Session 8 Report

General Summary

Morning comes, we make Amden a little more miserable as per routine, our ever ingenious cleric shows up with a very expensive piece of paper, one that costs enough gold to keep a family of 4 comfortably feed for a month. She said we should write an apology letter to our dearest boss, so we wrote down how we were not sorry and that he should kill himself and also split on it. Sadly instead of giving this letter to him, our ever rich cleric buys yet another overpriced sheet of paper and this time they write down a more sincere apology. He cared for it as much as our bat pony cares for loyalty and friendship, with any luck he would at least appreciate it enough to wipe his avian crack with it. Talking about Moon Planter he also annoyed the boss enough that he lessened the punishment just so he could have his peace and quiet back. Either that or he realized that by making us do guard duty the actual guards of the city wouldn't be understaffed anymore and therefore less miserable, and he couldn't possibly allow the world be a better place by even the smallest amount.   As guards, we were entrusted with the very important job of ruining people's fun by confiscating the fireworks that make the foals smile, leaving them with the shitty ones that will not even light up. During our trip to our biggest suspect(a bat pony who makes the best fireworks), Chair was reminded that she hadn't been racist in a hot minute when she saw a zebra, so she took the chance to ask his about his missing father. She was joined by our small goblo, who revealed herself to be a racist in training when she referred to zebras as "ugly ponies". Also turns out the zebra really did have some shady stuff, which worked as great blackmail material to get him meet up with Doot later so they could do some babies later When we finally get to the home of our biggest suspect of causing happiness, we learn that he's not home and that the house has a magical plot armor protecting it of anything and also reflecting it back to whoever dared to test it, which means our goblo got two new concussions from rocks coming back and hitting their head. Luckily the owner of the house was just some steps away watching with joy as people got hurt trying to break into his house. Doot sees him and spontaneously decides to have sex with him, because why not? He happily accepts her and they go inside his house, leaving the party to continue with it's hard work.   But what happened inside that house was not what Doot imagined, not what anyone could imagine, no one but the pervert bat pony she was at the mercy of could imagine the depravities that were forced unto the poor Kirin. They didn't have dinner, she was led straight to his bed. He effortlessly levitated her into the bed and swiftly conjured chains around all four of her hooves, locking her in an easily assailable position. Her eyes were teary and wide, betraying how scared she was, but in the face of the one who had her exposed and crying in bed, there was a content smug. As she tried fleeing from the chains that had her, he slowly troted to his desk and grabbed a big and pristine book, he went straight to a page he had opened many times before, and what was a content smile on his face became a wide smile as he chanted magical worlds that tried to take over Doot's mind and make her his puppet, with an authoritative voice he ordered her to, "Enjoy everything I will do to you". She rolled a nat 20 on her will save and managed to resist it, but maybe that was the wrong time to roll a nat 20, because if what was about to happen to her was enjoyable then maybe it would have been tolerable. But he was confident she wouldn't be able to resist it and didn't even look at her to check the success of the spell, he carelessly flipped a few pages and chanted another spell, this time his body began to change, his coat and wings became black scales as his body grew in size, in 6 seconds what was a pony became a full dragon that could barely fit the room. Doot's fear grew as the dragon turned around to top her, she could feel her whole body going cold and the bed sinking against the floor with the weight pushed against her... but that is all she could remember, or maybe that is all she couldn't forget. The rest of the memories of that evening were fractured, she could only remember a few vivid moments of that long hour, like when he turned himself into a ooze and forced himself down her anus, or when she became a pig and got electrocuted repeatedly, or when he casted Amplify Stench on his sack which were magically enlarged and forced it into her mouth while a metal dildo was sizzling on her beaver which was magically enchanted into becoming an actual beaver. Her mind couldn't remember of all that was done to her, but her body sure could, because wizards don't have healing spells. While she's was being fucked in the bed of a stranger the party was at a bar getting fucked up, discovering the wonders of Kirin Special and dancing on the floor. Later, Poutine learns to walk again and finds her way to the bar together with mister backstabber who just decided to start working instead of shopping for food. On the bar we found our worst enemy yet, the turd coloured bird who did not pay us after we got screwed after his incompetence. Sadly he made the better judgement to pay us before we could break some of his bones and cut some of his beans. Afterwards we left to continue doing our job, but something more interesting came up: we were promised with violence and blood if we went to fight some wannabe warboss, so we ignored our job once more and went on our way to do violence

Notes

All events above may or may not have been fabricated by a certain dooting and possibly mentally unstable kirin