsehole!" Jeeves replied "This is coated with a poison that is a very nasty way to die" the guard again said "Kill me!". Boris heard that and threw his hammer, striking the guard in the head, crushing it, so Roy called over his animated coins which battered the remains into a blood-soaked cube.

Moments later a pair of ballista bolts fired into the ground next to Bastion and another pair slammed into the elemental fire creature. A clockwork hound rushed out of a tower to attack Bastion, but missed. Boris called forth a bolt of lightning from the storm cloud and slammed into the hound and began climbing the stairs beside the tower. Roisin ordered Bastion to attack, and Bastion punched the hound in the head. Bastion then cast magic to speed himself up, punched the hound, then flew up toward the tower, avoiding the hound's reaction bite, and ending on level with the arrow port. Jeeves moved to a corner of the building, struck the hound with a pike, then broke the pike with an unlucky strike, and ordered the fire creature to fly up and begin burning the other ballista before conjuring a Longbow to replace the pike. Roy launched a pair of eldritch blasts at the hound, striking once and shattering the creature, before heading inside. The ballista fired harpoon bolts at Bastion, striking once, and pulling him up against the arrow slit. This disrupted Bastion's concentration, leaving him unable to act for a moment. A well dressed noble stepped out onto the battlements and conjured a huge mass of bloody tentacles to assault Roisin, Roy, and Jeeves. Only Jeeves failed to dodge and was restrained by the tentacles. One ballista fired an explosive bolt that struck near Roisin and Jeeves, but Roisin evaded it entirely as Jeeves dodged the worst of it. Boris ran up the stairs further, and called another bolt of lightning, at the noble this time. Roisin ordered Boris to attack, and Boris struck with his hammer, but the noble somehow called some of Boris' blood to flow out of him and to the noble, who drank it down. Roisin moved away from the area of tentacles as well. Jeeves broke free, stepped out of the area, then fired a couple of poisoned arrows at the noble, striking once, and the fire creature flowed out of the arrow slit, after burning its ballista to ash. Roy was caught by the tentacles, but again teleported to escape the tentacles, then began running upstairs. The ballista tried to attack Bastion, but pushed him off the grapple instead. The noble conjured a creature of elemental water, and it engulfed Roisin, who began to drown, then stepped behind cover after drawing blood from Boris to feast upon and restore its own strength. Boris rushed up, and the noble said "Foolish mortal, I shall drain your blood and feast upon your death." Boris attacked, but the noble casually knocked the weapon aside, and the legendary rainbow lash fell to the ground cold and inert, so Boris retrieved the weapon. Roisin tried to escape, but was unable to do so, even as her breath began to run out. Bastion dashed up and into the tower to get close to the ballista. Jeeves moved away from the water creature, avoiding it's reaction to slam, then shot it with a longbow before snapping the string and pulling out a warhammer. Roy continued running up stairs. The ballista tried to shoot Bastion, but missed. The noble tried to perform some magic, but it fizzled, and he then drained energy from the fire creature, but burned his hands in the process. Boris dropped a Thunder Feather, blasting the fire creature to nothing, and putting out the fire burning the noble. The Noble said "Parlor tricks! Thanks for putting out the flames for me." Roisin tried again to escape the water creature, but failed again, starting to panic as water seeped into her nose. Bastion hammered the ballista with his thunder gauntlets, breaking some of its crossmembers. Jeeves attacked the water creature, striking twice, blasting some of its water form to the ground, then moved back and used more alchemy to magically trade places with Roisin, becoming restrained and beginning to drown. Roy finished climbing stairs, and, panting and wheezing from the effort, fired another blast of a thousand magical darts, perforating the noble repeatedly, then fired a pair of eldritch blasts, one of which hit home. The ballista struck Bastion twice, and detonated an explosive that further damaged Bastion, but also damaged the ballista. The Noble tried to draw the blood from Boris' body, and Boris shook it off, with "Foolish mortal, you cannot do that to me.", so the Noble slapped Boris and drained a bit of his life-force with a vampiric magic. Boris read a scroll to unleash a word of power wracking the noble with pain. The noble reacted with "I'm impressed, Augghh.", and Boris followed up with his spiritual gavel to bash the noble, buckling a knee. Roisin spent the next few moments spitting out water and recovering. Bastion punched the ballista again, breaking it into pieces and throwing them around the room in rage before looking outside to see the water creature before flying up out of the tower. Jeeves consumed another alchemy to double his size, growing to truly giant size and bursting out of the water creature's grasp. Jeeves then slammed the creature with his massive warhammer. Roy, very angry at this presumptuous false noble, and said "I'm tired of you bloody pieces of garbage!", then fired a phase bold that blasted the noble full force, followed by two eldritch blasts. The noble again opened his mouth impossibly wide and drew the blood from both Boris and Roy. Boris repeated "You can't do that to me, fool.", but Roy was unprepared and lost almost all of his blood. The noble exclaimed "Nothing can stop me, NOTHING!". Boris backed away and struck with his spiritual gavel, then Roisin ordered Jeeves to attack, but he missed. Bastion used a void warp to teleport next to the noble, then used magical Ioun's ink to disappear. Jeeves asked how Roy is, receiving a response that Roy was almost dead, and stepped toward the wall, receiving a slap from the elemental which also blocked his escape, so Jeeves struck twice with his warhammer, nearly destroying the creature, but leaving it wavering. Roy exclaimed "Why won't you die!", fired a pair of eldritch blasts, hitting once, then used magic to blink into the ether, and disappeared. The noble then said "I guess I'll take it from you." and used powerful magic to drain life from Bastion, but Bastion's magic and fortitude dramatically reduced the impact. Boris fired a guiding bolt at the water creature, causing it to collapse into a puddle. Roisin dashed with lightning speed up to the battlements. Bastion punched the noble, connecting once, then shoved him off the battlements, but the noble simply hovered in the air and gave Bastion a rude gesture with a smile. Roy appeared, blasted the noble with an orb of light and a blast of force, then disappeared again. The noble tried to move away, Bastion punched him, he turned and tried to slap Bastion, but missed, then flew out into the courtyard. Boris called another bolt of lightning, and struck the noble, then hunkered down behind the battlements. Roisin walked close, consumed a magical draught that enabled her to breathe forth a beam of holy energy, and blasted the noble with intense holy radiance, causing him to explode in a 10-foot wide pillar of blood over an hundred feet tall, then collapsed down and buried Jeeves in blood to his neck. The blood then flowed into the well, drawing all of Jeeves blood with it, but a divine boon caused Jeeves' blood to be drawn back into his body, and even partly healed Jeeves. The party gathered down in the courtyard, except for Boris, who remained above to keep watch.