Born the runt of a litter of twins to an uncaring horde, Kilometus has always lived in the long shadow cast by his brother, Milesamus The Decimator. Well, long-ish. But no more.

Born the runt of a litter of twins to an uncaring horde, Kilometus has always lived in the long shadow cast by his brother, Milesamus The Decimator. Well, long-ish. While they suffered all the same setbacks in life - diminutive stature, a pronounced lisp, a harsh upbringing among the unforgiving tribes of the steppes - his brother was touched by shamanic magicks and reaped all the rewards that came with it - a yurt on every island, a plump goat staked outside, and an adoring wife wrapped in soft animal skins waiting within. Kilometus had to make do with only a seething pot of envy and a low fire of menial labour to boil it on. When finally he could take no more - after his own brother stole his only goat to gift to yet another of his fur-loving harlot-of-a-wives - he let that pot boil over. Alas it was too late, for what appeared to be a hen-do gone terribly wrong had rumbled through Milseamus's camp and left the shaman's corpse in his wake. Now with nowhere to focus it, Kilometus's rage must scour the land for something else to consume. Maybe a goblin or two, no one will miss them will they?
 
This is in no way a joke character made in 2021 in response to a 1-joke 1-fight NPC in another 1-joke character's early quest career, honest.

Age

Old enough to kick your aath, candyman!

Date of Birth

Calendarth are for farmerth and goatherdth!

Gender

All Man

Eyes

2

Hair

Everywhere it counts

Skin Tone/Pigmentation

c#

Height

THAY THAT AGAIN, BLOODTHTAIN!

Weight

I weight for no man!